This is just an outlet for me, to be able to get my thoughts out! I am a Woman, Wife and Mommy that also works outside the home! Just me trying to make it all work for the best for my family and myself! Just my journey!

Sunday, December 30, 2007

100th Post.......

So this is Post 100 and I didn't know I would stick to blogging this long and still love it!! This is such a great way to keep in touch!
So for 2008 I am believing for so much and so thankful to see a new year!! This is GG with my mother in law and that is something to be thankful for!!

GG is an amazing woman, I guarantee you have never met anyone like her! I have watched her laugh and cry and pray like no one else! When GG speaks to God, you know he is listening! She is one amazing woman. My husband tells stories of his childhood, about GG being there and the woman she is makes me want to be a better woman. You know what I am talking about? Have you ever met anyone like that?

All of these kids drive me in the same direction, to be a better woman, and all those things (mom, wife, friend, person, boss) that go along with being a real woman!
I am sooo thankful for 2007 it was good and goals were met and change was seen and God blessed and the blessings were felt, seen and heard. Now, I am thankful to see what is next, what will be GREAT in 2008!!
Happy New Year to all and enjoy and set goals and reach them and strive towards them and always always find that positive, but don't be afraid to vent the negative, it is a positive!!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Thankful for Christmas Time

I was able to celebrate Christmas with my extended family on the 26th. I really enjoy catching up and finding out how and what everyone is doing!! It has become somewhat of a tradition to have Christmas breakfast with my cousins. We were short a few members this year and I was feeling a little sad about that, it was kind of a tugging the whole day! I really enjoyed when the kids began ripping through there presents and since they are all a little older now, it did not require all of us parents to remind them to say thank you, they did it on there own. So the ripping and they thank youing was a cool sound to hear for a few minutes, a short few minutes.

I also enjoyed the short time I had with my husband, kids and my mom and dad on Christmas morning! Then it was on to make the money!! I was reviewing the pictures my husband took on Christmas Eve and Day and it was just now that I realized how much I really missed working on the holidays, these are not days that I get to chose to work or not to, so I guess I'll be ok! Listening to the kids stories of what happened is really neat too! They really really had a good time this year! I like to believe they were truly thankful for their gifts, but this year they all bought gifts for one another and for mommy and daddy and it was so sweet to watch them, they couldn't wait to give each other gifts!!

Even Buddy, our big black lab, or indoor horse, got a gift (he does every year). This year my husband unwrapped Buddy's gift for him and called him in to give it to him and he took the entire stocking, that was rawhide, and filled with other gifts, and would not put it down or let any of us take it from him to open it!! We finally had to let him outside with the whole thing!! He did bring it back in and allow me to take the treats out of it and began enjoying immediately!! He is a character!!

The big hit this year, for the kids, was the Nintendo DS's they received three of them, one from each Grandparent and they are supposed to share them, turns out they all now have their own!! And plenty of games, they also really like these remote control helicopters but I did find more of the men playing with them than the children! And we did have to get them off the roof more than a couple of times!!

This little guy had a great time and loved all of the gifts he opened and really enjoyed chasing all the older kids around!! He surprised me when he couldn't wait to put on his new Croc Boots, sent by his Auntie Shane and her family!!! I just had to snap a shot!! Next to him are his boots he has been wearing and he likes what he likes!! It was so much fun watching the kids and I really enjoyed it!

I was so thankful to be able to celebrate with family in some way this year, even though, better late than never!!

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to everyone, just a little late!! Hope everyone's Christmas was wonderrrrrrrrful!!! Mine was and continues to be! We will be gathering with more family tomorrow!!

Friday, December 21, 2007

This would have been my choice:

If I could choose how I would spend the days before the holiday, when I have to work the holiday, this would have been it!!
I unexpectedly had the day off when my two younger children had their holiday party at school!
Now, I wasn't commited for being there or anything, which is what made it easy to pop back and forth between classrooms! I didn't commit because when they were planned I still had weekends off! This was so much fun for me, I really enjoyed watching the children interact with the other children in the classroom, they really have made good friends this year, some of them from the past years and a few new ones. On a side note, isn't it funny how when we like the children we also like their parents!!
After their parties, I was able to allow the kids to invite one of their friends over, since there wasn't any homework and let them play!
These crazy kids decided to go play outside!! I had no idea how wet it was out there!! The wet made good packing snow for a few good snowmen!! They laughed and played and enjoyed each other so much I was truly blessed!

