This is just an outlet for me, to be able to get my thoughts out! I am a Woman, Wife and Mommy that also works outside the home! Just me trying to make it all work for the best for my family and myself! Just my journey!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

We can't all be artists?

Do you know what time my kids start school? I obviously don't. I told them not to catch the bus today because I will take you to school. They have the pumpkin decorating contest today and it will be a little difficult to carry them on the bus (plus I want to see all the other kids' creations). As you can imagine, traffic was rough getting home this morning! I was thinking all the time my kids started school at 8:30am, but noooooooooo they start school at 8am sharp!! Why my husband realized (even last night) that they would be late and did not say anything to me about is BEYOND ME!!! So I walk my kids, with pumpkins into school late and the secretary asks "why are they late?" do I answer, because I don't know what time school starts, do I answer because the pumpkins are to big to carry, do I answer traffic, NOPE, I answer "put down whatever you want, I'm tired and they are late," (I am on midnights does that count for anything).
They have worked very hard on their pumpkins and I think they are both winners! I was not allowed to help, except to pour paint and wash my pillow case! In case you can't see there is a pumpkin underneath the pillowcase, and gourds for feet, she is so great and the upper one is a spider, black and white and you can't see all his legs, but did you know he is entered in school spirit? (school colors are black and purple and white and the mascot is a Pirate).
Oh yea they are taking the bus home, pumpkins in all, mama is sleeping til they come home!! Goodnight or good morning (whatever)!

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Wanted to share:

I was reading this post this morning and thought to myself, how many women do this exact thing, we try to figure everything out before hand and sometimes our fear of what may happen holds us back from the true blessing that will happen and do not even try it! I know I want to figure it all out! How about you?

Smile and a headache!

This little boy's words have kept me smiling for a couple of days:

My youngest is going through this nightmare thing and doesn't want to sleep alone! In our house that is not a problem! It seems no one sleeps alone, there is always someone to sleep with! My oldest has no problem sharing his bed or if Ya's wants everyone in her bed (all twin beds so far) they will go and climb in and it is though they really get better rest when they are together! I used to get worried and say "they need to sleep in their own beds" Then I got over it and decided since they really are sleeping well, let it be! It is not unusual to have someone climb in our bed in the middle of the night, like when my alarm goes off for work, I think they hear it and come down and climb in with daddy!! Daddy is a snuggler of his kids! Him and I are more of the cheek to cheek sleepers!!! Anyway back to the making me smile thing: When the kids are having trouble with sleeping or nightmares we usually tell them to pray ask God to help them, and give them good dreams, then we put a Bible under their pillow and it usually helps! My oldest boy used to sleep with his hands on his Bible under his pillow, too sweet! Ya's used to just put the Bible under her pillow and pray and sleep well! The youngest has gone up to three, 3, Bibles under the pillow of wherever he sleeps!!! We pray with him and he falls asleep praying, and he does not sleep alone!! The other night he came up with another solution: "Mommy, maybe if I put a Bible under my pillow and put what I want to dream about under my pillow with my Bible it will help". I reply "sounds like a great idea let's do that". I had no idea he was planning on getting in my bed that night and bringing a rather large, metal, model, toy airplane!! Under the pillow it goes! Sounded like a good idea and his words kept me smiling the past couple of days!

The airplane, knocked me in my noggin a couple of times! I heard it hit the ground when hubby got home, I think the neighbors heard it hit the ground! This is still an ongoing process, we are trying smaller toys now!!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Tales from the Scales Tuesday!!

The tale from my scale was a loss of 1lb. YEA ME!!!!

In case you were wondering...... I got that totally awesome, make a woman feel good workout today, and in only 45 minutes!! Hubby had to be gone (he has a monthly card game with family)! I did it, I went in and began immediately. I think I was breathing heavily and no one wanted to work out around me, but frankly I don't give a dang!!!! I loved it, relieved some stress, hopefully relieved some weight and relieved my mind! Yes, yes, yes a perfect workout!!!

My goal for next week, break 180lbs (oh, my did I post that, did I actually commit that, yes I did) down at least 2lbs. that is a healthy goal. There aren't any crazy dinner plans this weekend, so maybe I can somewhat stay on track!! Maybe some extra food at a card party I may make it to, but other than that things should be easy!!

