This is just an outlet for me, to be able to get my thoughts out! I am a Woman, Wife and Mommy that also works outside the home! Just me trying to make it all work for the best for my family and myself! Just my journey!

Thursday, December 30, 2010

The Busy-ness is fun---BUT!!!

I didn't take pictures
and I wish I did!
But I'm a lil embarrassed that I used the refrigerated cookie dough!
(and in my mind I say "get over it honey, it's better this way)
But I had a friend that offered her kitchen!
Mine is still burnt and showing only signs of remodeling 'on the way'!
I wanted to bake cookies
I missed baking cookies, this holiday season...... I really did! 
My friend invited me over to bake cookies to use and abuse her kitchen!!
and I jumped at the thought!
Even more, I thought of how fun it would be to spend the day together!
I took home about 7 dozen baked (store bought, proportioned) cookies!
I spent the entire day with my friend and her son!
My kiddos enjoyed it!
We took the invite and
We ran with it!!  We used it kinda as intended
and then we furthered it!
I got to spend part of the holiday with a friend!
Crazy thing is, we're usually too busy for this kinda fun stuff, during the holidays!!
HMMMM, Another note to Chrissy!!
Time with family and friends and not being stressed about what "needs" to be done or what "should" be done!!
This is it!!  We've been missing this stuff!!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Bestie's Exist?

I have a friend I can tell anything!!!!  I mean anything and everything!
If it's  that I'm mad at my hubby, I can tell her......and she'll love him tomorrow, just like me!  She'll totally agree with me, what an a-hole he is and tomorrow she'll love him, the same as she ever did, or maybe she loves me and he is part of my package, but either way, she still loves him!! 
I have a friend I can tell my deepest darkest secret too and she's still there when I'm finished telling her my secret!
I have a friend I can tell about my children, when they are good, when they are bad and when they are horrible.....I can tell her and she still loves them and me afterwards!
I have a friend that cries with me......that hurts when I hurt and I hurt when she hurts!
I have a friend who accepts me and alll allll allllllll my mistakes and even after she knows all about them, she loves me and she still my friend!
She's the friend that meets me for coffee
that meets me to help me with a child
that listens to me when I'm rambling and doesn't stop me, she helps me continue....she helps me get to the bottom of my rambling.
I have a friend that has the same concerns I do!
She wants her children to be raised properly and to be successful!!  We both want ALL of them set-up for success!
She tells me the truth, even when it hurts!
She'll meet me for chatting when we can make it work!
She cries with me when I cry for my family and I believe she feels my pain!
You know, I feel all the same for her, I hope I am there for her as much as she is me, I hope she can tell me everything and anything!
I'm not sure, but I think this is what "they" call a bestie........I haven't ever been able to entertain the idea, but today I am! 
Is that what your bestie is like?  Is it true, is there really another bestie, after you have lost your bestie, does God really fill that vacancy?  I think He does.......I've never looked at it this way, because 23 years ago my bestie passed away and I knew I would never have another one like her, but I didn't stop to think that God would fill that void of a "bestie"!
It's always been kind of a sweet thought and  a jealousy I've held against my friends........but tonight I stopped to really look at my relationship and I prayed and I asked God, is this it, is this the relationship of a "best friend"?  I want that, I want my daughter to have it and I think she has found it, but my oh my, did I find it for myself?  Has it been under my nose all this time?
I heard God answer me, in my prayer He said, "what does your heart say?" 
I knew, I knew........

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Looking From the Upside.......

I should have been back here much sooner, like the next day!  So that I could tell you, the next day was much much better (as it always or usually is with parenting).
We are headed in a slightly new direction now.  Not off course, but on course, in a new direction (hopefully, the right direction)! 
We sought help and found that there's a different way, that hopefully, will work better, with our oldest.
So, praying and hoping that all goes well, maybe, just maybe the path we are headed down with our oldest will be the right one, for all of us, but most of all, the right path for him.
It isn't the easiest thing to do, asking for help, but raising a teenager isn't easy either.  I can't see just letting things happen, however they happen, I can only see trying new things, getting help and continuing to work! 
The next few weeks is a trial, from there we tweak and change...I guess that's not really different from the parenting we've been doing, just with a little more advice from the outside.
Since raising children isn't something we were born knowing how to do, we're on a learning curve!  Good part is, both Hubby and I are willing to take part and try new things, neither of us are willing to throw our arms up and just let the raising happen, however it happens.  So with much prayer and much love, a ton of research and reading and seeking out help and support, I think we'll find our way through it.....I think, HOPE, we come out on the other side and all of us, the entire family, looks back and says:
We're in a better place now!
See, there's always an UPSIDE, when your down!!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Life Feels Sooo Upside Down......

