This is just an outlet for me, to be able to get my thoughts out! I am a Woman, Wife and Mommy that also works outside the home! Just me trying to make it all work for the best for my family and myself! Just my journey!

Sunday, December 30, 2007

100th Post.......

So this is Post 100 and I didn't know I would stick to blogging this long and still love it!! This is such a great way to keep in touch!
So for 2008 I am believing for so much and so thankful to see a new year!! This is GG with my mother in law and that is something to be thankful for!!

GG is an amazing woman, I guarantee you have never met anyone like her! I have watched her laugh and cry and pray like no one else! When GG speaks to God, you know he is listening! She is one amazing woman. My husband tells stories of his childhood, about GG being there and the woman she is makes me want to be a better woman. You know what I am talking about? Have you ever met anyone like that?

All of these kids drive me in the same direction, to be a better woman, and all those things (mom, wife, friend, person, boss) that go along with being a real woman!
I am sooo thankful for 2007 it was good and goals were met and change was seen and God blessed and the blessings were felt, seen and heard. Now, I am thankful to see what is next, what will be GREAT in 2008!!
Happy New Year to all and enjoy and set goals and reach them and strive towards them and always always find that positive, but don't be afraid to vent the negative, it is a positive!!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Thankful for Christmas Time

I was able to celebrate Christmas with my extended family on the 26th. I really enjoy catching up and finding out how and what everyone is doing!! It has become somewhat of a tradition to have Christmas breakfast with my cousins. We were short a few members this year and I was feeling a little sad about that, it was kind of a tugging the whole day! I really enjoyed when the kids began ripping through there presents and since they are all a little older now, it did not require all of us parents to remind them to say thank you, they did it on there own. So the ripping and they thank youing was a cool sound to hear for a few minutes, a short few minutes.

I also enjoyed the short time I had with my husband, kids and my mom and dad on Christmas morning! Then it was on to make the money!! I was reviewing the pictures my husband took on Christmas Eve and Day and it was just now that I realized how much I really missed working on the holidays, these are not days that I get to chose to work or not to, so I guess I'll be ok! Listening to the kids stories of what happened is really neat too! They really really had a good time this year! I like to believe they were truly thankful for their gifts, but this year they all bought gifts for one another and for mommy and daddy and it was so sweet to watch them, they couldn't wait to give each other gifts!!

Even Buddy, our big black lab, or indoor horse, got a gift (he does every year). This year my husband unwrapped Buddy's gift for him and called him in to give it to him and he took the entire stocking, that was rawhide, and filled with other gifts, and would not put it down or let any of us take it from him to open it!! We finally had to let him outside with the whole thing!! He did bring it back in and allow me to take the treats out of it and began enjoying immediately!! He is a character!!

The big hit this year, for the kids, was the Nintendo DS's they received three of them, one from each Grandparent and they are supposed to share them, turns out they all now have their own!! And plenty of games, they also really like these remote control helicopters but I did find more of the men playing with them than the children! And we did have to get them off the roof more than a couple of times!!

This little guy had a great time and loved all of the gifts he opened and really enjoyed chasing all the older kids around!! He surprised me when he couldn't wait to put on his new Croc Boots, sent by his Auntie Shane and her family!!! I just had to snap a shot!! Next to him are his boots he has been wearing and he likes what he likes!! It was so much fun watching the kids and I really enjoyed it!

I was so thankful to be able to celebrate with family in some way this year, even though, better late than never!!

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to everyone, just a little late!! Hope everyone's Christmas was wonderrrrrrrrful!!! Mine was and continues to be! We will be gathering with more family tomorrow!!

Friday, December 21, 2007

This would have been my choice:

If I could choose how I would spend the days before the holiday, when I have to work the holiday, this would have been it!!
I unexpectedly had the day off when my two younger children had their holiday party at school!
Now, I wasn't commited for being there or anything, which is what made it easy to pop back and forth between classrooms! I didn't commit because when they were planned I still had weekends off! This was so much fun for me, I really enjoyed watching the children interact with the other children in the classroom, they really have made good friends this year, some of them from the past years and a few new ones. On a side note, isn't it funny how when we like the children we also like their parents!!
After their parties, I was able to allow the kids to invite one of their friends over, since there wasn't any homework and let them play!
These crazy kids decided to go play outside!! I had no idea how wet it was out there!! The wet made good packing snow for a few good snowmen!! They laughed and played and enjoyed each other so much I was truly blessed!

I was inside, most of the time and I actually got to bake Christmas cookies, alot of them! This is something I thought I wasn't going to get to do this year!! Yea!!
So this is my Christmas, since it will be a quick one on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day since I need to be at work, but if I had to choose to spend a holiday other than the holiday day this would be it and I didn't get to be involved in the planning of it, it just happened this way. I know that God planned it, but I am so thankful that he didn't include me on the planning, thinking about it would have stressed me out and because of who He is it worked out perfect and even de-stressed me a bit (now that is a word you don't here this time of year)!!!
Somewhere around 25 dozen cookies later, I am on my way to prepare for work!
I hope that all of you are finding a way to enjoy your family this Christmas Season!!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