I was inside, most of the time and I actually got to bake Christmas cookies, alot of them! This is something I thought I wasn't going to get to do this year!! Yea!!
So this is my Christmas, since it will be a quick one on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day since I need to be at work, but if I had to choose to spend a holiday other than the holiday day this would be it and I didn't get to be involved in the planning of it, it just happened this way. I know that God planned it, but I am so thankful that he didn't include me on the planning, thinking about it would have stressed me out and because of who He is it worked out perfect and even de-stressed me a bit (now that is a word you don't here this time of year)!!!
Somewhere around 25 dozen cookies later, I am on my way to prepare for work!
I hope that all of you are finding a way to enjoy your family this Christmas Season!!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

I thought I was done Christmas Shopping! Ha ha ha

Thank you thank you thank you... your comments from yesterday's post have helped me tremendously. All of them brought tears of joy to me. As I wrote the post my eyes were truly filled with sadness and my heart was very heavy! After I wrote that post I was immediately lightened up and my heart was lifted a bit, but when I read the comments I was brought back up to where I needed to be. I cannot say thank you enough!
My baby girl got an 80% on her test that I was so concerned for, she studied on her recess and was able to ask her friends to help her!! I emailed her teacher to let her know how concerned I was for Ya's and when she emailed me that she received and 80%, one of the highest scores in the class, everyone I work with knew how proud I was. She took responsibility seriously and succeeded!
My baby boy came home and immediately told Nana of a Math test he thinks he has done well on! Nana called me at work and suddenly I felt as though I was doing right again and that this is a phase and that "this too shall pass" I was a strong, proud mama again!
The baby is just concerned about the Christmas Party, I mean Holiday Party coming up at school tomorrow and does not get the grab bag gift exchange idea at all. No matter how many times I explained it he wanted to give his gift to one certain student. I finally told him it will go in a bag and everyone will pick and whoever gets it gets it and now I think he gets it!!
I know I told you Christmas shopping was done, remember! There was still one gift to purchase but Larry would not let me get it until Christmas was closer because "electronics go on sale right before Christmas" so I waited and now the buying is back on!! Hubby took the day off to be with me today and go get the one gift we needed and now we are almost done again!!!! This happens every year! I spend and purchase and get what we are getting for the kids and I am very very reasonable in my purchasing. Until today the two younger children had about $60 in gifts a good job on my part. I was not going to over do it! That has all changed, Daddy went shopping!! Now the gift amount is to high to admit but it is done AGAIN!! I certainly enjoyed Larry today, I am so glad he took the day off to be with me it was so good and soooooooo what I needed! I really do like spending time with him!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Probably sharing way to much..........

I cannot stand that being a parent, I always wonder if I am doing the right thing and if I did something wrong in the way I raise my children. Does anyone else go through this?
I find myself asking myself these questions all the time:
Did I do to much?
Do I not do enough?
Is that punishment right?
Do they really understand how much I love them, do I show it enough?
Did I go back to work to soon or not soon enough?
Why do I explode at them at times, is that part of the reasons we are having issues right now?
How can I make them "get" responsibility?
How do I get them to communicate more, about school stuff?
I know my kids trust me, they tell me really personal stuff and we are able to talk through just about everything. But, what happened with school, is this just a phase? Will they grow out of it?
I pray for my children constantly and I pray for Larry and I as parents, I seek guidance. That should be enough right? I'm not sure if I am doing this parenting thing right and I hate not being sure! I feel so weak in strength right now, I am usually a very confident parent, but don't feel that way right now.
I just wish I had this parenting "thing" down. I follow my manual (my Bible) and try to do right all the time, and I know that I don't always do right. I have apologized to my children numerous times over the years for poor parenting skills and other times I have been confident that the way things were handled were proper and needed no apology.
How do I do this thing right, have I gone wrong or is it just a growing phase for us all?
One good thing is I know that my children feel loved and secure and they know they are watched out for and over, they know what is right and what is wrong and they know how to pray and who to seek guidance from.
I desperately want to do this parenting thing right, you know what I mean!