Everyday I have successes
BUT, everyday I fail!
For some reason, those failures stand out the most and cover up my successes!
I can tell you, I fail as a mommy, a wife, a friend, a supervisor, an employee.........
Y'know, I fail at everything
But I like to think that I have successes in every aspect too!
For some reason, when I fail, I feel like it's epic!
I feel as though I won't recover and the person or duty I have failed won't recover either..
I wonder if everyone goes through this...
As I disciplined my oldest and knew that it was the right thing, I couldn't help but hear that lil' failure voice in my head, telling me I was wrong or that I failed him at some other point in his life and that's why we are, where we are, right now!
Than, from somewhere in the distance, I can hear something about failures and experience....
I know, I'm not supposed to know it all and I'm supposed to learn it as I go.....
But sometimes,
when I look in the eyes of my children
and I know I have failed as a mommy,
I just want to "get it all" and "do it all" right the first time, the deserve my success as a Mommy
I don't want to learn it all, I want to do it all right the first time
The one thing, I cannot stand failing at, is being a MOM (I don't like failing at all)
Unfortunately, I fail at it daily.....
I guess the most important thing is to
learn from mistakes
apologize when needed
pray pray pray
and make sure they know I love them and that I don't want to fail them, as their mom....
I just hope it's enough!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010


That's it, this year! 
No other trees and not even all the ornaments!
It's starting to "look" like Christmas around here! 
Not alot like a Witt Christmas, but like Christmas!
The Kiddos enjoyed it!
They put on the ornaments that are in each of their bins only!  We didn't bring out the "big" box of ornaments! 

Everything has to be ready to be moved!

Christmas decorating is very different this year.  But it's working and we're mostly, happy with it!

But there's boxes next to the tree...

Those boxes hold all our stuff!  The pictures from the walls, the lil set-outs, the candles, y'know all our "stuff"

We have to be prepared when they come in to paint and refinish the floors.

We have to be ready, to be out of the contractors way!

So we are READY (sorta) Can you ever be ready to turn your home over to a someone else?
 But, Christmas is simple this year!

The last minute shopping, which is sooooo not like me, isn't even making me crazy!

I'm under the idea, if the gift is found and purchased, it's good and if the right gift isn't found and purchase, it's good!


I won't be cooking in my home this Christmas and I'm already missing that part!
 I've discovered, there are some things that I really enjoy about the Christmas Season

I enjoy baking tons and tons of cookies!

I enjoy the "busy"of this time of year
I really enjoy that 'hustle n bustle' we sing about! But NOT the crazy busy!!

I enjoy the excitement of the kiddos!

I enjoy the cooking!

I REALLY ENJOY the decorating!
So, as we celebrate this year, VERY SIMPLE.....

I'm taking notes of what is really missed and what we can do without!

It's a good lesson for me....there's alot I can cut out and there's a few things I can put more time into!

I can chill out a lil more and enjoy the fun busy a lil more!

Next year, tons of cookies and maybe only 1 tree again, 
but ALL the decorations!!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

What to Do, What To Do

I don't have any Christmas decorations up!
I don't have any wrapped gifts out!!
I don't even have my "fake" wrapped gifts out!
I haven't made any bows!!!!
If you know me at all, you know I find comfort and stress relief, in making bows and wrapping presents!
Think I'm going to have to go dig out my ribbon and wrapping paper!
I think I may just have to put up a tree!
The other half of me says:
Deal with it!
Celebrate Christmas this year, by only being decorated in your heart!
Simply wrap, simply!
Those few gifts you have purchased, wrap them and pile them!
Teach the kiddos that Christmas isn't about the STUFF!!
Then I go back to the
other half of me:
The baking cookies, at Christmas time, bring more time together and the kiddos love it!
The kiddos love learning how to make bows and seeing the pretty presents wrapped!!!
I need my stress relief---wrapping presents and making bows!!!!!!
I love making ornaments with the kiddos and I think they like it too!
Not sure which half will win.....but I'm pretty sure,
both sides are right on and both sides are slightly "off"!!
I love that Christmas time brings on that "creating more time" for the fam!
That there are things, about Christmas and all the stuff, that we do as a family, that we enjoy!!
This figuring it out thing STINKS!
I was trying to get myself geared up to "only decorate my heart" for Christmas!
But I miss all the other stuff and each one of the kiddos, miss something about our preparations for Christmas!
Are they all necessary?  NOPE!
Will we "do" our traditions or will we spend time together differently this year!???
I don't know!
Maybe tomorrow I'll make a bow and wrap a gift and we'll all be ok!
Or maybe, I'll go buy a tree!  Maybe, we'll take over someones kitchen and make cookies!
I wish I had this thing figured out......I wish both my 1/2's lined up!

edited much later, to tell you.........
If my house were normal and I didn't have to worry about moving things for contractors, it would be, ME, decorating and baking like crazy, like every year.....
but this year, everything has to accommodate, the rest, in order to get my house in order!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010