I thought I was done Christmas Shopping! Ha ha ha

Thank you thank you thank you... your comments from yesterday's post have helped me tremendously. All of them brought tears of joy to me. As I wrote the post my eyes were truly filled with sadness and my heart was very heavy! After I wrote that post I was immediately lightened up and my heart was lifted a bit, but when I read the comments I was brought back up to where I needed to be. I cannot say thank you enough!
My baby girl got an 80% on her test that I was so concerned for, she studied on her recess and was able to ask her friends to help her!! I emailed her teacher to let her know how concerned I was for Ya's and when she emailed me that she received and 80%, one of the highest scores in the class, everyone I work with knew how proud I was. She took responsibility seriously and succeeded!
My baby boy came home and immediately told Nana of a Math test he thinks he has done well on! Nana called me at work and suddenly I felt as though I was doing right again and that this is a phase and that "this too shall pass" I was a strong, proud mama again!
The baby is just concerned about the Christmas Party, I mean Holiday Party coming up at school tomorrow and does not get the grab bag gift exchange idea at all. No matter how many times I explained it he wanted to give his gift to one certain student. I finally told him it will go in a bag and everyone will pick and whoever gets it gets it and now I think he gets it!!
I know I told you Christmas shopping was done, remember! There was still one gift to purchase but Larry would not let me get it until Christmas was closer because "electronics go on sale right before Christmas" so I waited and now the buying is back on!! Hubby took the day off to be with me today and go get the one gift we needed and now we are almost done again!!!! This happens every year! I spend and purchase and get what we are getting for the kids and I am very very reasonable in my purchasing. Until today the two younger children had about $60 in gifts a good job on my part. I was not going to over do it! That has all changed, Daddy went shopping!! Now the gift amount is to high to admit but it is done AGAIN!! I certainly enjoyed Larry today, I am so glad he took the day off to be with me it was so good and soooooooo what I needed! I really do like spending time with him!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Probably sharing way to much..........

I cannot stand that being a parent, I always wonder if I am doing the right thing and if I did something wrong in the way I raise my children. Does anyone else go through this?
I find myself asking myself these questions all the time:
Did I do to much?
Do I not do enough?
Is that punishment right?
Do they really understand how much I love them, do I show it enough?
Did I go back to work to soon or not soon enough?
Why do I explode at them at times, is that part of the reasons we are having issues right now?
How can I make them "get" responsibility?
How do I get them to communicate more, about school stuff?
I know my kids trust me, they tell me really personal stuff and we are able to talk through just about everything. But, what happened with school, is this just a phase? Will they grow out of it?
I pray for my children constantly and I pray for Larry and I as parents, I seek guidance. That should be enough right? I'm not sure if I am doing this parenting thing right and I hate not being sure! I feel so weak in strength right now, I am usually a very confident parent, but don't feel that way right now.
I just wish I had this parenting "thing" down. I follow my manual (my Bible) and try to do right all the time, and I know that I don't always do right. I have apologized to my children numerous times over the years for poor parenting skills and other times I have been confident that the way things were handled were proper and needed no apology.
How do I do this thing right, have I gone wrong or is it just a growing phase for us all?
One good thing is I know that my children feel loved and secure and they know they are watched out for and over, they know what is right and what is wrong and they know how to pray and who to seek guidance from.
I desperately want to do this parenting thing right, you know what I mean!

Everyone Drive Carefully..

Saturday night it took me 2.5 hours to drive home from work, it usually takes 45 min. to 1 hour! I was so impressed at how courteous the other driver's were. I heard one of my co-workers complain about how rude the other driver's were and how they laid on their horns. I am happy to say, I did not experience any of this. Everyone drove careful and slow, a bit more cautious than I expected! I did still have white knuckles by the time I returned home, to shovel my way into the drive! Sometimes, Chicago drivers do all right, and in my opinion, on Saturday night after a hefty snow storm and plow trucks not being able to keep up, I was so happy to have made it home in one piece, it was amazing!! Tonight was also crazy, once that sun goes down, everything freezes make it impossible to drive correctly. I watched cars spin around right in front of me, so it took me a little to get home!

Anyway, everyone please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeease be very careful on the roads, leave in plenty of time and remember that arriving late is great as long as you arrive! Slow down and enjoy the season!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, December 17, 2007

My head is going to explode!

Here it is as of today:

I work alllllll of the upcoming holidays! Not til afternoons, but that leaves little time for celebration, like I enjoy with my family. This is what I get for trying to go beyond!

I was and am sooo oooo ooo thankful that I made it home last night, safe and sound. Hindsight says I really should have gotten a hotel room. 2 1/2 hours later after leaving work says I was sooo happy to be home in one piece! I haven't ever prayed with so much intensity while driving! God is GOOD!

It is winter in NW Indiana!

Why did we get rid of the snowplow on the truck? (something about plowing being hard on the truck and damaging it, whatever)

Shoveling is not so much fun, or as my Hubby would say, Not-so-much-so-good!!

I read the sweetest email tonight, it actually made me cry! It was one of those that everyone passes around! I really don't like crying at those!

That reminds me I need to order more meds! I take daily scripts to fight depression and anxiety, I know alot of us are on them and find it to be a good thing. It did take me a long time to admit it is a script I need and that it helps me just to be me. Much of the need is associated with post-traumatic-stress-disorder (everyone can relate). Because I can never know when it is going to hit hard, I am on a strict script for probably the rest of my life. Not something that has been easy to admit. One woman explained it to me as though it were a script for glasses or diabetes meds, and you know she was right, I do need these and I am now ok with saying that!

I have toooooooootally fell off the diet wagon! Exercising is great, but when I am not eating right it sure does take a toll! (The cruise added 3 pounds also).

I am not sure about work, I know I can do it, but I don't know if I will help the employees any better than the supervisor they have! I really believe they have been beat up on for a long time and hope to help rebuild morale, but I am worried that things won't go the way I want!

I sure do love waking up with my children in the morning and helping them to get the right start to their day. This is something I truly miss!

I can always here these words coming out of my mouth: I was a stay-at-home mom for 12 years!!! This is one thing I am sooooooooo proud of.

I just wish I could make my children tell me what is going on all the time! They came home with not so great progress reports and I couldn't help but ask myself: How am I failing them to make them fail? and discovered that they just needed even more strict boundaries, it is not only the parents but also the kids!

