Have you ever had that moment, when someone blurts something out to you and you realize that they are hurt by something you have done and angry with you for it and have been for weeks!?
This particular thing, really hurts me when it happens to me. I cannot stand it when, I have hurt someone and have no idea. And then I find out that it has been going on for weeks, not days, weeks! I haven't even been confronted with the problem, that I didn't know there was, and someone blurts out, all kinds of angry "one-liners" and a light goes on in my head and before I can address the situation, the person is gone! Still hurt and angry, so now I know what is going on, but I still don't know why. The last thing I ever want to do is hurt someone!
Another problem, i deal with things straight forward, and maybe I set myself up to get hurt, but I always go to the person and say whatever it is that is on my mind and I always assume they didn't mean to hurt me! The big problem is: Not everyone wants to be put on the spot like that and not many people deal with issues like that!
SO, here I am knowing I have hurt someone, I have no clue what I have done and I haven't even been given the chance to address it!
I have a hard time understanding why someone would allow themselves to be hurt by and angry at another person and not even address it!
Bigger problem can't deal with the problem until I know where it comes from and beside "one liners" and running I can't even talk to this person!
I hate these situations and I hate being the cause and not knowing what it was I did. I know I want myself to know when and how I have hurt someone, I keep going back in my head and cannot pinpoint it. So now, I beat myself up wondering how in the world I could have hurt someone so badly they won't even talk about it!
Because I deal with things in a different manner it is even harder for me to understand pondering and holding onto such hurt.
Late on I say to myself "if he knew me, he would know I never want to hurt anyone" but next I say to myself "where is your compassion?"
And so the beating up on myself goes back and forth! And here I am
Just trying to figure out how to deal with day to day!
I really want to be a good and kind person, want to be compassionate and caring! Sometimes I get sideswiped!