Yesterday was my sister's birthday!
The memories of celebrating her Birthday with her, still warm my heart.  But then, they make me miss her more. 
I made my way through it, just know, they way one does every year!
There were a couple of moments that touched me deeply yesterday!
One was, my daughter left a post on my FB page and said:  Happy Bday Aunt Windy! 
So, touching!  I don't even think my daughter knows how it touched me and also, how sad it made me.  The two never got to meet........but my Windy, gets my Windy!  That's something!
The other was the phone call from my Mom, checking on me!  It's always, short and always sweet, but it's a moment where we connect and we know why and we know we need each other.
Mom always says she loves me and the phone call is ended......
Happy Birthday to my Sister!  There isn't a day that goes by that she isn't thought about, loved, celebrated or honored.....but her Birthday is still a especially special. 
Today, I am thankful, I have a sister and that I did get time to get to know her and that we shared a sister-friendship!

Monday, December 6, 2010

If We Would've Believed Our Parents!

I never believed my parents or my hubby's parents about how difficult raising children can be!
Hell, if I would have really LISTENED, we wouldn't have ever given them grandchildren!
So my thought is, they wanted us to know and they wanted us not listen.........they love love their grandchildren and I love my children!!!
But whoa, if you would've convinced me that what our parents were telling us were true it would be different today......
I'd be a parent to no one!
I'm so thankful to be a parent!!!  I love my children and they have blessed me immensely!!  I love being parent and I love my children!
My children are beautiful and a challenge!
Each one of them are different!!
Each one of them are a different challenge!
Each one of them require different challenges and different discipline skills!
It's a challenge and it isn't easy!
I'm learning and so is my hubby!
But this raising kiddos thing, ain't for the faint of heart!
Raising these kiddos requires all heart and all love and strength!
I'm thankful for my guidance in the bible, but I'm even more thankful in my guidance in prayer!
Raising kiddos takes alot out of us!!
But always worth it! 
Each one of them requires different discipline and that's what adds so much difficulty!
I think all 3 of them are great kiddos with an awesome heart!  In order to continue that....we need to continue searching for the best way to discipline each one of them, individually!
Raising kiddos ain't easy!!!!
I'm so thankful we didn't take our parents at face value and I'm so thankful we have our kiddos!!!!!!  It ain't easy, but it's right!!!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Where Are The Decorations.....

Still trying to come to grips with setting my kitchen on fire!  It's tough, it's a tough thought to know, that I caused the problem.  However, my head immediately takes over and my heart is calmed.
There's alot to be done, the fire damage is only in the kitchen, the smoke and soot damage has taken over my house!
My house is getting cleaned, every corner, every high spot and every hidden notch!  Sure, it will be nice WHEN IT'S DONE!!  We have  been sharing our home with strangers for a week now!  They aren't really strangers any more....actually, two very nice ladies and I'm happy to have the chance to get to know them!  But I am missing my time in my home!  Once the cleaning crew shows up, I try to stay out of their they can do their job!
Then we will be sharing our home with a few different contractors, that we have been meeting along the way!
There's the list, we have to list EVERYTHING that was damaged by the fire or the smoke or the soot!'s an extensive list and every time I think it's done, I come across something else!
The fire/smoke smell is still very predominant in our home!  It sucks!  Every time I open my door, before I get to look around, smell hits me and I'm reminded of what happened!  I'm also reminded of how thankful I am that I get to come home, to my HOME!
I haven't put up any Christmas decorations'll just get in the way of progress!  I like my Christmas decorations....I like the change in the house.....I like the upbeat of the Christmas Season....I love the Reason for the season.........but we're not "in it" this year, YET!
No baking cookies either!
It's tough and I've resolved myself to not having a house until after the Holidays!  That's a tough one! 
But, it does give me time to really put things into perspective....make the season in my heart and not so much the "stuff"!
It's a lesson I'm learning!  I always thought I "got it" but I'm realizing I can "get it" more!  So, I'm celebrating Christmas a new and different way!  I'm decorating my heart and rearranging and pitching what doesn't belong,  in my head......
I'm learning a new way to celebrate the Season! 
So when you see my house and there's no decorations and you wonder if we celebrate Christmas....look into our hearts, we're decorated in there!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Please Don't Let This Pass!

