This is just an outlet for me, to be able to get my thoughts out! I am a Woman, Wife and Mommy that also works outside the home! Just me trying to make it all work for the best for my family and myself! Just my journey!

Friday, February 29, 2008

A long way to go

I went to my new Nurse Practicioner today and I am so pleased. I think she is sorry she picked me up as a patient! I felt as though she really cared, she could relate and in turn help.
Since the beginning on January my medication has not worked for me, but I kept putting it off and hoping things would get better. I'll tell you a little. I suffer from depression that stems from post traumatic stress disorder and it is familial. I hope it isn't hereditary and just familial!! Anyway after a time sometimes medication doesn't work anymore and for some reason, this time I denied that the meds could have stopped, it had to be me. I finally made an appt. to see the Dr. and I went today. A new prescription and just doing something about it is helping than you put that with seeing the sun today, briefly, and I am doing better.
I am sure it has a ton to do with this and even more to do with a friend both my husband and I grew up with and the fact that she lost her husband (who we also went to school with). she lost him at the end of January and it is still so fresh, I need to write to her, but what can I possibly write that will make a difference! Nothing, I'll just let her know I am here and I love her. Than let's add the move, I didn't move for 14 years before this and before that I moved more than 30 times in a 3 year span!! Add that we are renting out our other home! Also add that I just received a promotion and have to build my confidence and than add the lack of sunshine and lack of heat and here you have me, that blubbering mess in the corner, someone drag me out please!!

I went into Target this afternoon and I went for a script fill and sox for everyone! Ha ha ha, I left with the script, eyeliner, pencil sharpener, some wash cloths, mouth wash, toothbrushes, hairspray, no sox!!
I am one amazing mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

I didn't want to believe it

So, I went to another mom and confronted her with some serious stuff, and I wasn't yelled at and I wasn't rejected, and she didn't even get mad at me. This was so hard. I told her that I thought her son stole from our house. This young boy is a friend of my son, so it hurt to have to go to his Mom with this issue. My heart has been broken and continues to ache! My allegation was confirmed, by the boy's mom. Confirmation only made it hurt more. Then Adam came home from school and I needed to tell him that what I thought was true. Adam was hurt and he got angry, and then he was hurt again. I talked to him about this situation and explained what the other boy's mom had told me as a tear rolled down his cheek and couldn't help but to hurt for him! Why wasn't I wrong this time? I really really wanted to be wrong. I have been in touch with the parents of my son's friend and they are hurting and trying to deal with this, however, God has been with them through all of it, they have honestly felt His presence! I think the other mom would tell you that they physically saw God!!
God has also been with my family through all of it!! God has given Adam an awesome gift of easy forgiveness and he has forgiven! My husband is an awesome leader of our family and his given us good solid direction! It doesn't stop hurting overnight and I don't stop being concerned about this young man overnight! He really is a good boy, he made a bad choice, and now I hope that this was only the start and now it is ended. With this I am confident in restoration by God!!
My Windy was upset that she would have to work off money owed to me, I reassured her that I understood and that she should consider it paid off!
I myself, was very concerned for this family. Everything has gone well for them at this point. I honestly believe that this boy will be fine!
My family really loves this boy and we have always welcomed him in our home, we still love him, so for right now there needs to be some distance. So, yep, this one cuts right to my heart.
Adam's first words when I told him I suspected his friend: "I don't think so mom, he goes to church and is involved in good organizations!"
This is the perfect time for a good lesson: "Church doesn't make a person, we still have the freedom of choice. Just because someone goes to church all the time doesn't stop them from choosing wrong." God is not into force, He is into grace, God is kind and gentle. Adam understands now when I tell him it is his choice, it really is his choice!!
Please please pray for this family and also include my family in your prayers. Adam does hurt, and is very concerned about the "what next".
My answer, the only one, "continue to pray and always tell the truth and we will PUSH past!!!

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Please pray

Beth over here needs our prayers and support, her family as well. Please lift them up.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Hard words............

I really always want to believe my children. I want them to know that "I have their back" always! So to have to go to another mom with an issue was so unbelievably difficult!
I put it off, I tried not to do it in person, I tried to discredit myself! I thought, when my kids were young, that it would be easier when they could talk! How did I kid myself on that one!
I had to go talk to one of my sons friend's mom's and tell her I thought her son, needed some help. I still hope I am wrong, but if I am that means even worse!!
It does take the community or village to raise children! We do have to come together as parents and be able to speak openly and honestly about what is going on!!
Adam has a very good friend and I like his mom and family and I tried, DESPERATELY, not to believe my own thoughts, but after all day I had to go see her! We went out for tea and had good, open, honest conversation and she accepted all I had to say and together, her and I will get to the bottom of the story! We laughed, we cried and we prayed together! I prayed that my son would still have the Good Friend he has and that all turns out well. But I still hurt inside, how can this happen, what if it were my son? What would I do? Would I believe the other parent or my child? Truth be told I believe Adults before children! Not that children are so horrible and that adults never lie, but kids do try to "cover their butts" after the fact! Yes, I am one of those parents who always, wants to believe my child is telling the truth, but I am also truthful and know that I am raising a child and if they were perfect and didn't need guidance, God wouldn't have given them Parents!! This is so much harder than I would have ever believed and now I am sure it only gets harder! When they were babies I could only believe it would get better, how wrong wrong wrong I was!! Make no mistake, I still have my kids backs, I am more on their side than anyone! Nope I don't believe that they have it all together and that they are always "truthful", I will always be their loudest cheerleader and their biggest hugger and the one who is always at their side, however I believe they need constant direction and redirection and I am That MOM!!! And my husband is That DAD!! This raising kids is not simple and it doesn't get easier!
Add to all this the "word" I got today that was so right on and so perfect, followed by the tongue lashing I received all in the same prayer message and you have one beat up mama! Yep you guessed it I am not perfect and I love my children and their friends and I love God most of all, I am feeling really beat up on! I am sure you can all relate, please share and help and Thank God with me for His daily lessons, even though not everyone thinks I can learn from God Daily!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