Too much rambling sorry! I do have a heavy mind and a very heavy heart! I think we all ask ourselves constantly, "am I doing the right thing?" either for myself, my marriage, my family, my friends, my life!

Gosh, am I the only one who goes through this stupid stuff!?

Friday, December 14, 2007

Reality Hits!

Wow! Reality has hit hard!
Back to everything and add in the Holiday Season, this is crazy!
They have changed my schedule at work, it is supposed to be a better opportunity toward the direction I am heading (dare I say, More TRAINING). My schedule is probably the worst schedule you can ask for! Days off are during the week and I work afternoons, YUK! I will make it through it though. One good thing, I can see my kids get on the bus and the stores aren't as busy during the weekdays and I can also help get the kids to appointments on my days off. I guess you can say it isn't all bad, just weird!

I have met a whole new group of people and am learning to work with them! I hope I get to know them quickly it makes it so much easier when you know people! I have learned that the afternoon shift is very special, they actually share a meal together. What I mean is that instead of spreading out they gather in one area and enjoy dinner together, kind of like a family! One gentleman said to me (a good way of explaining it) it is either enjoy here together or when we get home we eat alone, which one would you prefer!? I thought this was neat. They make the shift work for them, and make the best of a not-so-good shift! I think something like this creates more of a bond or a team atmosphere! I'm sure I will be filling you in as I go!

Oh and by the way, it was like 85 degrees in Mexico, this cold weather is so cooooold it is hard to get used to again! I was only gone 1 week!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

just two days ago..................

I was on a ship in the Pacific in a bathing suit, soaking up the sun!!
The cruise was amazing and only mostly amazing for my husband! The temps were 85 degrees and above (yes yes yes)! We had sunny skies 7 out of the eight days and the one day was just overcast and it was at the end!! We went with my husband's sister and her husband! You can see them in the picture! We have been on a cruise before with them and they are very very good at this "cruising thing". We didn't know too much of what we wanted to do so we hooked on to them and bugged them the entire cruise!! (I would say sorry to Todd and Sherry, but I am not) It was so much fun to be with them and enjoy ourselves!!
In Cabo San Lucas we laid on an amazing beach and did NOTHING!!! It was warm and beautiful! We did also go to Cabo Wabo and enjoy a little!
Then we were on to Mazatlan! Amazing Beach with this little place called Letty's! We laid in lounge chairs on the beach and ate chips and the most amazing guacamole and pico de gallo you have ever tasted in December! A woman that has an apartment in this area showed us to this place and when we got there we found out that Sherry and Todd had already spent an amazing day there! So guess what, we plopped down and totally enjoyed!!!!!!
Next, we were on to Puerto Vallarta!!! This is where we went to Krystals Resort and enjoyed the most amazing "couples massage". 75 minutes of my own massage, full body and my husband had his own! I think I fell asleep, I was sooooooo relaxed! And the price was amazing also!
Next we were back to the ship for my favorite days, "SEA DAYS"! Just lay by the pool and sleep and relax, nobody needs or wants anything from me, they just want to do for me!!!!!! All I had to do was stake my claim on my lounge chair by the pool and relax! Oh yea, did I mention the food? For being on the cruise I was pretty good, I think, or I guess I really didn't care all the food was good and I enjoyed eating every hour on the half hour! The shows were great and being alone with hubby was good too!
Did I mention we met some great people along the way?! (these amazing women were only 3 of 10 that were on an all girls vacation)! The ladies here were making the best of being without children and hubbies, how sad (sarcasm).
Did I mention that we road ATV's on the beach in December and I can drive fine on solid ground but I have never gone ATVin on the beach!!! Oh yes I saved it all four wheels ended up on the ground and mama was fine and lovin it!!!
Now we had a great time not only with just my hubby and I, but absolutely enjoyed being with his sister and brother-in-law!! I think we stressed my brother-in-law out a bit, but I think he got over it!!
Just so you know hubby did get nauseous on the last two days. The Pacific had rough waters those days! I checked on him from time to time and even brought him medicine and he did join us once or twice! For me all the time was an amazing vacation full of rest, for hubby it was mostly amazing and all restful!! I laughed past the point of cheeks hurting everyday! I knew my children were fine and did not worry! It was an awesome vacation and I know that I didn't design it or pick it that way, God had to be involved in this vacation it couldn't have been better for any person with only one week off in two years!!
We shopped a little and played alot, so much fun and so relaxing!!
Today, we both went back to work, it was sooo cold and so YUK!! Back to pursuing career goals!

Sunday, December 2, 2007

24hrs. later

After a cancelled flight and a long dealay! A smushed seat in between my husband and another big man, I am so glad to finally be somwhere WARMER!!
Now on to vacationing with my hubby!
Please pray for our family whil we are away from each other!

I hope my kids have a great week!
I know I will!!!

Friday, November 30, 2007

What's next?!

Toes and nails polished and pretty!
Shoes, Strappy black, hubby picked out, ready
sheets washed for family
Laundry working
house cleaning in the works
airline reservations
hotel reservations
cruise pre boarding complete
Kids week of care planned and ready
What's next............................................?
Oh yea, I need to finish packing, getting there slowly!
Maybe after work tonite I'll get it done!!!
It will be a very busy, sleepless, next 24 hours!
Things keep changing at work and make it difficult for me to get ready properly!
Oh well, packed or not VACATION HERE I COME!!

.........................Oh yea and alone time with hubby, that will be ok too!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Step two in the right direction....

Thanks for all the encouragement! I'll have you know the
Not completed yet, but started!
Pray for more hours in the day, please.............