I was preparing our Thanksgiving dinner and left a large pot of stock on the stove to simmer down, while I went to get dressed for the festivities!
Everything was going PERFECT!!!  (First alarm)
Turkey was yummy, mashed potatoes and green bean casserole were getting warm!  I re-seasoned the stuffing so it would be to our standards and I put the Sweet Potato casserole in the microwave, ready to heat!
As I was getting ready, specifically, showering and just putting on my make-up (uh-hum still in my undergarments)
I heard the smoke alarms sounding and not just the battery operated ones, the hard-wired smoke detectors (I promise I have 10 smoke detectors in my house, 3 hard-wired and the rest added by the previous owners), I began to run down the stairs, hubby handed me a robe from the bathroom (my daughter's pink robe, that I wrapped around myself) and I ran down the stairs to find my kitchen glowing ORANGE!!
My stock had overflowed and  caught my kitchen on fire!
I sent the kiddos outside to dial 9-1-1 (important to say exactly that and not the fire department or emergency)!
I ran upstairs to get some clothes on
and then met my kiddos outside to wait for the fire department!
Hubby put the fire out and the fire department showed up, just after!
As we greeted them, because we know most of them, they continued to take over our house!
I consoled each one of our kiddos as they "freaked out" individually, in their own time!
and We all realized what blessings we have in front of us!
We celebrated Thanksgiving, at my in-laws home and thanked God for all his blessings!
We returned home to house full of soot and smoke and stink and a kitchen demolished!  All we could do was thank God for our blessings and that
As a family.........
Sunday night.............
we came HOME.....from celebrating Thanksgiving with a loving family.........
and laid our heads on pillows,
that wreaked of smoke.................
and all I could do was...................
Thank God for family and the love we share..........
and Secondly, I thanked Him we were home!!!!!!
smoke filled, soot dirty, stinky, no kitchen, tear filled........HOME!!!
Third, my mind turned toward the fire fighters that arrived and saved my home, made us safe, consoled myself and my family and even made us laugh in the midst of my anguish!
I have so much to be thankful for and I'm lucky enough to be thankful in my home at the address He has given me, with the same phone number He has blessed me with!
Yes, this mess will soon pass.......but I pray, our thankfulness that has come upon us, this day, will NOT PASS!  This kind of thankfulness should be there daily!
I think it is, I think it just takes a polish it off and bring it to the for-front and lose the junk that bogs it down!
I pray this kind of thankfulness stays around!!!  PLEASE DON'T LET THIS PASS!

Monday, November 29, 2010

Celebrating Us

We and I mean Hubby and I, headed off to vacation, sans les enfants!!  It was beautiful and exciting.  I (we) looked forward to vacationing together, just the two of us.
We set out for our cruise!!
We did enjoy ourselves!
And it was fun!
I loved having the time alone with my hubby!
 I missed the kiddos!  I thought it would be easier to leave them as they got older.  We have always made it a point to take a vacation, just the two of us, every few years!  I always say, it's important for us to go on our own because I have to like hubby when the kiddos are gone and if everything is always about raising them and taking care of them, where is the time invested in us!  It was difficult to leave them this time!  The most difficult ever!
I think it has to do with knowing they are closer to the age of leaving home, then they are the age of living at home!
              I missed them terribly
(bad attitudes and all)!
Now that's pretty bad!
We did celebrate us and we did enjoy one another, but I don't think a week long vacation alone, is in our near future!  I want to soak up every minute I can with my kiddos!
Of course, after a few eye rolls and a few heavy sighs, I'll be changing my tune!!
  Funny how that works!!

Friday, November 12, 2010

One Truck + Two Girls =

A good moving company??? 
Truck, keys, cell phone, money and COFFEE!!
And off to Heather's!!  We had to get her moved this weekend! 
We started moving her the day before with HELP, alot of HELP!  But there was only a lil more to get by the next morning, so we made a plan and ATTACKED!
~sorta~ (more like we got attacked)
Our mouths stopped moving, ONLY, long enough to pick something up and get it to the truck!  At some point (we were carrying something down the stairs) Heather said to me: "two girls and a moving truck"!  hmmmm keeps me thinking (good business move or bad idea) either way "it's cute and could be a busy business" I replied!!
We move stuff out to the truck and we load it in!  Best way we know how to make it fit!  It all had to fit, we're short time and gotta get it done!
Truck's loaded!
Doors closed and we take off to our destination!
Yep you guessed it, mouths moving!
We turned the corner and drove off down the road
"HEY.............HEY" we heard from down the road!
Check the rear view mirror and there's a mattress on the ground!  Sucker flipped right out of the side of the truck!  Nope, we didn't tie it down! (That would take precious time)
Nice Guy and I might add, good lookin',  helps us get it back into the truck and says "you need to tie it down" (I think he repeated himself 43 times).  OK, I got rope!  Rope that's tangled and I mean TANGLED!  I untangle the rope (which took 10 minutes) it must have been 100 feet long!  While I continue to untangle....Heather and Nice Guy start rearranging the truck to make sure that it all STAYS inside the truck!  Mattress on the ground AGAIN!!  Mattress back in the truck!!   Mattress on the ground!!  Mattress back in the truck!!  NOW STOP REARRANGING!!  I'm untangling!  Heather's rearranging and Nice Guy is directing! (laughing out loud the whole time, oh ya, me TOO!!)
BTW, we are in the middle of the road and the truck is still running! (Shut the truck down Chrissy-truck is shut down now)
Anywhoo,  ropes finally untangled (with a few jokes) after a few more "almost there's" and a few comments taken the wrong way (still funny nonetheless)! 
During all this; neighbor lady brings out cookies to Nice Guy!  Hmmm, I wanted some cookies!!  (I still can't believe neighbor lady brought out cookies for him during our chaos)
There is far too much laughter going on, considering the chaos and we are short time and we need to get this done!!
Nice Guy is back in truck (it's my evil plan)
OK NICE GUY says wrap the rope around the furniture..........Nice Guy is right in the middle of the furniture!  So, he get's wrapped up tooo, right?  Hmmmm, this is where he tells us he has a "fiancee"! 
After all that work and all the laughter.............Now he tells us!
Nice neighbor lady, with cookies, NOT the fiancee!!
I would've planned a better place for the mattress to fall off the truck.......had I known he was "unavailable"!!
2 Girls + 1 Truck would be an ok moving business, but I thought it was going to be a "dating service"!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

