This is just an outlet for me, to be able to get my thoughts out! I am a Woman, Wife and Mommy that also works outside the home! Just me trying to make it all work for the best for my family and myself! Just my journey!

Monday, March 30, 2009

Mama's Going to Work

So I am leaving for work, on a "typical" Friday night. I am headed out and waiting for my lovins! Instead I had to go grab the camera to show you what they, honestly, tried!!
I say to the older dog, "Bye Buddy, Mama's going to work." I can forgive him, he is hurt, hurt bad and he doesn't walk very well right now! Mama gets over it and moves on! I do move on, I really move on!

Hey Babe, I'm leavin for work now! He replies, "by mommy"!! OH to kill him or not! Mama is going to work, a choice we both made, and your not going to get up off the couch, or even
out from underneath the dog to kiss me good bye!
Ok, Larbo is hurt and he is hurt bad! I really am just happy to see him smile! I would love for him to shove this dog aside for a moment to give me a "real" kiss good bye! Not one of those stupid pecks and not one of those see ya later kisses. A real kiss and a real hug. something that says, this is for us and I believe in you kisses!! OH yea all you wives know what I am talking about, even if you are just going out for the evening, it is one of those true love kisses with a hug! Had to pull it out of him! UGGGHHH!

But when these three followed suit and Hanky! Oh Mama let them know, this is not tolerated and will not happen. Of course, I grabbed the camera first! I took pics and then I told them what I wanted!! Don't get me wrong, it was probably that they were enjoying watching some movie with daddy and both the dogs were hanging out! I was probably, I mean, I was jealous! I had to go to work and they were enjoying one another! At the same point, thankfully, they were all happy to be together on a Friday night! Love it, Hate it, love it way more!!!

Friday, March 27, 2009

Trying to Remember

Adam used to say:

I hermember! (REMEMBER)

Pay a pention! (pay attention)

Windy used to say:

Hi Honey! (When Daddy walked in the door from work)

Yaya!! (when daddy would come in from work, with his friend Tony, who was living with a the time! And Daddy would repeat Yaya and Tony would repeat Yaya and Windy would repeat Yaya she wasn't even 1 yet!)

Still trying to remember what Mitchell's words were!
I do remember when we were out ANYWHERE! Mitchell was a little older 15 months, he would walk around, kiss everyone goodbye, put everything back in his diaper bag and bring us his shoes and coat! He was ready to go HOME!
We obliged! Because if we didn't there wasn't any calming him down!
Goes to show, why even today, he just doesn't like to sleep away from home and counts on all of us to make sure he doesn't sleep alone!

Funny part is: Adam is the one we had to work on sleeping well and getting out of our bed, Windy has always slept well no matter if she was alone or with someone (just move out of her way, cause she will sleep well at anyone's expense) and Mitchell sleeps well ONLY when sleeping with one of us, doesn't matter if it is Larry or Larry and I or Windy or Adam or Grandma or Papaw or Nana or Grandpa Pat, he just doesn't want to sleep alone!

3 different kids, 3 very different personalities and one Mama trying to put it all on paper!

Loving it!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Baby J...

WOW! Where does the time go.
This is our Baby "J". She just turned 17! Oh my, I remember the day she was born, I remember the call I got when I was in South Carolina! Baby Girl was born.

At that moment, not only did my perspective on life change, but the perspective of my cousins!
We were in awe of her, she truly took our breath away, from that very moment she was born!
Her Mom probably has a different story (something about being in labor for ever or something like that)!
But from being one of those that just watched, this is what she did for me: Jordan, immediately changed me and my outlook on life! Her life offered hope, Love and passion for life!
From the moment she hit the world, I started loving, really loving, life again!
I couldn't wait to get the next picture of her, in the mail! I couldn't wait to get home, in June, to hold her! I listened intently to the stories her mom and Auntie Shane would tell.
Oh wow, don't get me wrong she has also taught us of the stress a child brings on. I wouldn't trade it for the world!
Bigger than that she has given all of us an awesome amount of hope and true life!
She was the one who brought the smile back in our life!

I don't think I smiled ear to ear until the moment I received her picture in the mail! I heard about her birth and it did make me happy, but wow oh wow, when I saw her First Picture I was touched and changed!
Throughout time, she taught about the amazement and the fun of being there for the "firsts"! First steps, first bad action (I think we taught her that), first word (we repeated "mamamammamama" over and over to her, to ensure that Mama would be her first word), First time jumping on the bed (oh yea, I am sure, that Aunts and Uncles-to-be taught her that), the first bad word (we can blame that on Uncle Who), first (stupid) boyfriend, first formal dance, first one to have a drivers permit! Wowowowowoow!
Right into being our first teenager! Wow, oh wow! Makes you crazy just thinking about it! Truth is Jordan has been inspiration from the moment her Mama told us she was going to be coming! I so wish I had baby pics of her to post, but I have to buy a scanner! STINKY!!
She was the one who gave Larry his loving name: Uncle Bobo! He loves it! Adores it! We tried to get her to say Uncle Larbo and that's what she said! We both love it, Larry is Uncle Bobo to this day to those that love him as an uncle! I am Auntie Pizza!
One night, while staying the night with me and Larry, while I did live at home with my mom, she was really trying to say my name! We all tried, Aunt April, Phil, me, Uncle Bobo and Phillip tried to figure out what this precious Baby J wanted. When I think she put her point across and now I am Auntie Pizza! I love it!
I wouldn't trade any moment of it! From the moment she was born until today, she has had alot of pressure on her and for the most part, handles it well!
Please pray that she handles all of life's challenges ahead of her as she needs to, that she learns from the mistakes life has taught her and that she continues to "grab the bull by the horns" and takes the world and that this amazing young lady, not only enjoys life, but enjoys the challenges ahead of her!
Baby J, I just love you and all you have taught me about.

