This is just an outlet for me, to be able to get my thoughts out! I am a Woman, Wife and Mommy that also works outside the home! Just me trying to make it all work for the best for my family and myself! Just my journey!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009


Lately, I have been doing alot of "dumping" on people! If you are one of those I sincerely apologize.
There used to be a day when I kept everything to myself! Wow, what happened, it has been like diarrhea of the mouth lately (sorry for the gross description, but it's is true). Someone honestly asks me how I am doing, and I fall apart, why? OK, first off, back to the gym!! I know and I talk all the time, about my workouts are not for losing weight, although it would be a nice side effect, it is for my mental status! It really produces hormones that fight depression. The fight of depression is one I have accepted! I know I fight it and usually do in all ways! Watch what I eat, take meds at same time everyday, workout, smile often, and find the funny in anything! So if I know it, why don't I do it? Because once I give in to the fight, it takes me a while to get back on track! I am sure anyone can relate: Once you start beating up on yourself, the beatings don't end easily, it just gets easier to do it!

That all said, here is the positive in my life:
I do have a great life. God has truly blessed me in so many ways it will be difficult to get them all in here! I have the promises of God, the power of prayer and still there is more! I have an awesome husband, who supports me in everything and when I dump on him, he doesn't hold it against me. He is a great father to our 3 children. Larry went to work for the mill to help our family, a selfless act, he enjoys owning his own business, but because he wanted more for us, he let it to the wayside! He fights my battles with me, and sometimes lets me fight them myself and is just there for the support. I enjoy all 3 of my children, they are good kids and want to do right (they don't always, but at least they try most of the time). All my children have teachers who act as though they really care, sincerely! I have great parents and great in-laws, they help in anyway they can! I do enjoy our beautiful home and all the property! I love to laugh and am able to do it often, even at Larry's expense! I have awesome extended family, my cousins couldn't be any closer to me and more supportive if they were my siblings! I have incredible nieces and nephews! To boot, I have two great dogs! What more could a woman want!

The "dumping" has been stopped!!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

This is real

I was so happy to watch this when I returned to home:
The New President

I was so unhappy to have missed it live! Lord, I pray, he has spoken truth and that it holds to his heart so strongly he doesn't stray from it because of all the "stuff"! Lord, Please, guide and lead the USA and help those who are younger to feel stronger in the strength of the USA, No ONE, NOT ONE is left without being heard, from voting to Jury duty!! let all of us in the US feel the strength of the United States of America!! New leadership and all have strength, when God is our leader!
let all of us in the U. S. follow behind nothing lesss then the Strength of the Lord!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


Here's his story and he is sticking to it!
Larry was riding around the pond on the quad (my quad). He was, in all honesty, knocking down the cattails around the pond so we could see the pond from the house (I really do enjoy the view of the pond now). While riding along the edge of the pond, that has been frozen for quite some time, on account of this cold winter, he suddenly came across an edge of the pond that wasn't frozen. The edge of ice grabbed the tire of the quad and pulled it in, Larry, thankfully, was able to jump off of the quad to safety (although, it is the edge and not real deep there at all) the quad was now half in the pond!! Now, Larry walks to the house, the pond is kind of back there, and asks (tells) our oldest son, Adam, "get your boots on we have to take the truck to get the quad out of the pond." Larry said this so nonchalantly, I really thought, No big deal. I headed upstairs to do whatever and everything and he and Adam got in the truck and headed to the pond. Now, I decide it is time to see what happened and I look out an upper-level window and watch as the truck start to pull on a tow strap hooked to the quad, and BOOM, tow strap breaks! Now, I watch as Adam and Larry get back in the truck and head to the shed. I went to meet them outside and Larry and Adam are searching for something to pull the Quad out of the pond. Adam found a couple of short tow straps. Now, I can see on Larry's face this wasn't really a good idea and I ask (because I am that sweet and that good of a wife) "do you want me to go get something, I can run to the store and buy something?" Larry replied, "no, we'll get it, we'll have to get close but, we'll get it." I walk inside and the boys take off in the truck!
Now I know, I have to be watching. So, upstairs to the window I go! Tow strap on the truck and on the quad! I see the truck starting to pull and not really going anywhere, I watch as the lights on the truck show reverse and forward, nothing moves and nothing changes. The next thing I hear, the phone ring, it is Larry "Your going to have to call a tow truck, now the truck is stuck too! Call someone close." I frantically go through the phonebook and find someone close and explain the situation. They sent out a regular tow truck!!! So not going to do anything!!! But, they give it a college try anyway! Now, they are calling for a big boy!
Thankfully the truck and the quad are out, but not without damage. The tire of the truck was stuck wedged under a shelf of ice, blowing the tire as they yank it out!! Still not sure about the quad, but it is in the garage, and when the weather warms up, maybe it will thaw out, drain and run.
Everyone in this situation was ok! Not every piece of equipment, but every person was fine.
In between all of the running and craziness, I had to take pics. This is what I saw!
Larry took everything in stride and kind of laughed about it, until it was time to pay the tow truck driver!!