One Line and The Life it Took On!

 My FB Post:

Dude! Next time, you want to tell me what's good for my health, take the cigarette out of your mouth first! I'm just sayin'!

A friend posted: know that's not good for you.....*coughing*
Another friend posted: LOL!!
Another friend posted: LOL they were speaking from experience obviously!
Another friend posted: OM GOSH, that is too funny!!!
Another friend posted: SO TRUE SO TRUE!
Another friend posted: what's better then a doctor that smokes? Or a fat doctor? answer:....nothing.... we're all human... so let it be... let it be... whispering words of wisdom let it be...
That friend posted: that was deep... didn't think i had something like that in me did ya Chrissy?
I replied:  Wow Crazy deep!
Another friend posted: u should write that down Ben that could be a hit u never know
a friend posted again:  sorry but I can't "Let It Be"......if you want to smoke, stay out of my air space please....thank you!
Another friend posted: lol
Another friend posted: I used to smoke and I don't think that it is Anyone elses  business to tell me what to do so for all you smokers PUFF PUFF to ya'll
Another friend posted: it too...seriously.....
Another friend posted: I must agree with another friend  :)
Another friend posted: Thanks
Another friend posted: wow... love the love... a hit from me to all you... let it be...
Another friend posted:  Wow, this post went places I didn't even think about! I was posting on the irony! Isn't that the way it goes, we can tell everyone else what is wrong with their health and how to do it right and at the same time, be damaging our own health! If you wanna smoke, fine, just find a corner to puff in, cause I HATE the smell of smoke and when it gets in my hair, UGH!
I posted: I have another foreman at work that smokes and when we are doing the turnover it takes 3 minutes longer, all because of his "smokers cough" and everyday, without fail, I tell him "you want me to light you another cigarette?"
I posted to some friends: Y'all were with me!
To a couple of other friends:  I totally agree, don't smoke in my space, smoke in the corner that has been offered to you!
I posted to another Friend:  . I get the whole "choice thing" I get that we live to make our own choices, but really don't smoke next to those that don't, it's a respect issue! Puff away in your designated area! You say you used to smoke, why did you stop? I have a hubby that smokes and is ashamed of the fact that he smokes! He doesn't smoke in front of people, especially people that don't smoke, because he knows it is, not only damaging to his health, it damaging to other peoples health!
I posted to  another Friend:   I know your heart! I get where you are coming from and continue digging deep into your soul, I love you and your big'ol heart! ...
Another friend posted: Wow! My sis smokes but she's always respectful of me as I am of her with it too. We get along and I don't say much and neither does she. Just respect for others is all. Each to his own until it's killing mine....then, well.

Isnt' it crazy how you say one thing and it takes on a life of it's own!!!

