This is just an outlet for me, to be able to get my thoughts out! I am a Woman, Wife and Mommy that also works outside the home! Just me trying to make it all work for the best for my family and myself! Just my journey!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Watching in Slow Motion.......

I'm watching what appears to be a train wreck, in very slow motion!
It's true what they say about kids (whoever "they" are)! Lil' kids, lil' problems, big kids, big problems!
I am watching and praying! I am on my knees and in constant prayer, as we are always! But this prayer is sooooo consistent and I look up from prayer and it's, as though, I am watching right next to it, behind bullet proof glass! I am to the point where I am in constant prayer and that prayer is: "whatever it takes"! Really, really, God, My Trail Guide for Life, my Best Friend, please please, whatever it takes!
I have been obedient and I have said out loud, to this person, only what has been directed, in order to keep this person out of harms way! Though direction and heart have been given, it is not usually accepted!
I look into this person's eyes and I see no respect for elders and no respect for those that love this person!
My heart weeps and aches!
I have been to this point in prayer over people a few times in my life....this one is slightly different, this person is so young.......I have watched as all the circumstances unfold and lead to this point! The exact point, I pray against! God can turn anything and anyone around, I'm still praying!
My heart knew and believed, my head just couldn't wrap itself around what was going to happen!
Choices have been made...
Facts have been spoken........
Opinions have been made known....
Prayer has been a constant................
Love is without end..................
I pray this is only a slight derailment and not a complete train wreck
But I watch from behind that bullet proof glass and I wait!
I know I'll be one of the first to the scene.......................
I'll help pick up the pieces and I'll help put things back together, if it's allowed!
So I stay, behind the bullet-proof glass, watching it all in slow motion, on my knees, in constant prayer and most of the time......
My prayer is I'm wrong!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

It Was Clean Yesterday..

I have been told, by a friend...
You always say that and I do, I always do!
But it's always true! Birthday Party has been celebrated
Mom is crazed
Mom, has seen who the good friends are
Kid has enjoyed all the friends, even the "not-so-great" and the "not-allowed to comeback---ever!!"
Please please don't look in my windows and don't drop by............It really was clean yesterday!

R U Talkin' 2 Me?

I stepped on the scale at the gym
the scale, I can't stand
this scale never reads the same as mine at home
usually it's a MUCH bigger number
Today it said the same as my scale at home....
Could it be true, is this really working, am I really doing this?
I go through all these questions in my head....
I enjoy for a minute and then I start wondering if the scale is broken!!!!
I have stood in front of the mirror, dressed and naked
I don't see a difference
I constantly question my scale
But, I tell myself to take my victories where they are!
It appears I have been having victories on the scale
but NOT in my mirror!
My mirror says, I still look the same....
My SCALE at home speaks loudly to me, daily!
My home scale is soooo nice! I like it right now
I know if I don't like it, I have only myself to blame!
I love love love, REALLY I do, to exercise
Absolutely no sarcasm here!
I love the adrenaline rush! I love the extra push!
The scale at the gym said the same thing...........
So, why isn't my mirror saying the same thing!?
I'm still happy and still saying I have a small victory here,
but MAN oh MAN I wish I could see it!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Still Learning.....

After all the research and the trips to the Doctor with my oldest, I'm still learning about ADD!
There are so many factors, symptoms and side effects.........
I thought I had a good grasp on it and his teachers taught me more the other day.
I still find myself falling into that frustration with him and not understanding the disease! Don't get me wrong, discipline is still HIGH PRIORITY, but sometimes, just having a little understanding and knowing whatever it was, he may not be in control of! WHEW
We are working together on this and I am not, teachers and the Doctor are all making a real go of understanding and helping him and us with understanding it and coping.
Honestly, I thought all teachers had a good understanding of it, WRONG WRONG WRONG.
What I have found......
I don't have a good grasp, I have some understanding and I'm learning to be compassionate and understanding as my son learns how to cope with it and so do the rest of us. It is troubling for him and difficult for all of us, the frustration on everybody's part is difficult to explain!
Adam enjoys how far he has become...
Not all teachers have a good understanding either!! Thank God for the ones that do! I am thankful for all of his teachers, each one of them have invested time and effort into helping him, even the ones without understanding of ADD.
I had a parent/teacher conference with his teachers last week and I sat there and listened to each one of them say both positive and negative about my boy, I was able to KNOW who understood and who didn't and I was also able to see who really "got" Adam and who really understood from my point of view!
As I listened, I couldn't help but to quietly thank God for how far Adam and his parents have come in understanding and dealing with it! At that same moment, I prayed for more understanding and better coping and more peace about the entire situation!
We are all still learning......and not everyone understands and that's part of the learning process and part of the understanding process..understanding that other people will just not always understand!
Adam has done so well and become so much more engaged in everyday life and focused, it's amazing. His parents have also grown in understanding and knowledge.....there is still such a long road ahead......I'm so thankful we have to go it alone!