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

A Step in the right direction....

In my searching to see what I have, clothing and shoe wise, to take on my cruise, I realized I needed a pair of black heels. (Not started packing)
To let you in on a little secret, I have my own personal "what not to wear" person in my home. He has taught me what looks good and the styles that work the best for me. This person is..Yes..You guessed it.....My Hubby!!!
So this morning I set out to buy my shoes. I have limited time I have to work this afternoon. So after getting the kids on the bus I go..................
Department Store... Nothing
Another Department Store, at the mall......I found some and they are on the clearance rack..but they only have the right shoe (guess that won't work)
Back in the car, across the street to a BIG Shoe store...........Nothing
Back in the car down the way another BIG Shoe store............Nothing
Back in the car down the way to a discount department store (where I NEVER find anything).....guess what..........Nothing
Now I'm a little frustrated, Phone call from hubby comes in
H: Did you find any?
M: NO, I found one pair but they can't find the left shoe!
H: Did you go to this Department Store?
M: Yes, and I didn't find anything.
H: Did you see the wedged, black Strappy heels they have, or is it just an Internet buy
M: No, I didn't see those, are they cute?
H: I think so, I can't really tell they are on a model
M: I don't know, I don't remember seeing anything like that.
H: Well they look like they could (his conversation went elsewhere)

After hanging up with him I go back, BACK to the first Department Store and there they are!!

I think he should have just gone out and found my shoes for me, it was just tooooo much trouble and I could have been done an hour before!!

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

No wonder I am going crazy.......

Has it really been a week since my last blog!? Wow! I had no idea, life gets hectic and the first thing to go is the outlet!!

It has been crazy, and I am sure it has been that way for everyone! I had 4 days off, in a row, I haven't had that since I started this job and I loved every minute of it! It was busy and used well but it did end and now I am back at work!!!
Now, I have a cruise in less than 1 week, that I am not even close to being ready for! My husband's bags are packed, clothes ironed, tags made out and waiting by the front door! I don't even know what I am taking or if I have enough and his bags are packed! Maybe when I get home tonight I will begin packing!
Thanksgiving was awesome, we went to my moms and enjoyed a meal with just the 6 of us! I did also remind my mom several times throughout preparing the meal that there is only 6 of us eating, she didn't slow down at all, and needless to say we have been eating Thanksgiving, since Thanksgiving, I think it is all gone now or I am just ignoring it better!

Sunday night we were able to put up the tree, I haven't been able to put my tree up this early in a few years, so this is an accomplishment! I am excited!
Hubby put up the lights on the outside of the house yesterday and he is closer to getting the rest of the decorations out! (I just realized my hubby is accomplishing alot, I wonder what happened)
The words that are ringing in my head are from my childhood and my dad used to say it to us all the time, I am sure some of you were given this line also:
Me: Where are we going dad?
Dad: We're going CRAZY!!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Tales from the Scales Tuesday!!

The tale from my scale said:
That is maintaining for me.
I am at a 14lb loss, have not loss any clothing sizes but I do feel better!!

Goals for next week:
Stay very strict on eating (after all the cruise is less than 2wks away)! Including Thanksgiving!
Workout at least 4 times this week!
Lose 4lbs!? I'll be happy with any loss, so I am setting my goals high this week!

OK those are good goals, I'm happy with them!
Happy Tales from the scales!

Monday, November 19, 2007

Christmas is coming!!

I am a little calmer today, I realized that the Christmas shopping is almost done and I did start to wrap my gifts yesterday! I really do enjoy wrapping the gifts, I have to sit still, it is something that needs to be done and it is almost therapeutic because I can take my time!!
Every year my friend hosts a "wrapping party" and we are all supposed to bring our gifts and help each other wrap, but because I enjoy wrapping I am usually done by the time this party comes around! So I get to help wrap other's gifts! It is fun and a reason to get together, always a good time and it serves a purpose!! Instead of a Christmas Party this is what we do as friends!!
I am getting very excited and can't wait to put out Christmas Decorations, hopefully Friday will work for this!!
How do you and your friends celebrate the holidays?

Sunday, November 18, 2007

How close is Christmas?

I passed a sign yesterday 38 Days Until Christmas (I guess today it is 37) I think I gasped out loud, very loud!!
I used to be done by this time of the year, but not last year or this year!! I think I just figured out gifts last weekend!!When the gifts are purchased early on, then I can take my time wrapping them a making bows and beautifying my home for Christmas. I better get shopping!! I usually enjoy "slowing down" this time of year, it helps me to take time and reflect on the "true meaning of Christmas". I also, enjoy being able to go enjoy friends and the parties and not feeling rushed!! Guess I'll be rushing to get done so I can get in that mode where I want to be!!

Who is already done? How do you spend your holiday season? Do you feel rushed or relaxed?

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Music Program at School

I am not a "cool" mom,
I am the gitty,
crazy waving like crazy, picture snapping, insane mom, in the bleachers!
In my defense, my baby girl was so cute and she wanted nothing to do with it:
It became obvious this evening that she is old enough to embarrass and yes she thinks she is too cool for this kid stuff!
I still loved it, it was by far the cutest music program we have been to. All the songs were about food and silly foods.I didn't know my daughter had so many talents, not only can she play the tambourine, but she can play the water jugs!!! Now that is something to write about!!! Even though baby girl is to cool for it!
She is still awesome a did an awesome job!!!!
As for me, getting back on track... an awesome crazy woman's workout tonight followed by a good dinner and a good blog!! Beginning to feel better and get back to somewhere near normal, where ever that may be!! Thanks for all the well wishing and praying!! I'll be back for tales from the scales tomorrow, when I can weigh in in the morning, for me that is best!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Just call the pizza man......