Sunday, November 7, 2010


I am in awe over the entire name-sake thing! I knew what I was doing when I named my daughter after my sister!
I knew I was asking for her to be like Windy! I knew it and I love it!
I didn't take EVERYTHING into consideration! I took her personality, her heart, her love, her passion, her friendship, her sense of family, perseverance, her willingness to speak the truth and nothing less! I took so many things into consideration! I wanted my daughter to be named after her Aunt! It made sense and it blessed myself and my husband. We asked for her to be Windy! God blessed us with a baby girl and I don't think she was even a minute old and we said her name was Windy. There wasn't a dry eye in the room, nurses included. Larry waited on me to say it, but he knew.
Truth be known, Larry really named all of our kids. I just ok'd the names he came up with.
My daughter is named after two very special people in mine and my husbands lives! She is named after my sister and we gave her Larry's mom's middle name.
Her name just flows!
In the days and months, leading up to her birth, we really knew what we were asking for! We knew, if this one was a girl, what her name would be.
Windy has all those characteristics that we love about her Aunt and we are blessed every day by it. I love saying Windy's name and spelling it for someone, it's a unique spelling, just like both of the girls! I love the pride my sister had when she said/spelled her name. Ya's is working on all that part! She has pride in her name, but she doesn't carry the frustration over people spelling it wrong or saying it wrong, she really just let's it be. I think she is confident that she knows her name and so it doesn't bother her that others don't get it!
What I didn't stop to think about, is how fast my sister grew up! How she understood people and their hearts at such a young age!
I'm so thankful I didn't stop to question and think into the future. I'm so thankful that she has a fun nickname, she gave to herself as a baby! 
She's growing up so fast....she's maturing at what seems to be a fast rate!  I still feel like I should be cuddling  her and holding her in one arm.  But she quickly reminds me that she's growing up.  She gets things and people so quickly, I didn't take that into consideration when we named her.  By getting people and having a heart for them, she also gets hurt, but it doesn't seem to stop her. 
She's a giver alright! 
Her appearance...................I really didn't take that into consideration when we named her!  I can't get over her appearance and her mannerisms!  They are my Sister's!  She didn't meet her, she only knows the stories she's been where did she get them?  Yep,  Windy is very much like her Aunt!
I'll take it!!

Friday, November 5, 2010

Halloween 2010

I absolutely love love love Halloween!
I'm not so much into the scary and the gory!  But I love the make believe!  I love the "idea" that kids can dream and be whatever they want and I think, if promoted properly, kiddos can believe that they can dream big, for life!  I'm just sayin' that's my hope!
I love the community that Halloween promotes!  It has the community out together on one night, just before we all get shut-in for the winter!
OK, so the "big one" was too cool to join in on the festivities with a costume, he did head out into the community and enjoyed his time saying hello to friends!!  He didn't t/t either :( When did he get too old to trick-or-treat?!  
It's a time of year where it's OK to have a fire pit in the front yard and it's ok to chat with kiddos and give them compliments and they can accept the compliment!  It's a day/night where the parents are out with their kiddos or the neighbors kiddos and it's ok to say hello to the neighbors!
I walked with my kiddos and my nephew and his friends and I met a few new people along the way!  It was ok to chat with neighbors that were strangers, until this night!  It's a night where the grandmas and grandpas of the neighborhood got to see all the kiddos and for those that didn't want too, it's ok just to turn out their lights and ignore all the "goings on"!
For me, Halloween promotes the "idea" of real community!  Coming together as one, even if just to celebrate.  It's a time where all the "stuff" that isn't supposed to matter, really doesn't matter!
This year I got to go back and celebrate in the neighborhood where my kiddos, until the past two years, have grown up "trick-or-treating"!  It was fun!  Even more fun was running into past neighbors and their kiddos and having the kiddos come by, just to say "hi"!  My heart melted, like chocolate!  The neighborhood kiddos, took time out from their candy-chase just to say hello!
I believe that their coming by was a direct product from the years of celebrating Halloween as a community!
Big time, thanks to my cousins for opening up their home, so we could enjoy Halloween festivities the way we always have and enjoy our neighborhood!  I'm so thankful!

These kids grow up sooo fast, it's nice to slow down and just enjoy an evening, where we let all the 'stuff that's gotta be done' go and we just enjoy our neighbors and our family!

Saturday, October 30, 2010

WARNING: it's Addicting

I'm sure it was meant to be for evil and created by the devil himself.  It's so yummy!
You should try spanish peanuts evenly mixed with candy corn!
It's addicting.
of course everything meant for evil can be turned!
As a sat in the morning at my In-laws home waiting to borrow a vehicle, I quickly devoured the bowl of goodies (peanuts and candy corn) my MIL made!
As I began to leave, she politely offered up another bowl of sweet goodness!!  I declined, knowing that I would just devour another bowlfull!
I'm quite sure there is no good use for candy corn, it's kinda nasty if you ask me.  The only time of year you can get fresh candy corn is around Halloween, only adding to the yumminess of the mixture!!
Anywho, all things work together for the greater good!!
I pulled up at midnight to return the vehicle I borrowed for the day and a sweet angel appeared, moseyin' down the drive way!  It was my FIL coming out to meet me to retrieve his keys and much to my surprise and delight he handed me a bagful of this addicting mixture, prepared by, another sweet angel, my MIL!!
After a long day and a sortof rough one, it was a welcomed delight and at midnight!!  Have I told you I'm blessed!!  Oh yea, I am!!
Sweetening the deal even more, without thinking about it and just knowing I wanted to save it for the next day, I transferred the baggy of sweet yumminess to the vehicle I would be using the next day!
Yesterday morning my friend and I continued to move her into her new place (whole good story in itself) and we chomped on the mixture my In-laws had worked together to createand deliver to me!  In the midst of our chatting and laughter, I giggled to myself and thought about the sweetness shared with me the day before and how it only sweetened my short time with my friend while getting stuff done!!!
See "all things work together for the greater good of those who love Him"!!
I'm quite sure my In-laws didn't have any idea how that sweet baggy and their thoughtfulness would continue to make me smile and feel blessed but it does!  And then to have it hand delivered at midnight and then to only be sweetened by sharing it with a friend!! 
I've got a sneaky suspicion it was a ploy to get the candy out of their house, nonetheless, they still had to put time into the task and it was for me!!!
That's the good stuff!!
Run out get your candy corn and spanish peanuts and make two baggies full and keep one for yourself and hand deliver one to a friend!  Then make sure you share your baggy with a friend while catching up!  It only takes 10 minutes to devour the baggy and it's enough time to have a cup of coffee, a few good laughs and a heartfelt moment with a friend!  The blessings are beautiful! 
But hurry and do it now, before the candy corn goes stale!!
There's a time and a season for everything!!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Words Of A New Day