Sunday, May 9, 2010


Mom's are beautiful and amazing! Mom's are..........everything and anything that no one else can be and awesome and right where we need them, right at the right time! Mom's are always willing to take the lesser, so their children can have the "more"! Mom's are always willing to give the credit to someone else and thank someone else for what they have done, knowing all along they had something, if not everything, to do with it and letting that go! Mom's are willing to stand beside the spot light and be there for support, allowing their children to bask in the moment, not expecting anything in return! Moms are always there and rarely given the recognition they are due (quite honestly, even if I'd try, it just wouldn't be enough recognition)!
Mom's are the biggest cheerleader and the loudest one that says go for it, you can do it! Mom's are the one's that push us past, what we think are our limitations, only to find success!

Mom's are the one's, still on their knees, hoping, praying, speaking, guiding and leading us to the best that God has for us! Mom's are the one's that don't give up, give in or turn away! Mom's give beyond, what they believe in themselves to give to their children! Mom's are the one's, still at the alter, when we have already left! Mom's are the one's that believe in their children, when their children don't believe in themselves! Mom's are the one's that promote, the "I CAN DO-IT" attitude! MOM'S are amazing and not recognized enough! To my Mom and to the My Mother-in-Law and to a special Mom who has always believed in me and been a special part of my life and to the Mom's who have believed in their children..............without giving up, without fail and with constant prayer
Happy Mother's Day!!!
You are not honored enough, but loved more than words can say!

Friday, May 7, 2010

This One's Personal......

Another celebration, they come in groups, don't they? I think so! Ya's Bday, Papaw's Bday, Mother's Day and
Our Anniversary!
16 years ago I walked down the aisle to meet my best friend and partner for life!
The vows meant so much to say and living them is beyond words!

I love that I am still in love with him and fall deeper in love with him daily!
I'm blessed daily by the marriage God gave me!
16 God be the glory, without Him, we wouldn't have made it one hour, oh my goodness we wouldn't have said those vows!
He is in the middle and on the left and on the right and always on His Throne and always available and ready!
Thank You Jesus for a wonderful marriage of 16 years, I pray you continue to hold your hand upon us and carry our marriage and our family! I have been abundantly blessed in my marriage and my guy is such a great guy and all I can ask, is that God continues to bless us!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Happy Birthday Papaw!

Sorry Friends.......
Hands-down, no competition......
I wish you could be blessed with a FIL like mine, but he's a one and only and I'm not willing to share him (I'm not sorry)!!!!

Happy Birthday Papaw!
We all love you very much and have been praying for a great birthday for you!
You mean so much to us, please bless us all by enjoying your Birthday!
With love, tons and tons of love!
Please join me in wishing my FIL a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, May 3, 2010

Success Complete or Continued

I'm not sure I can prove myself any longer. I am human and I am a person, I am also a woman, with real emotion and tons of heart!
I have 3 children and a husband I adore
I like to have painted fingers and painted toes
When put my painted toes inside my crazy boots, I'm a lil happy and a lil proud! I have my painted toes, that only a few know about, inside of a dusty, junked up pair of "work-boots
I enjoy my nails and the colors I have put on them and then I put them inside some crazy work-gloves!!!!!!!
I enjoy wearing a pretty necklace but I won't wear any jewelry to work, it's dangerous!
My normal dress is a pair of blue jeans and a collared shirt! It's what I wear to work! I love to wear skirts and dress pants, but it doesn't happen to often!
I know I have proven myself and I have proved that I can do, what used to be considered a "mans job" and I can do it well! I had/have bigger goals............I'm really ok, with where I am! I have done well and proved myself, not only to myself but to those I work with!

I know I'm putting the "cart before the horse" but if it's time for me to step down, I'm ok with it, it's necessary!
I've been upset for days and I realize that I am not upset with taking a step back, I'm really just dealing with undealt fear and emotion! My plan isn't to totally step away, my plan is to take a step back and wait, only if that is what is necessary! Right now, I'm not sure if I am with "full force go ahead plan" or with "take a step back and watch plan", it really just depends on what happens next!
Today and tomorrow and the next couple of days as I put my painted toes inside the junked up boots and put my painted nails inside a pair of oily gloves and I remove all of my jewelry and I put my jeans on.............I'm going to enjoy it, I'm going to enjoy every bit of success that means for me!
All the while, knowing it might be the last few days I get to do it this way! I'll still wear it all, but not with the same attitude I have now, it'll be a lil different!
Who knows, I may be concerned for nothing!
If only I could get in touch with the right people.........