Some weeks I think that pizza man is on Speed dial!!!!
Windy had a school program tonight, I'll post on that tomorrow. There was a song near the end about pizza and it reminded me how I look to neighbors on garbage day after a week of not cooking:I would never admit it, but I have ordered pizza more than once in one week, maybe more than twice OK more than I would like to admit to anyone!!! I thought this was funny, can anyone relate!!!!

Monday, November 12, 2007

Monday's are not all created the same.......

Monday night, dinner out with hubby at my favorite restaurant. Get to go with a good friend and grill his new girlfriend. In-laws watch all the kids and bed before 9pm! That is a good Monday!!!!

Sunday, November 11, 2007


Trying to get back to normal. Thanks so much to everyone for all the prayers for myself and for others!
I am feeling much much better, still not 100% but still much better. The one thing that I did notice in between all my sleeping was how stinking grouchy I was! A real reminder that I wasn't feeling well and neither me or my body could handle anymore! I did go back in to work on Thursday and I did fine! Now I go back to work Monday morning. Not only do I need to get used to getting up in the early morning again but now I would rather sleep a little later to get through the worst part of the morning. Oh well, such as life and I will get used to days again quickly!!
I tried to move around more this weekend than I had during the week so by Saturday night when I thought I would disappear to my room to watch TV that I wanted to watch, the last thing I remember was the clock saying 9:30 and then I saw the clock this morning around 6AM. So much for watching my TV shows!! Good thing is the "off" button in my butt still works!

Friday, November 9, 2007

Being a Newly Wed Wasn't Always Easy

She walked in the front door and I could see the hurt on her face..maybe she wasn't feeling well? I waited to see if she would tell me what was going on or how she was feeling...
Nothing.....just small talk.
I couldn't wait anymore so I asked, "are you OK, is everything alright?"
her reply was "I'm fine, maybe a little sick"
"OK, if that is all it is, I hope you feel better soon"
Our conversation moves to small talk and silliness, but I can still see hurt in her eyes. All I can think is how can I help? I know that look on her face, I know that in some way I have been in her place, how do you help when someone doesn't want it?
After a while, something in our conversation brought out part of an issue or hurt that was on her mind, so I continue to listen to what is going on this young woman's life. She is a newly wed, very newly wed and should be thrilled and enjoying her new life (not always true, but what I would like to believe). She is truly hurting and feels bad that she is hurting.
My experience as a newly wed was not all peaches and roses either (my memories all come back!) We jump into marriage thinking it is going to be perfect but we need to work at perfection and sometimes it just hurts.
How many times have women been here? Feeling as though maybe we are wrong for having our feelings hurt or being upset by something that happened and not having our feelings validated?
I'm not talking about abuse or abandonment, I am talking about the part of learning to be married and how to deal with each other at first and how it hurts so bad to feel alone in a marriage even though our spouses actually feel alone also!!!
I want to jump in and fix everything for her and I can't all I can do is offer a hug and a few words of advice:
Enjoy a Date night with your Husband.
Keep close friends
Enjoy reading
Enjoy being alone with you (once in a while)
Confide in your husband, do not stop talking to him, love him enough to let him in
Your feelings are real and emotions are a gift
Sometimes husbands don't hear us the same way our friends hear us and it is OK to confide in a good friend!

As a friend to me Pray for my friend, she really is learning how to be a new wife and how to be so many things at once. I almost forgot how hard the first couple years of marriage were until I saw her face, sometimes it really hurts just to have feelings!

I know there were times I wish I could have been numb. However, later in life I am so thankful for those feelings early on and that I wasn't numb and that I didn't toughen up! Thank God

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." (2 Cor. 12:9)

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Back to Work???

Dayquil, cough drops and tea in hand I am going back in to work tonight. No, I am not back to being well, but I am a little better! So here I go! Yes, I am going in on my last midnight for a while! I think I will be fine if I get up and move around. Doc says I can get my flu shot in about two weeks!!! YOU better believe I am so there!!!

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

It is supposed to be Tales from the Scales....

I have been down except to go to work since Sunday!! I even called off or laid off last night (railroaders don't lay off)!! When my temp shot to 103.3 I knew there was an issue. My temp was at 101.4 and I took some Tylenol, thinking that would bring it down, 1 hr later burning up even more I took my temp again and that's when it skyrocketed!! Thank God for good family! My mom and husband have been here both Monday and Tuesday all day!! I holler out for more blankets and suddenly they appear, my 7-up glass stays full and don't ask what the kids are doing cause all I know is that I see them for a split second here and there! Wouldn't you know that I have my appointment to get my flu shot today!!!! I hate that!
Needless to say, I am not weighing in this week, it would not be truthful, if I lost it wouldn't be accurate if I gained it would be because I just lay around except to go to work! The goal for next week is to be able to weigh in and get back on track, feel better and even feel strong enough to workout!!!
At least I do have a Doc appt. today maybe I'll get something to get this thing gone faster!!
A little prayer would help more than anything!

Saturday, November 3, 2007

I told you I had an opinion....