Can I be completely honest.... It doesn't matter, I have been to this point so I will continue.....
I came home from the gym feeling like "I look good" a total feeling of "I feel sexy" you know what I mean! I don't know if I am feeling the weight loss or if the work out was that good! My stretch jeans are a little baggy maybe that counts as a different fit from my clothes! I'll let you know when they are hanging off of me, cause that is what I am going for!!

More to my goal, workout two time next week, like I did tonight!!!

Happy tales to you!!!!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

What have I said...

Am I the only one that is so tense lately my shoulders are in my ears? Does anyone else feel like this? Oh my goodness, I need an extra hard workout!!! Maybe I can work my shoulders out of my ears!!
I do love this time of year, when it starts to get chilly, not cold, just cool enough for a night fire outside and a good book, a little with the kids and then send them to bed and be alone starring at the fire or my book!! You know what I mean? But, I haven't done this yet!!! I have been doing everything but! Oh and in case you don't know I need a goooooood workout a stress relieving, sweating, hard, crazy woman's workout! The kind where you feel like you are in the gym alone and go strong and leave feeling energized and than have the mostest best night sleep ever!! Does anyone know what I mean or am I just "crazy weird woman, wife, mom? Do you get the whole workout thing?
Just so you know, the next time I wax, I am taking pictures and giving directions! One thing, have it done by a professional first, it gives a much better explanation and then you know what and how you need to do it!! Next time I WAX!

Win some coffee


Monday, October 22, 2007

Hi Honnnneey!!

In the highest pitch possible Ya's would say, when daddy would walk in from work and she would say: HI HONNNeey! My mom reminded me tonight at what she used to call Lary when he came home from work, Yaya was less then 18 months!!

So tonight after work, I could imagine, myself being called Honnnneey!!

Anyway, I did it, I ran the "service track" all alone, all by myself. Ok, so not all alone, I had my assistant General Foreman there to answer my "silly questions".
The gentlemen I work with are awesone, they all did their job and did them extremely well, not on my account, but because they take pride in their work and always do it well. Regardless of why the job was done well and why these are amazing men, thet kept me calm and unstressed all day, and helped me to look like I can handle this position and a little more to do with I have been praying for an entire week about this alone time, and with God's hand I was able to achieve what he has prepared me to do!!! (were yo able to understand what I had just written or did you just need to go over and over and over that to find that I am so thankful for God's help in this position that he even had the men who have been on this job for years help me with this).

I am incredibly thankful for this opportunity and for the reminders of what one of my children used to say!

What an awesome incredible day! Now off to hold the one that doesn't want to be alone and give someone Benadryl and give someone Tylenol and yes I am MOM!!

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Wanted you to know

I have a ton to write/say!! Yep you guessed it, too tired to post it!! Like any other mom, wife, child, or friend, just too dang tired!! Post tomorrow about my wonderful ideas!! (ha ha)!!
Everyone have a wonderful wonderful Saturday night, either sleeping or wide awake!!!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

5 interesting things MEME

I have been tagged with 5 interesting things meme from Crooked Eyebrow. At first I was so excited and now, I'm not so sure! I'll try, I think I have already told you the interesting things about me:

1. I performed in a circus!! Really, really, when I was in high school and until I was pregnant with my first son!! I tried trampoline performance, plate spinning, assisting the girl on the bed of REAL NAILS, but my favorite was when I foot juggled!! I practiced hard and took it serious and even got half way good, I think!!

2. I have worked all parts of the restaurant business, I know you know I went to school to be a chef, but did you know I enjoyed being a waitress, bartender, baking and managing, I totally loved all of it! Being a Bartender was an awesome job, kind of like blogging but with immediate comments and cash. My family still likes sloppy Joe's, hot dogs and shells and cheese from a box! Yes they also enjoy the finer things, I think we have found a good balance, or at least one that makes me comfortable!

3. When I was young, I never wanted to get married and I never wanted children. I am so glad God changes our minds for better!! I think I always thought it would hurt to much!

4. I lived on Hilton Head Island in South Carolina, and would not have returned home, but Larry, my husband asked me to marry him!! Need I say more!

5. I have not shaved in 3 years!!!!

I do wax my eyebrows and my legs, all by myself.

I want to play and keep others playing through this "fun" too much thinking game

So I tag:
Sunny Side of the Street
Take 90 West
Glass Half Full
Let's see if they play!!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Tales from the Scales Tuesday!! (Little Late)

The tale from my scale was.................



So I stayed the same, that is ok. Just happy no gaining was involved!

You should know that I did enjoy a dinner of Wendy's this week and actually said this is good!! (I am surprised myself). It didn't settle in my tummy so good, but it did taste good!!