Sunday, May 2, 2010

It's Social

The gym is really a social place. Yes, it is meant to be a place of working out and getting healthy, but seriously, it is a social place! I notice that I start to look for the people I "expect" to be there and when they aren't I wonder why they aren't there. It isn't that I haven't noticed the gym as a social place before, but I'm noticing it more lately! I don't have anyone that I look for to work out with or to chat with, I have people that I look for to say hello to or give a head-nod or a smile to.
I have had work-out partners from time-to-time and I can tell you, I enjoy those workout days more! I love chatting with a friend and getting something done at the same time!
I look for Mr. Shorty Shorts and Mr. Black Socks daily. I enjoy catching a glimpse of the Senior Dance Group practicing! I love the woman in the front row of my Zumba class and how she Zumba's like nobodies business! I can't wait to see Mrs. I Just Had a Baby in my Pilate's class. I look forward to the occasional, quick hello, with a mutual friend of a friend or the parent of one of my kids friends! I enjoy Mrs. Clicks, on the track and knowing that she will be walking with someone, but who today?
I know why group fitness works and why it always has, it's social, I've always said that! But, how can a gym survive so long without ever changing names---it promotes the social side of working out and people love that and come back for it!
All that being said....
It was much to my surprise one day, when a woman "scolded" myself and a friend for chatting during the warm-up of a class! I couldn't believe the way she did it or that she did it! Everyone knows, chatting through the warm-up is OK! It's when class gets going that, first you shoot a dirty look and then you politely ask the chatting to stop! But nooooooooooooooooo, this woman was mean-spirited! My friend and I obliged the grouchy woman and stopped chatting immediately (after all the meat of the class was about to begin anyway)and felt a lil uncomfortable the rest of the class!
It only takes one to ruin the social part of the gym and that should not happen! I really wonder how many people Ms. Grouch has chased off!
Truth is, people keep working out because they enjoy going and it is usually the people they meet up with, see, chat with, wink at etc......... that keep them coming back and our health depends on that! Even if you don't chat with anyone, there is someone that you expect to see at the gym daily and that makes it social!
Please, don't let Ms. Grouch chase you off, she is only one! Look forward to seeing your friends or workout partners or your own Mr. Black Socks or Mr. Shorty-shorts or your own Mrs. Zumba's Great or Mrs. Pilate's I Just Had a Baby (and look fab) or Miss College and Everything is Tone, or Mr. Muscle Look at Me or Miss I Can Do Everything and Look Good While Doing It! Look forward to that stuff and keep yourself going back for that exercise, after-all you may be someone elses Miss, Mrs, Ms, Mr something and you'd be letting them down if you didn't show up tomorrow! Enjoy your workout and enjoy the social part of your gym time too!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

I've Tried to Stop it...............

Proof that there are consequences to our actions
I have prayed and prayed and begged with God to not let this lil' girl grow up. I never received an answer of "no" or an answer of "Yes". I have received the answer that there are laws of the land and consequences! Sometimes, good consequences, sometimes bad consequences and sometimes the consequences are neither good nor bad!
12 years ago, I gave birth to my baby girl! It was amazing, not a dry-eye in the room, not myself or my hubby or the nurses!
I remember hearing "girl"! I'm not exactly sure what was said directly before or after! I do remember looking at Larry and seeing the tears and the smile on his face! Next words I remember hearing were "what's her name?"
Larry and I almost simultaneously said "Windy"! Not a dry-eye in the room! I remember the phone calls to his parents and my mom...I really think the only thing Larbo could get out was, it's a girl!!! I don't remember him saying much more! I remember hanging on to her for quite some time, I just couldn't let the nurses take her away to bathe her and weigh her and politely enough, they obliged (I think everyone needed a moment to get themselves together)! Everyone that was in our room to deliver Windy, knew of my sister and the story and since they ask your history, they knew who I was and who my sister was!
Windy was the only one, they allowed us to keep to ourselves before they "did" all their stuff! All was said and done and our door closed on the room and we oohed, ahhed, hugged, kissed and loved on and over her for the next two hours! Then we let her go get cleaned up!
She was the smallest of the 3 children and she was an "easy baby"! She liked her sleep and she liked whatever we liked for her!
Now, I see the namesake thing! If you don't think you can "speak" something over someone, or "call" things into being, let me tell you about my baby girl and the people she is named after! She carries alot of my sisters characteristics and having never met her it's amazing to see what she has received from her namesake (somethings she has received she will enjoy later in life, she doesn't enjoy everything right now), some she loves and some she struggles with and some she doesn't even realize she carries! Her middle name belongs to her Gramma. I have watched, what I think, is a special relationship between them grow. Gramma is kind hearted and loving and always willing to help, she has a dedication to responsibility and that's where Windy gets it! I love calling her Katie from time to time and her response is perfect, it's so Gramma!
Windy is sweet, kind and generous. She is loving and passionate and has deep concern for others. Windy carries a style all her own and wears it well! She is absolutely amazing in so many ways, she is positive and brings out the positive in others!
Windy Kay, Katie, Kay, Yaya, Ya's, Gracie, Grace, "The Girl", Girl, Yatta's, WINDY,

call her any of these names and she responds, exactly the same, like herself, like our Windy Kay! She gets many great characteristics from her namesakes, but she made them all her own and became our Windy Kay!
Happy Birthday Windy!! I love you!