the worst words I ever heard:
A few other words were exchanged and I defended my choices and I knew my choices were in alignment!
Of course, as soon as I walked away, I questioned me, my choices and my life.
I couldn't believe I allowed someone to make me question me!
 I came home a sobbing mess!
Met hubby at the door and all he could say was:
Heather (my Just a Good Neighbor) was waiting!
I sobbed some more, stupid stuff and hubby shoved, literally shoved me out the door!
I DON'T NEED SHOVING!  I go out with a smile, it doesn't require movement from someone else.
I was settled in for the "no fruit and bed thingy" (I just wanted to run from everything) and Larbo said goodbye!
Even better was my friend who said "hello and we're leaving"!!!
Then  the words " does she know what your doing?  Does she know who you are?"
I couldn't even answer.......
all I could do was pick up my glass and take a swig
I took stock!  With the help of my friend I looked at me,
I looked at my life, I looked at my family and I looked at my friends
all was in CHECK!!!!!!
My life was in good alignment (mostly)
I backed off of myself
I repeated the scripture, that was NOT part of my daily scripture vocabulary:  He who does the will of my Father in Heaven will enter.  I was calming and finding peace again, in who I was and who I was becoming!
My friend, was allowed, even further into my heart and my life at this time, I really heard what she was saying.  I allowed her to see me hurting and NOT being positive and I was OK, I was better than ok, I was me, really me and she didn't run and she didn't leave, she stayed and she listened and she loved me for me!
The most hurtful words that had ever been spoken to me, threw me in a different direction and they turned out to be a beautiful blessing, I became me!
Best of all, those hurtful words showed me the friend I had that was there all along!
Making the judgment of fruit or no fruit is not for someone else to do, it's a very personal prayer between yourself and God!!
Believe half of what you see and  none of what you hear!!!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Date Night is Important!

I'm so thankful for being taught that "Date-night" is special and should be taken seriously.  I'm so thankful for being "pushed" to go hang with "the girls"! 
I had a last minute Friday night off! 
Adam had a mole removed  and since he has never even had a stitch and maybe one blood test his whole life (THANK GOD), I was a little nervous about how he would do, so I walked into work and took Friday off!!  When asked, if I had my shift covered, my answer was simply, "it just doesn't matter, I need to be with my guy tomorrow and I'm not going to be here!"  Of course, I NEVER do that, so it was covered!  My guy did extremely well, a few jitters, but a great/fantastic nurse went and found my big guy some gum and told him to focus on chewing the gum and blowing bubbles!! WORKED LIKE A CHARM!!  I'm so thankful for our nurse and the Doctor who was so down to earth and made Adam feel comfortable!
Anywhoo, hubby found out I wasn't going in Friday night and he said, "oh good, I'm coming home to take you to dinner"! 
I was so excited, but we both knew that it may or may not happen, depending on our patient! 
Honestly, it didn't matter, what mattered was that hubby made it a point to put me first, he made me the priority!  Of course, both of us had our oldest at a higher priority!
Patient was doing well!!  He had recovered fine and wasn't in any pain!
After talking to hubby a few times, I realized, work may not be able to let him get outta there!  None the less, I was going to get ready for date-night!
I was just about ready and wondering to myself how long I would stay "dolled up" before I put my pj's on and I heard the diesel pulling into the drive!!!!! 
It happened we really went on a date! 
I love date night!  What I love more, is knowing that I'm his priority #1!!  Cooler than that is knowing that our priorities line up together, so even though I'm his priority, our kiddos are our priority!  It all falls in line!
My  heart melted as he told me about telling his boss "I'll come in tomorrow, but tonight, I'm taking my wife to dinner"!
For two hours, we shared food and laughter, stories about both our jobs and our individual and together stories of our kiddos!  It was a perfect night!
I'm so thankful for being taught, by my in-laws, that date night is important, I'm even more thankful that hubby got that lesson too!!
BTW, I'm so glad that mole on Adam has been removed!!  After 15 years of constant watching, I'm so glad it's over and there wasn't anything of concern about it!!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Words/Lines That Made The Difference