NOW, BABY, NOW is your time! Let yourself shine for you and not for the rest of us!


Monday, March 23, 2009

Some Days

I wish I could just skip
I sooo wish I could just skip the kid got hurt or isn't doing well days! I so wish I could skip the Hubby is hurt real bad and won't do anything about it days! The days where he tells the DR's that he doesn't want surgery and do what you can to omit that days! I wish I could skip the days where my kids fail a test and I can't fix it or are the days where the one kid is diagnosed at school with classic signs of "ADD" and I had him in to his pediatrician, I love for the exact same thing, when he was 7, and I am told he is a normal 7 year old get over it! But this is real for a 13 year old!!
Or the days where they just say you failed as a pet owner!
But I can't skip those!
These are honest "Days of My Life"!
I don't like'em but they change my life and I live by them!
Just know that whenever I think of you all I pray for you and do the same for me on my Some Days!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

I Love Memories Like This

I left, once again, for a business trip at the beginning of this week! Thankfully, the night before I left it was beautiful outside, so what else would a family do? Start a fire and go outside!

The kids played on my quad, that is now repaired, from this time! What I didn't notice, Adam is wearing slippers on the quad! Helmet and goggles are both in place, but hmmm slippers?? Wow, he leaves me wondering!

Windy practiced her recorder, she had a test in the morning at school and wanted to be prepared. The diligence she shows is amazing!

Quite honestly, it was just nice to hang out with the family and watch them enjoy the outside! We have had such a long winter, just getting outside and running and watching the kids play and run and enjoy was just wonderful!

Memories like these are my favorite! Nothing planned, no big preparations and everyone is smiling!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

This One Time....

There was this one time, in college, I caught on fire. Being on fire brought a total new insight to being on fire for God. All I wanted to do was put out the fire (it hurt and I knew it would kill me)! I STOPPED, DROPPED AND ROLLED AND the fire did not go out! I wanted it out though, it hurt bad, not good, BADDDDDD!

That's when I decided I didn't want to be "ON FIRE" for God, I wanted to be around a fire for God!

Makes sense to me! Hope it does for you!

Anyway, this also taught me a lesson about sticking it out! I was in my last year of college. I never knew I wanted to get married until then! Now I felt I had a decision to make! Do I stick it out and risk losing the one I love or stop going and risk losing my self respect.

Easy choice for me, at the time , don't lose Self-respect and stick out college, stick to the choice I made before hand! Don't lose your education and everything I had dreamed of, from the age of 5! I stick it out! 50% of my back burnt (I would mention here that I have keloids and they don't leave a pretty scar, but it doesn't help my story) I go on and do my internship at a Hyatt in South Carolina, oh yea, I loved it there! Had Larry not proposed, I think I would have been around the world by now, without any adventures!

Thankfully, Larry proposed (with blessings from my mom, although when I called her to tell her she didn't sound as though there were blessings, did she honestly think I would say no?) and I absolutely crying and trembling said YES, absolutely YES! Off of a cake I took my wedding ring! A couple months later I not only graduated College (something that all the counselors told my mom NEVER would happen) and I moved back to NW Indiana! The counselors and Psychiatrists and Psychologists had my mom prepared for the worst, no daughters and no grandchildren EVER! So happy, the adventures began for me and God has a bigger plan!

That is where real life began!

Scars and all! I could tell you here that I had no real good memories of High School at this time, but that leads into an entire different story! All the good memories I have now, as compared to then!

Do I want to be on fire for God? NOPE! I want to stand around His fire and allow Him to warm me and change my perspective, I want Him to help me be warm and warm to others, I want Him to burn off the UN-undoing, I want Him to burn off sin, I want Him to lead me in the ways of Him! I do NOT want to Put His fire out, I do not want to STOP DROP AND ROLL AND PUT HIS FIRE OUT! I want to stand next to His EVER warmth and bask in His Glow!

Just my perspective!

Just me being honest!