I also enjoyed some fried Lake Perch, this past weekend, on my date with hubby. One our many favorite restaurants is Schererville Lounge, they have the best, cooked perfect fish!!! Even the crab legs are cooked to perfection. It really is the only place close around here that doesn't overcook seafood unlike the franchised restaurants around here!!

Oh yes, and the exercise, at the gym, was hard to come by this week! Guess there will be weeks like that!

MY GOAL for next week:

Next week will be a loss!!!!

Keeping it simple for next week!!!

Monday, October 15, 2007

I think it is Cool....

I think it is so cool that this blogging thing has been such a good outlet for me. It has created a way to communicate with friends and family I wish I had time to communicate with, and also a way to speak even more freely about how I feel. I think it is neat that I can say, you have a choice to read this so if it is something you don't want to read or comment on don't!!

I think it is so cool that this has created dialogue between people that and things Myself or others would not have talked about before!

I think it is so cool that I have met or at least commented between so many new and amazing people.

I think it is so cool that others seem to speak or write freely about what is going on in their own lives. That others also use it as a venting tool.

I think it is cool that there is USUALLY NOT a mean word in the bunch. The comments are usually encouraging and if someone doesn't agree they try to word it politely and if we don't want to comment, no big whoop!!! (Try having a conversation with nothing to add)!!

I do also think it is so cool that it has opened conversations between myself and others to a new level! Stuff I probably wouldn't have ever spoken out loud (for fear of hurting others) I have and it has created an entirely new level of relationship.

I think it is so cool that I can be sad and weepy one day and post all about it and be happy happy joy joy the next and post on it and most everyone can go with it!!

I think it is cool to be able to journal and find out that others feel the same or not so the same!

I think it is amazing to see so many different people feel the same or different and be honest!!

I think this blogging/new sort of friendship thing is SOOOOOOOOOO COOOOOOL!!!

Thank you everyone for this blogging thing!!

Saturday, October 13, 2007

I cannot believe it has been 20 years.....

So it is October 13, 2007.
20 years ago I lost my sister because someone made the choice to take her life!
Yes, it still hurts, and yes I still miss her! Yes, I think about her daily. We were 13 months apart and even closer as friends and as sisters! I think we shared an awesome relationship. I am thankful for the 15 years I had with her and for her 16 years on the earth!

No, I don't think God did this to me. Yes, I think God worked things for GOOD!!!
So today I kept my family close. Took them shopping and out for lunch for Pizza!! No, the kids didn't know why they weren't allowed to go on with their friends, all they knew was mama wanted them close. My husband knew and my mom who was with us needed this closeness also! I talked with my dad today, he just kept busy, very busy! I know it hurts him and I wanted him with us today, but God had other plans for him and as long as God is keeping him close and Dad is keeping Him (God) close, my dad will be fine!!
We shopped, they bowled, we took pictures, we ate and they acted silly and even got a little serious once!! The dog even got in on it!!
I am still a mom, I am still a wife I am still a child of God I am still a sister to Windy and still a daughter to my mom and dad. I still have so much to be thankful for and so much to look forward to. Life is awesome and can be sad, one thing for sure, God's love is forever and always His love is through it all!!!!!!!
One song kept popping in my head today: Don't Blink There is another one I think of often, it was the song Windy was named after by the Association (an oldy) and always brings tears of joy to my eyes!
I know life would not have ended up the same but I wish she was here to enjoy it with me. I wish I had a sister to share with I wish so many things.... I do not have to wish for the closeness of family and family and friends I think of like sisters and enjoying watching my children call people aunt and know that I absolutely feel they are my sisters and they are their aunts! God can redeem all for good.
I remember my sister's First Communion that meant so much to her, I remember watching her make her Confirmation and her friend Kelly standing in with her, the way she answered the Bishop's questions with confidence! I remember the first time, the only time, she told me she was in love!! I remember my mom teaching her how to drive and laying down in the backseat because it was a little unnerving!!
2o years and not one person can take away memories, I have them and love my memories!! Thank God for Grace and Mercy and Love!!!
Thank you to friends and family who have and continue to pray. Please pray for my mom and dad I want them to make it through the next 10 years with Grace, Mercy and Love only God can Grant!!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

I am getting ready to sit and chill with hubby!!!