Everyone Drive Carefully..

Saturday night it took me 2.5 hours to drive home from work, it usually takes 45 min. to 1 hour! I was so impressed at how courteous the other driver's were. I heard one of my co-workers complain about how rude the other driver's were and how they laid on their horns. I am happy to say, I did not experience any of this. Everyone drove careful and slow, a bit more cautious than I expected! I did still have white knuckles by the time I returned home, to shovel my way into the drive! Sometimes, Chicago drivers do all right, and in my opinion, on Saturday night after a hefty snow storm and plow trucks not being able to keep up, I was so happy to have made it home in one piece, it was amazing!! Tonight was also crazy, once that sun goes down, everything freezes make it impossible to drive correctly. I watched cars spin around right in front of me, so it took me a little to get home!

Anyway, everyone please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeease be very careful on the roads, leave in plenty of time and remember that arriving late is great as long as you arrive! Slow down and enjoy the season!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, December 17, 2007

My head is going to explode!

Here it is as of today:

I work alllllll of the upcoming holidays! Not til afternoons, but that leaves little time for celebration, like I enjoy with my family. This is what I get for trying to go beyond!

I was and am sooo oooo ooo thankful that I made it home last night, safe and sound. Hindsight says I really should have gotten a hotel room. 2 1/2 hours later after leaving work says I was sooo happy to be home in one piece! I haven't ever prayed with so much intensity while driving! God is GOOD!

It is winter in NW Indiana!

Why did we get rid of the snowplow on the truck? (something about plowing being hard on the truck and damaging it, whatever)

Shoveling is not so much fun, or as my Hubby would say, Not-so-much-so-good!!

I read the sweetest email tonight, it actually made me cry! It was one of those that everyone passes around! I really don't like crying at those!

That reminds me I need to order more meds! I take daily scripts to fight depression and anxiety, I know alot of us are on them and find it to be a good thing. It did take me a long time to admit it is a script I need and that it helps me just to be me. Much of the need is associated with post-traumatic-stress-disorder (everyone can relate). Because I can never know when it is going to hit hard, I am on a strict script for probably the rest of my life. Not something that has been easy to admit. One woman explained it to me as though it were a script for glasses or diabetes meds, and you know she was right, I do need these and I am now ok with saying that!

I have toooooooootally fell off the diet wagon! Exercising is great, but when I am not eating right it sure does take a toll! (The cruise added 3 pounds also).

I am not sure about work, I know I can do it, but I don't know if I will help the employees any better than the supervisor they have! I really believe they have been beat up on for a long time and hope to help rebuild morale, but I am worried that things won't go the way I want!

I sure do love waking up with my children in the morning and helping them to get the right start to their day. This is something I truly miss!

I can always here these words coming out of my mouth: I was a stay-at-home mom for 12 years!!! This is one thing I am sooooooooo proud of.

I just wish I could make my children tell me what is going on all the time! They came home with not so great progress reports and I couldn't help but ask myself: How am I failing them to make them fail? and discovered that they just needed even more strict boundaries, it is not only the parents but also the kids!

Too much rambling sorry! I do have a heavy mind and a very heavy heart! I think we all ask ourselves constantly, "am I doing the right thing?" either for myself, my marriage, my family, my friends, my life!

Gosh, am I the only one who goes through this stupid stuff!?

Friday, December 14, 2007

Reality Hits!

Wow! Reality has hit hard!
Back to everything and add in the Holiday Season, this is crazy!
They have changed my schedule at work, it is supposed to be a better opportunity toward the direction I am heading (dare I say, More TRAINING). My schedule is probably the worst schedule you can ask for! Days off are during the week and I work afternoons, YUK! I will make it through it though. One good thing, I can see my kids get on the bus and the stores aren't as busy during the weekdays and I can also help get the kids to appointments on my days off. I guess you can say it isn't all bad, just weird!