As I said in my previous post, trick or treating and Halloween was fun, a true success!
One thing that came to my mind and truly touched my heart while walking with the kids was the "sense of community" that was displayed and has been displayed each year, I can remember it from my childhood. It is the only time of the year when all the kids or most of the kids and their families come out of their houses at the same time for a short period. As you walk along the streets or hand out candy to all the trick-or-treaters it is a time to catch up with other families, a quick hello or a smile and a nod and what about meeting the new neighbors! This is the only time of year something like this takes place!
It is funny that this year I walked and most years I hand out candy so I saw the other side of it this year. I was amazed and truly blessed by the time spent with my community! The time when I would walk with someone for a while and chat and watch the kids and compliment on their costumes or try to figure out who it was or say hello to the one handing out candy and then move on to the next group and walk with them for a minute and catch up or when I met the new neighbor that I didn't even know moved in or the Grandmas and Grandpas that live in the neighborhood who just wanted to hear a child laugh and run and enjoy them even for a split second! It was a moment of belonging to my neighborhood or part of a community and celebrating community with them! I am one those who will not trick-or-treat in other neighborhoods, we go in our own or to Grandma and Papaw's (where my husband grew up) because it is a time to celebrate life and children with my own community!
Now, I have always allowed my children to trick-or-treat, I have never stopped them and they always enjoy it! There have been years where I have been "beat-up" for allowing my family to join in this thing! I never felt Halloween or trick-or-treating was wrong, I loved it when I was a kid and still love it now! Most years I even dress up. There have been a couple years where I actually missed trick-or-treat in my neighborhood, because of other commitments, but my children never have! I am not sure what all the "hoopla" is over why or why not let kids trick-or-treat. You know, I don't really even enjoy the scary part of Halloween or the blood and guts of it, but some do and for them it is ok, I am not going to tell them how wrong they are for doing it because I don't like it or don't understand why they like it!! This Halloween thing is very normal for me and when I was ridiculed for allowing my family to "celebrate" (GASP) it really didn't make sense, all it did do, was hurt my feelings, because to others that don't like it, I was hurting my children. I remember my son actually said to me (5 yrs ago) "I heard Halloween was the devil's Birthday". I had to back him up and explain to him how it wasn't and we were not "bad people" because we enjoy this! Talk about hurt, as a mom, when my child is hurt, I hurt more!
That all being said, there is definitely a time and a place for everything, I would have never stood up in the middle of a church that preaches against Halloween and say forget family fun night let's go trick or treating, or I am not going to help with that on Halloween, and I wouldn't put it in front of one of my friends who really doesn't like it, I really just wouldn't talk about it, it isn't nice!
If this post did hurt your feelings, that isn't what it was meant for, it was to enlighten on my type of thinking and I don't believe it is right for all!! If it changed the way you think of me, "GET OVER IT" I am still the same person I have been!!
To sum it up, what is right for me may not be right for you or vise versa, but don't beat up on me because I make a different choice!

Thursday, November 1, 2007


So many things to catch up on that I think I am going to "Power Blog"
Here it goes:
Jen at More than a Single Mom has awarded me with this:
And let me just say how honored I am. Like everyone else, I do enjoy winning stuff. To honor the blogging award given to me by More than a Single Mom (I think you should go check her out) I will pass it on to:
M*O*M (Mom on a Mission) she'll make you think, make you laugh, make you cry!!
Milk & Honey (she is the HONEY) Sweet, kind and making you think add a little funny and a ton of Sassy and you have Milk & Honey!!

GOAL!! Well partially, but so taking it as a victory. Broke 180, not by much but down to 179. Didn't make it to the gym at all, so not like me! This crazy shift, is what I am blaming that on! Goal for next week: Going out on a limb: 4lbs. (that will be 175lbs) workout 3 times, 2 times will be an extra good workout! I have not been totally strict and I think I will try it this week, just a little!
Next on the agenda:
Pumpkin contest: Windy and Mitchell both received their awards of 3rd place. Although, I wish I could have gone to the judges and said: My kids thought of this all by themselves and the only way I or anyone could help them was to pour paint! But you can't share that information with the judges! You would think they could tell who created all by themselves and who had help (there is a family category)!
On to Halloween!
Just to get out the pictures. I will post more on this very soon! As you can imagine I have an opinion, a strong opinion and I want to share! It was a good Halloween and who would have ever thought that the Harley Coat I have held on to all these years (1987) would have come in handy!! Still a reason to hold on to it!!
A great Halloween lots of fun, lots of family and a true feeling of community all in one night. One question.... Why doesn't anyone just hand out one piece of candy anymore? It is always a handful!! I am also guilty of this, but when and why did that change? The loot bags were too full, I'll be sharing at work!!
WHEW!!! Now consider that a power blog!! I think I am caught up!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

We can't all be artists?

Do you know what time my kids start school? I obviously don't. I told them not to catch the bus today because I will take you to school. They have the pumpkin decorating contest today and it will be a little difficult to carry them on the bus (plus I want to see all the other kids' creations). As you can imagine, traffic was rough getting home this morning! I was thinking all the time my kids started school at 8:30am, but noooooooooo they start school at 8am sharp!! Why my husband realized (even last night) that they would be late and did not say anything to me about is BEYOND ME!!! So I walk my kids, with pumpkins into school late and the secretary asks "why are they late?" do I answer, because I don't know what time school starts, do I answer because the pumpkins are to big to carry, do I answer traffic, NOPE, I answer "put down whatever you want, I'm tired and they are late," (I am on midnights does that count for anything).
They have worked very hard on their pumpkins and I think they are both winners! I was not allowed to help, except to pour paint and wash my pillow case! In case you can't see there is a pumpkin underneath the pillowcase, and gourds for feet, she is so great and the upper one is a spider, black and white and you can't see all his legs, but did you know he is entered in school spirit? (school colors are black and purple and white and the mascot is a Pirate).
Oh yea they are taking the bus home, pumpkins in all, mama is sleeping til they come home!! Goodnight or good morning (whatever)!

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Wanted to share:

I was reading this post this morning and thought to myself, how many women do this exact thing, we try to figure everything out before hand and sometimes our fear of what may happen holds us back from the true blessing that will happen and do not even try it! I know I want to figure it all out! How about you?

Smile and a headache!