Just wanted you to try this contest:
Think first
Jenny from Chicago is giving away a $100 gift certificate to TARGET for T-shirt ideas!! I think you should go there and try to win it!!!!!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007


I find myself pondering on the "what could have been" these days. October 13th will be the 20 year anniversary of losing my sister. So many times it doesn't phase me and so many times it does. I'll continue to explain in my next postings, since this seems to be on my mind lately.

Would I be married to Larry?

Would I have the same children?

If yes to these, would they have cousins from their Aunt Windy?

Where would she live, and would she be married?

Would she have really gone to college for Photography and where?

How many things worked to the better or worse because of this?

Many more questions I have, but most days I don't even ask, because this is what it is and it is!!

Let me explain a little more:

The day we had Windy's funeral, I can remember collapsing in my chair at the cemetery. I instantly, the day she was murdered, stopped believing there could be a God. Because I stopped believing in God or any faith the day we buried her body, I had to believe that that was the end. That was very hard to swallow, I had made my choice though (at that time)and there was nooooo Happily ever after, it was done and over. I was 15 and my sister was 16.

Since then and through plenty of prayer, mine and others (the others don't even know how much their prayer worked), I see the Happily ever after. That there are choices and that we suffer the consequences for choices our choices and other peoples choices.

I guess what I am trying to say is that God, The Holy Spirit, Jesus, The Father, The Son, are all gentlemen and they don't force faith on us. They gently guide us, if we are willing. They wait for the call of help by us and the willingness to accept the help. I honestly believe that people suffer because of the choices other people make for themselves. I also believe that God can make all things good, that every good and perfect gift comes from Him, and it is not always something good to something good, it can be that what one meant to Hurt God can turn to good. Yes, yes, yes the pain in my heart is real but I know that Windy knows how much I love her and how things would not have turned out the same, life would be different, better or worse, I don't know, just different!!

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

TIME OUT!! Tales from the Scales!!

This month seems to be a little difficult for me!
We are used to celebrating anniversaries
and they are not always good!!!


The Tale from my Scale said:

I lost 1lb. this week!!

Still not ready to show pictures,
but if you really want to see,
go to Crooked Eyebrow or
I should be folding Laundry
and see a few pictures and what a
good "bloggy meet-up" we had!!!

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Tales from the Scales Tuesday!!

Alrighty, so it has been a good week, I have chosen to eat a couple of things "not on the menu", but I was able to eat them in controlled amounts!! I refuse to give in. The scale numbers are still going down, even though I do not see a physical difference, yet!! So the weigh in you ask..............................................................................................................

2 Pounds!!!!!

That is a total of 10 pounds!!!!!!!!!

I really do not see a physical difference. I knew this would happen, the last time I supposedly lost weight, everyone else noticed except me!! I just don't see a change in the mirror right away or I have to good of a body image that I do not see the truth. I can see the weight on me when I look at pictures, but I am not ready to post weight loss pictures just yet, give me some time!!

I did not make it to the gym this week, not very like me. I really, really enjoy going to the gym and have always used the gym for more of a therapy. I use it to fight depression and clear my head, you know, get my thoughts in order. It helps me to sleep well at night and awake rested, OK I could go on and on! So to get to the point I will be making more than zero trips to the gym this week and if I can't go I will walk with the dog and kids like I did yesterday!!

I am still committed and staying away from the fast food!!!!!!

Monday, October 1, 2007


Thanks so much to everyone for their wonderful thoughts (posts) and prayers. I know this is why I was able to pull myself up and keep going. I didn't mean to get so heavy or down, it just sort of happened! God is the source of my strength and I am thankful for family, friends and b
I was recently asked, by my husband, why I call Windy, Grace, from time to time. I couldn't believe he didn't know!! I'll tell you in a minute. Windy has a few other names:

Yaya: the ever popular and been around the longest. She gave this one to herself when she was an infant. Daddy would come home from work and say hello or something and she would say (babble) yaya and he would reply yaya and our friend started calling her Yaya and it has stuck!! Although it has been shortened to Yas!!!

Katie: Her middle name is Kay, after her Grandma, and Grandma's sisters call her Katie. (That one was simple)

and now:

GRACE: This started out as the old "Goodnight Gracie". One night when I was praying with Yas (short for yaya) I was praying for the young lady she would be and decided she would be GRACEFUL. And now I call her Grace in front of people because I believe, not only will she be a polite, gorgeous and successful and bright young lady, she will also be full of Grace!!!! I could never give you all the definitions of Grace so use the link scroll down to Gracelike!!