I have met a whole new group of people and am learning to work with them! I hope I get to know them quickly it makes it so much easier when you know people! I have learned that the afternoon shift is very special, they actually share a meal together. What I mean is that instead of spreading out they gather in one area and enjoy dinner together, kind of like a family! One gentleman said to me (a good way of explaining it) it is either enjoy here together or when we get home we eat alone, which one would you prefer!? I thought this was neat. They make the shift work for them, and make the best of a not-so-good shift! I think something like this creates more of a bond or a team atmosphere! I'm sure I will be filling you in as I go!

Oh and by the way, it was like 85 degrees in Mexico, this cold weather is so cooooold it is hard to get used to again! I was only gone 1 week!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

just two days ago..................

I was on a ship in the Pacific in a bathing suit, soaking up the sun!!
The cruise was amazing and only mostly amazing for my husband! The temps were 85 degrees and above (yes yes yes)! We had sunny skies 7 out of the eight days and the one day was just overcast and it was at the end!! We went with my husband's sister and her husband! You can see them in the picture! We have been on a cruise before with them and they are very very good at this "cruising thing". We didn't know too much of what we wanted to do so we hooked on to them and bugged them the entire cruise!! (I would say sorry to Todd and Sherry, but I am not) It was so much fun to be with them and enjoy ourselves!!
In Cabo San Lucas we laid on an amazing beach and did NOTHING!!! It was warm and beautiful! We did also go to Cabo Wabo and enjoy a little!
Then we were on to Mazatlan! Amazing Beach with this little place called Letty's! We laid in lounge chairs on the beach and ate chips and the most amazing guacamole and pico de gallo you have ever tasted in December! A woman that has an apartment in this area showed us to this place and when we got there we found out that Sherry and Todd had already spent an amazing day there! So guess what, we plopped down and totally enjoyed!!!!!!
Next, we were on to Puerto Vallarta!!! This is where we went to Krystals Resort and enjoyed the most amazing "couples massage". 75 minutes of my own massage, full body and my husband had his own! I think I fell asleep, I was sooooooo relaxed! And the price was amazing also!
Next we were back to the ship for my favorite days, "SEA DAYS"! Just lay by the pool and sleep and relax, nobody needs or wants anything from me, they just want to do for me!!!!!! All I had to do was stake my claim on my lounge chair by the pool and relax! Oh yea, did I mention the food? For being on the cruise I was pretty good, I think, or I guess I really didn't care all the food was good and I enjoyed eating every hour on the half hour! The shows were great and being alone with hubby was good too!
Did I mention we met some great people along the way?! (these amazing women were only 3 of 10 that were on an all girls vacation)! The ladies here were making the best of being without children and hubbies, how sad (sarcasm).
Did I mention that we road ATV's on the beach in December and I can drive fine on solid ground but I have never gone ATVin on the beach!!! Oh yes I saved it all four wheels ended up on the ground and mama was fine and lovin it!!!
Now we had a great time not only with just my hubby and I, but absolutely enjoyed being with his sister and brother-in-law!! I think we stressed my brother-in-law out a bit, but I think he got over it!!
Just so you know hubby did get nauseous on the last two days. The Pacific had rough waters those days! I checked on him from time to time and even brought him medicine and he did join us once or twice! For me all the time was an amazing vacation full of rest, for hubby it was mostly amazing and all restful!! I laughed past the point of cheeks hurting everyday! I knew my children were fine and did not worry! It was an awesome vacation and I know that I didn't design it or pick it that way, God had to be involved in this vacation it couldn't have been better for any person with only one week off in two years!!
We shopped a little and played alot, so much fun and so relaxing!!
Today, we both went back to work, it was sooo cold and so YUK!! Back to pursuing career goals!

Sunday, December 2, 2007

24hrs. later

After a cancelled flight and a long dealay! A smushed seat in between my husband and another big man, I am so glad to finally be somwhere WARMER!!
Now on to vacationing with my hubby!
Please pray for our family whil we are away from each other!

I hope my kids have a great week!
I know I will!!!