If you look closely in the middle of the above picture you can see the two side tires of the quad sticking out of the water.
The truck really was half way in the pond!!!

I really wish I would have taken pictures of the first tow truck driver's truck. This man was so kind through it all!!
To quote my Father-in-Law: "What are you doing Lamont, You big dummy"!!
Too funny not to share!!

Sunday, January 11, 2009


I really still enjoy cooking and baking. I do not set an alarm and I really do only use a recipe as a guide! Even when baking a "box" cake, I add a little more water and a little more oil and adjust the eggs as I please and as I see how big they are, I adjust the temp on the oven, generally a little lower, and I do not set a timer, I didn't even know our range had a timer!!!
but imagine this
Funny little thing.
I have noticed and so have others, namely Larry pointing it out to our children (for almost 15 years) that the smoke alarm goes off every time, every time, EVERY TIME I am cooking dinner and it is almost done!
This never happened in the restaurants I cooked in and nothing is ever burnt! It kills and then makes me laugh out loud at myself. Here I am a chef, a trained Chef (working in the mechanical dept. on the railroad) and I still set off the fire alarm.
Even stranger, ohhh how things come full circle, my mom used to set off the smoke alarm whenever dinner was done growing up too! We used to laugh and tease her about it!
It is so much more fun to be on the giving end of this and not on the receiving end


Thursday, January 8, 2009

Sideswiped and Still Trying....

Have you ever had that moment, when someone blurts something out to you and you realize that they are hurt by something you have done and angry with you for it and have been for weeks!?
This particular thing, really hurts me when it happens to me. I cannot stand it when, I have hurt someone and have no idea. And then I find out that it has been going on for weeks, not days, weeks! I haven't even been confronted with the problem, that I didn't know there was, and someone blurts out, all kinds of angry "one-liners" and a light goes on in my head and before I can address the situation, the person is gone! Still hurt and angry, so now I know what is going on, but I still don't know why. The last thing I ever want to do is hurt someone!
Another problem, i deal with things straight forward, and maybe I set myself up to get hurt, but I always go to the person and say whatever it is that is on my mind and I always assume they didn't mean to hurt me! The big problem is: Not everyone wants to be put on the spot like that and not many people deal with issues like that!
SO, here I am knowing I have hurt someone, I have no clue what I have done and I haven't even been given the chance to address it!
I have a hard time understanding why someone would allow themselves to be hurt by and angry at another person and not even address it!
Bigger problem can't deal with the problem until I know where it comes from and beside "one liners" and running I can't even talk to this person!
I hate these situations and I hate being the cause and not knowing what it was I did. I know I want myself to know when and how I have hurt someone, I keep going back in my head and cannot pinpoint it. So now, I beat myself up wondering how in the world I could have hurt someone so badly they won't even talk about it!
Because I deal with things in a different manner it is even harder for me to understand pondering and holding onto such hurt.
Late on I say to myself "if he knew me, he would know I never want to hurt anyone" but next I say to myself "where is your compassion?"
And so the beating up on myself goes back and forth! And here I am
Just trying to figure out how to deal with day to day!
I really want to be a good and kind person, want to be compassionate and caring! Sometimes I get sideswiped!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

More questions of myself

It has been a good vacation from work and I think it has been a good break for the kids! But it has left me with even more questions, about the mom thing, the being a daughter thing and the being the wife thing oh and I forgot to mention the being a working woman thing!!

Hubby and the kids and I have enjoyed the time we have had together! But, I am left wondering am I doing this family thing right? Most of the time I think I am tough, but sometimes, I know when, I am a big ol softy! I guess I think they need to know grace!

Adam has spent his entire break ungrounded, he has really shown some effort in the academics area! His grades haven't changed much, but he is not a discipline problem, he just needs organization skills!! Uhhhmm so do I!!

I have kept Ya's from her horse-riding lessons, cause I want her all to me! She is such a sweet heart when she asks if she has lessons this week it almost breaks my heart to tell her "NO" but, in order not to have anywhere to run to I say "NO"
Mitchey really is the baby and he works it well and we play to it well! He is such a kind hearted young man! I just love him! He was supposed to spend the night at his friends, the other night, and was returned home because he misses his mommy and his daddy! Right now, he is cuddled into daddys arms closely and both are snug for a good nights rest! Ahhh

Today was a good day out with my dad! we all ate well and laughed out loud! I loved every second of it!

It did leave me questioning myself and why I
do and don't do the things I do!
UHHH! More questions for myself to ponder! Isn't that just the way life goes!`