This little boy's words have kept me smiling for a couple of days:

My youngest is going through this nightmare thing and doesn't want to sleep alone! In our house that is not a problem! It seems no one sleeps alone, there is always someone to sleep with! My oldest has no problem sharing his bed or if Ya's wants everyone in her bed (all twin beds so far) they will go and climb in and it is though they really get better rest when they are together! I used to get worried and say "they need to sleep in their own beds" Then I got over it and decided since they really are sleeping well, let it be! It is not unusual to have someone climb in our bed in the middle of the night, like when my alarm goes off for work, I think they hear it and come down and climb in with daddy!! Daddy is a snuggler of his kids! Him and I are more of the cheek to cheek sleepers!!! Anyway back to the making me smile thing: When the kids are having trouble with sleeping or nightmares we usually tell them to pray ask God to help them, and give them good dreams, then we put a Bible under their pillow and it usually helps! My oldest boy used to sleep with his hands on his Bible under his pillow, too sweet! Ya's used to just put the Bible under her pillow and pray and sleep well! The youngest has gone up to three, 3, Bibles under the pillow of wherever he sleeps!!! We pray with him and he falls asleep praying, and he does not sleep alone!! The other night he came up with another solution: "Mommy, maybe if I put a Bible under my pillow and put what I want to dream about under my pillow with my Bible it will help". I reply "sounds like a great idea let's do that". I had no idea he was planning on getting in my bed that night and bringing a rather large, metal, model, toy airplane!! Under the pillow it goes! Sounded like a good idea and his words kept me smiling the past couple of days!

The airplane, knocked me in my noggin a couple of times! I heard it hit the ground when hubby got home, I think the neighbors heard it hit the ground! This is still an ongoing process, we are trying smaller toys now!!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Tales from the Scales Tuesday!!

The tale from my scale was a loss of 1lb. YEA ME!!!!

In case you were wondering...... I got that totally awesome, make a woman feel good workout today, and in only 45 minutes!! Hubby had to be gone (he has a monthly card game with family)! I did it, I went in and began immediately. I think I was breathing heavily and no one wanted to work out around me, but frankly I don't give a dang!!!! I loved it, relieved some stress, hopefully relieved some weight and relieved my mind! Yes, yes, yes a perfect workout!!!

My goal for next week, break 180lbs (oh, my did I post that, did I actually commit that, yes I did) down at least 2lbs. that is a healthy goal. There aren't any crazy dinner plans this weekend, so maybe I can somewhat stay on track!! Maybe some extra food at a card party I may make it to, but other than that things should be easy!!

Can I be completely honest.... It doesn't matter, I have been to this point so I will continue.....
I came home from the gym feeling like "I look good" a total feeling of "I feel sexy" you know what I mean! I don't know if I am feeling the weight loss or if the work out was that good! My stretch jeans are a little baggy maybe that counts as a different fit from my clothes! I'll let you know when they are hanging off of me, cause that is what I am going for!!

More to my goal, workout two time next week, like I did tonight!!!

Happy tales to you!!!!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

What have I said...

Am I the only one that is so tense lately my shoulders are in my ears? Does anyone else feel like this? Oh my goodness, I need an extra hard workout!!! Maybe I can work my shoulders out of my ears!!
I do love this time of year, when it starts to get chilly, not cold, just cool enough for a night fire outside and a good book, a little with the kids and then send them to bed and be alone starring at the fire or my book!! You know what I mean? But, I haven't done this yet!!! I have been doing everything but! Oh and in case you don't know I need a goooooood workout a stress relieving, sweating, hard, crazy woman's workout! The kind where you feel like you are in the gym alone and go strong and leave feeling energized and than have the mostest best night sleep ever!! Does anyone know what I mean or am I just "crazy weird woman, wife, mom? Do you get the whole workout thing?
Just so you know, the next time I wax, I am taking pictures and giving directions! One thing, have it done by a professional first, it gives a much better explanation and then you know what and how you need to do it!! Next time I WAX!

Win some coffee


Monday, October 22, 2007

Hi Honnnneey!!

In the highest pitch possible Ya's would say, when daddy would walk in from work and she would say: HI HONNNeey! My mom reminded me tonight at what she used to call Lary when he came home from work, Yaya was less then 18 months!!

So tonight after work, I could imagine, myself being called Honnnneey!!

Anyway, I did it, I ran the "service track" all alone, all by myself. Ok, so not all alone, I had my assistant General Foreman there to answer my "silly questions".
The gentlemen I work with are awesone, they all did their job and did them extremely well, not on my account, but because they take pride in their work and always do it well. Regardless of why the job was done well and why these are amazing men, thet kept me calm and unstressed all day, and helped me to look like I can handle this position and a little more to do with I have been praying for an entire week about this alone time, and with God's hand I was able to achieve what he has prepared me to do!!! (were yo able to understand what I had just written or did you just need to go over and over and over that to find that I am so thankful for God's help in this position that he even had the men who have been on this job for years help me with this).

I am incredibly thankful for this opportunity and for the reminders of what one of my children used to say!

What an awesome incredible day! Now off to hold the one that doesn't want to be alone and give someone Benadryl and give someone Tylenol and yes I am MOM!!

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Wanted you to know

I have a ton to write/say!! Yep you guessed it, too tired to post it!! Like any other mom, wife, child, or friend, just too dang tired!! Post tomorrow about my wonderful ideas!! (ha ha)!!
Everyone have a wonderful wonderful Saturday night, either sleeping or wide awake!!!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

5 interesting things MEME

I have been tagged with 5 interesting things meme from Crooked Eyebrow. At first I was so excited and now, I'm not so sure! I'll try, I think I have already told you the interesting things about me:

1. I performed in a circus!! Really, really, when I was in high school and until I was pregnant with my first son!! I tried trampoline performance, plate spinning, assisting the girl on the bed of REAL NAILS, but my favorite was when I foot juggled!! I practiced hard and took it serious and even got half way good, I think!!