More on the home

Yes, I totally love my kitchen. I needed it 10 years ago when I was baking wedding cakes, but it is also perfect for a family of 5! The living room or family room or whatever is great, I caught the boys watching the Purdue game tonight (Purdue lost) and the Corn burner burning!!!

On normal notes: My baby boy is not feeling so good-so-much my MIL had to pick him up from school this morning because he wasn't feeling well and his gas (yes I said gas, or should I say farts) is still enough to chase away the skunks, whew!! Is that the dog or the baby boy?!!!

This blogger isn't loading my pics, I'll try again later.

Monday, February 18, 2008

The entertaining part of the Homestead.....

I have always entertained in the kitchen and dining room, no matter how small! So here is the picture, right before hubby's poker game:
Oh yes, some of the wives came to see the new home and I was so proud and so happy to show it off!!
My kids really like the living room, where we have a cornburner!!!!

Saturday, February 16, 2008

It has Finally Happened....

I have received an "exempt" position!!!!!!! Thank you for all who have been praying for me and my job!!! YES YES YES!!! I can now start my Career on the railroad! My official title: Mechanical Foreman I, Locomotives. Yes, I know a little strange for someone who went to school for Culinary Arts. It just goes to show, that we can plan and plan, but we never truly know how it will turn out! I did work hard for this to happen and I had to learn a ton of "STUFF", but the most opportunity came from the favor that was shown to me. The way I was trained and continued to train and receive opportunity, how amazing is that? It is so true, that if God wasn't working for me this would have never ever happened! My family is thankful for the upward movement also, they have listened to me pray, talk, complain, hope, pray, wishful think and ask for prayer over this initial position! Now you know, it doesn't end here! As soon as I received the offer I immediatley started to think "ok what next"! I need to enjoy this moment! Ok enjoying enjoying enjoying!!! Next position, I think I want to go into operations so that I can learn that end of the railroad and have more opportunity to move up!!!

So again, Thank you all so much for prayers and support!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Monday, February 11, 2008


This Boy is 7 today and I can't believe it!
He is an amazing boy! He is sweet and kind (sometimes, all the time, he uses this for his best interest) and very sensitive.
I have said it before, he is the baby, he has been treated like the baby and he acts like the baby! This has made discipline a challenge, until recently. He is soooo sensitive that, unlike the other children, a quick holler and immediate direction catches him quickly! Thank God we found a way to direct him correctly, it is a challenge!
Anyway, Mitchell has been interesting, he has really taught us to slow down and laugh more and louder! He has also taught the other children about laughter and about the "big picture". The largest lesson he has taught us is that: We are not in control! He taught us that one even before his birth! As his parents we were not included in the planning, Thank GOD, because if I was I wouldn't have planned him, Mitchell was planned by God, all by Himself, God didn't need our help!!! God has used Mitchell to teach us about wonderful SURPRISES and amazing life! The question he has taught us to ask ourselves is: Is this really going to make a difference in our life and how upset do we really need to be over this, how is it going to affect us in the long run? I think that that was a good question to learn.
Mitchell has recently lost two teeth and is growing up right in front of us! He has a been a shorty for his whole life and now he is growing UP!!!
His laughter is contagious, and the way he stops to give hugs and kisses or just to climb on a lap is amazing! What is also amazing is that the other two kids have now caught on and even though they are older they stop and climb on laps and give lovins!! I love the lessons Mitchell has taught us in his 7 short years and look forward to the lessons he will give us all. An amazing young man he is!!
Happy Birthday Mitchie!!!
I love you!!!

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Back on track soon:

Give me another week, after dsl is installed and I will be back on track with the blogging!! It just takes to long for dial up and by the time the page comes up I have moved on to being busy in the new home!!
By the Way: Interview, Friday, for that job I have been praying, training and waiting for! Yep, again please pray, this will be my starting point to getting my career on track!!!

Monday, February 4, 2008

Dial up internet...............

diaaaal upppppp internet is so sllllllloooow!~! I am trying to find some high speed or something. Hang in there with me bloggy friends. I am in a different area and have no idea about the connections here. So until I figure it all out I am using some free internet access I found!!

On a good note, we are innnnn! Kids have completed their first week in a new school, and that first week even included a snow day!!! Oh yea, the new school is awesome!! They have already made friends and exchanged phone numbers, yessss!

The kids did invite friends they have had for a while to come over, and they went snowmobiling on our own property! We are coool parents now!!!

We are getting there, like the internet, slowly! Does the unpacking ever stop?!

Time to see what all you bloggers are doing! Thanks for checking in, pictures to post soon!