Friday, March 13, 2009

What a Crazy Day

Mitchell is home from school, he and I have had the Flu Virus since Friday and it stinks! Good thing is we like each other and we like hanging out together (he is still to young to know mom's aren't cool). I have "rest days" on Sunday and Monday, now that will explain some of the rest of my storey!
Monday, get up with Windy and Adam and do the morning get ready for school routine. Windy is getting on her bus and "SLAM" there goes Hank out the door and running! My dogs have run off far too much lately, I could so beat them, but I never do, because I am so happy to see them when I find them (UGGGHHH)! Windy attempts to catch the dog, I am yelling at her "get on the bus, I'll get Hank" she reluctantly gets on the bus, my baby girl knows how hard he is to catch, but the Bus Driver is waiting! Bye Windy.
"Adam get your shoes on and help me get Hanky" I yell. I am already chasing him! Picture this, I still have my PJ's on (yes you are correct no Bra) and slippers, not even ones with rubber on the bottom, regular slippers, it has been raining and now I am running! Laugh here if you must, cause my feet are sliding and my boobs are out of control! (see the red in my face here) Adam is out and now chasing Hank where I leave off, because now I have chased him throughout half of our 12 acres and across the street, my lungs can't catch any oxygen and my boobs hurt! Adam turns around and calls to me, "Mom we need the quad Hank's running"! OK, I can get the quad, it is working now! I open the garage door and jump on the quad and it d o e s n ' t start! NOPE NOT AT ALL!
Adam is still chasing Hank through the back 6 and I cannot get the quad started, my slippers are now ruined and I cannot walk in them! I run inside, let Mitchy (poor Mitchy is so not well and just sleeping) know that I have to chase Adam, who is chasing Hank! I throw on my outback Boots and run out the door (yes your right still in PJ's and no Bra but now I have a jacket!) I am now yelling for both Adam and Hank! I am running, slow jogging, walking, and now I am turning around defeated! Not only is our dog lost, now I don't know how far Adam has chased him (he still thinks I am coming on the quad).
I am walking, shall I say, staggering up the side of a hill on the side of our house and I look toward the back 9 and there is Adam! No Hank, but man does Adam look beat up! I check him out head-to-toe and he is soaked from his waist down! I ask or rather holler "are you OK?" his reply "yes mom, I fell in the water in the way back chasing Hank, I didn't get him"!
At this point, I don't care, I need Adam warm and dry and to check on Mitchell and to get out of public without real clothes! Adam and I walk up to the house and I tell him to get showered and changed. Now, I check for car keys, where are my car keys, they are not in my purse and they are not in the basket by the front door. Text Larry. Larry texts back, your keys are in my pocket, sorry!
Now, I yell up the stairs at Adam "your home today, no keys"! I call Mitchell off school and immediately call Adam off of school. 3 hours later, Windy's school calls she is ill and needs to come home! Thanks to Aunt Polly Windy Makes it Home!!

This is all on Monday

Back to Hank

I have no keys for the car, I am 1 sick mama and I have 1 sick boy and 1 boy who is not doing so good and to boot he fell in water!
VOILA, the quad starts. I am looking for Hank again (with real clothes and even a bra on) man it is cold and I am not wearing gloves! I ride my quad through the back 9 and onto everyone Else's open property all the way to the Tree Farm, NO HANK! What else to do, but drive on the streets on a quad without my license! I can't find Hank! I drive through the neighborhood on the side of us, no Hank! Now I have given up and call Schererville Animal Control! HA, someone has Hank and he'll be home in a minute!
Animal Control Lady is where Hank visits when he gets out! I don't even have a chance to find him!

NOTE TO SELF: Next time, every time, take care of your babies and call animal control for everyone else!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Not Sure Where I Want to Be on This One, maybe Venting or waiting or rambling

Being a working mom, sometimes it is just awesome. I get an actual paycheck, money in hand, for the work I do. Other days, man, I can be great at my job and just failing at home and you know what, now my position at work means NOTHING!!! Hate that. I wish I could separate work from home, but I can't! I try to find balance and make it all work. I maintain the best Positive Outlook on life that I can, I pray and I ask for direction from my Father and sometimes, I don't even feel like a measure up there, my Father always gives me direction and leads my path, even when He leads me to read off of my path. I know working at home moms fight this stuff too, I was there and I did it! For awhile it seemed, I could get positive out of work even if the positive wasn't at home and vice versa. Of course, that was in the beginning of being an outside the home working mom, now, everything still goes back, to how is this going to affect my home!
I have had a rough time of it lately! I have had too many trips out of town, away from my family, for work. I hear my husband complain about my shift at work, I work every shift every week and it does grow old! It makes it worse when my hubby hates it so much. Don't get me wrong, I've got it good, I can send my kids to school almost every day of the week and hubby gets them off the bus every day of the week, so we don't even need after school programs. There is still, something I miss about those dinners around the table at night with my family.
I know tomorrow will be a new day and God will lead me or I will wait to be led by Him, I know that He controls all things and Loves me and that He loves my children and husband more than I do! I know it and believe it, I live on that and have faith in all of it!

Some days are just tougher to convince my unbelief of that!