2. I have worked all parts of the restaurant business, I know you know I went to school to be a chef, but did you know I enjoyed being a waitress, bartender, baking and managing, I totally loved all of it! Being a Bartender was an awesome job, kind of like blogging but with immediate comments and cash. My family still likes sloppy Joe's, hot dogs and shells and cheese from a box! Yes they also enjoy the finer things, I think we have found a good balance, or at least one that makes me comfortable!

3. When I was young, I never wanted to get married and I never wanted children. I am so glad God changes our minds for better!! I think I always thought it would hurt to much!

4. I lived on Hilton Head Island in South Carolina, and would not have returned home, but Larry, my husband asked me to marry him!! Need I say more!

5. I have not shaved in 3 years!!!!

I do wax my eyebrows and my legs, all by myself.

I want to play and keep others playing through this "fun" too much thinking game

So I tag:
Sunny Side of the Street
Take 90 West
Glass Half Full
Let's see if they play!!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Tales from the Scales Tuesday!! (Little Late)

The tale from my scale was.................



So I stayed the same, that is ok. Just happy no gaining was involved!

You should know that I did enjoy a dinner of Wendy's this week and actually said this is good!! (I am surprised myself). It didn't settle in my tummy so good, but it did taste good!!

I also enjoyed some fried Lake Perch, this past weekend, on my date with hubby. One our many favorite restaurants is Schererville Lounge, they have the best, cooked perfect fish!!! Even the crab legs are cooked to perfection. It really is the only place close around here that doesn't overcook seafood unlike the franchised restaurants around here!!

Oh yes, and the exercise, at the gym, was hard to come by this week! Guess there will be weeks like that!

MY GOAL for next week:

Next week will be a loss!!!!

Keeping it simple for next week!!!

Monday, October 15, 2007

I think it is Cool....

I think it is so cool that this blogging thing has been such a good outlet for me. It has created a way to communicate with friends and family I wish I had time to communicate with, and also a way to speak even more freely about how I feel. I think it is neat that I can say, you have a choice to read this so if it is something you don't want to read or comment on don't!!

I think it is so cool that this has created dialogue between people that and things Myself or others would not have talked about before!

I think it is so cool that I have met or at least commented between so many new and amazing people.

I think it is so cool that others seem to speak or write freely about what is going on in their own lives. That others also use it as a venting tool.

I think it is cool that there is USUALLY NOT a mean word in the bunch. The comments are usually encouraging and if someone doesn't agree they try to word it politely and if we don't want to comment, no big whoop!!! (Try having a conversation with nothing to add)!!

I do also think it is so cool that it has opened conversations between myself and others to a new level! Stuff I probably wouldn't have ever spoken out loud (for fear of hurting others) I have and it has created an entirely new level of relationship.

I think it is so cool that I can be sad and weepy one day and post all about it and be happy happy joy joy the next and post on it and most everyone can go with it!!

I think it is cool to be able to journal and find out that others feel the same or not so the same!

I think it is amazing to see so many different people feel the same or different and be honest!!

I think this blogging/new sort of friendship thing is SOOOOOOOOOO COOOOOOL!!!

Thank you everyone for this blogging thing!!

Saturday, October 13, 2007

I cannot believe it has been 20 years.....

So it is October 13, 2007.
20 years ago I lost my sister because someone made the choice to take her life!
Yes, it still hurts, and yes I still miss her! Yes, I think about her daily. We were 13 months apart and even closer as friends and as sisters! I think we shared an awesome relationship. I am thankful for the 15 years I had with her and for her 16 years on the earth!

No, I don't think God did this to me. Yes, I think God worked things for GOOD!!!
So today I kept my family close. Took them shopping and out for lunch for Pizza!! No, the kids didn't know why they weren't allowed to go on with their friends, all they knew was mama wanted them close. My husband knew and my mom who was with us needed this closeness also! I talked with my dad today, he just kept busy, very busy! I know it hurts him and I wanted him with us today, but God had other plans for him and as long as God is keeping him close and Dad is keeping Him (God) close, my dad will be fine!!
We shopped, they bowled, we took pictures, we ate and they acted silly and even got a little serious once!! The dog even got in on it!!
I am still a mom, I am still a wife I am still a child of God I am still a sister to Windy and still a daughter to my mom and dad. I still have so much to be thankful for and so much to look forward to. Life is awesome and can be sad, one thing for sure, God's love is forever and always His love is through it all!!!!!!!
One song kept popping in my head today: Don't Blink There is another one I think of often, it was the song Windy was named after by the Association (an oldy) and always brings tears of joy to my eyes!
I know life would not have ended up the same but I wish she was here to enjoy it with me. I wish I had a sister to share with I wish so many things.... I do not have to wish for the closeness of family and family and friends I think of like sisters and enjoying watching my children call people aunt and know that I absolutely feel they are my sisters and they are their aunts! God can redeem all for good.
I remember my sister's First Communion that meant so much to her, I remember watching her make her Confirmation and her friend Kelly standing in with her, the way she answered the Bishop's questions with confidence! I remember the first time, the only time, she told me she was in love!! I remember my mom teaching her how to drive and laying down in the backseat because it was a little unnerving!!
2o years and not one person can take away memories, I have them and love my memories!! Thank God for Grace and Mercy and Love!!!
Thank you to friends and family who have and continue to pray. Please pray for my mom and dad I want them to make it through the next 10 years with Grace, Mercy and Love only God can Grant!!