Lines/Words that have made a difference in my life.  Either spoken by me to someone else or to me from someone else:

You look happy



Your smile is beautiful

I'll cry with you

I'll pray for you

I'm here for you 

You're never alone

You are my priority

I love you
The last two are the two that have made the largest impact on my life, but the last two are encompassing of all the above statements.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Just a Good Neighbor

When we had neighbors, at the other house, there was a time when the house next door was up for sale!
I spent days and weeks praying for a good neighbor.  I asked for someone around my age with children, but I tried not to push, asking mostly for just a good neighbor!
Not that I didn't have good neighbors already, because we had great neighbors.  But they had lived in their houses for 20+ years!  They were in a different stage of life than I was.  I needed someone in the same stage of life as myself!
At the time, I just waited and prayed.  I had no idea what God had in store for me!
The kiddos and I, only the big one and Ya's at the time, pulled up after working out at the church and there were people moving in next door!
They looked young, like me!  I saw a couple of kiddos!! I couldn't wait to go up and introduce myself!  Answered prayer, I thought to myself!
I'm not sure if I took anything inside my house or if I ran right up their new drive and introduced myself and my kiddos!
I think I scared my new neighbors a bit.  I think they thought they were living next door to a crazy lady.  But they were polite and chatted with me a bit and then  I let them get back to work!
Before long, my neighbor and I were sitting outside, watching our kiddos play and having long conversations about EVERYTHING, helping each other move furniture or paint before the hubby's got home or even chatting on the telephone to each other for hours on end!!! She was pretty candid, very real!  She wasn't afraid to tell me about the good, the bad or the ugly!  I soooo  wasn't there yet!  But I shared good (ONLY)!  I think she knew there was bad and ugly, but she waited on me!
Our neighborly duties turned, almost immediately, into friendship!
Our kiddos became friends and our relationship continued to develop!
As she was able to laugh at life and talk about what wasn't pretty, I started to understand that it didn't change my view of her!  It didn't change who she was, what it did do is make her more REAL to me and I loved her even more because of that!  She was very real and the best part was she wasn't afraid of being real!  She was and is so good for me!  It's because of her, that I laugh more now, I'm ok with being really real, really into life!  Not living some painted picture because I was too afraid for anyone to see any different!  It is/was because of her that I started REALLY living all of life!
On started a new look at life for me! She taught me to be real, right from the moment we met!  She taught me not to take myself so seriously, that I could laugh at life a little and not pretend everything was ok, but to be REAL!
I'm so thankful for my friend that was only supposed to be a "good neighbor"! 

You know it's the start of a beautiful relationship when:  
furniture is being moved, walls are being painted and trees are coming down.....
all before the hubby's get home from work!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

I'm A Faucet.....

Ya'll, it's gotta stop!!

I thought that even I, would have a point where my tears dried up.  
I guess I'm wrong, I'm a stinkin' faucet!  
I can't mak'em stop, 
so could y'all stop blessing me  
stop being so sweet 
just be mean to me for a minute
I've got to get my act together!
(there's no crying on the rr)!!
I don't think I've made one trip to work this week without tears 
I haven't worked one shift without tears streaming down my face at some point!
and it's not because I miss my sister..
it's because you all love her and me so much
It's because your memories are so beautiful
it's because I never once felt alone this week
It's because I have been blessed abundantly-------honestly, more than I could have ever imagined!! 
I need to put make-up on, I haven't worn any in over a week (so NOT like me to go to work without any)


I'm just kidding!!
Thanks to everyone for your time and your prayers, thoughts, hugs, love and memories.  I never imagined ever feeling so blessed in my life! 
Thank you all SOOO much! 

Friday, October 15, 2010

The Planned Day

Some days, I just have to go through the motions.  I just have to do, what I am "supposed" to do and hope for tomorrow!

Some days, I am excited for what I need to do and I don't just go through the motions, I add a lil' extra, I take the extra step, I need to go the extra mile!

Some days, I just need to sit and not "do" any of the to-do list or the supposed to-do list!  I need to put on a certain shirt/sweatshirt, maybe a pair of workout pants and brew coffee all day long and just sit and watch the day go by and just ponder in my mind all the people and things I am thankful for!
A stop and smell the roses kinda day!!

Some days, I need to do all of the above!

But all days need to end the same way:  
a kiss/hug from the hubby that lets me know, I'm going to be ok, no matter what my day was like!  A peek in on the kiddos and see them sleeping snuggled in their beds, safe and sound! 
That's the part where I know my day went as planned 
and not by me!!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

38 years

Today I am posting what I wanted to post yesterday!  Internet went down at home and the phone company is still in the process of repairing and I didn't have time to hit a coffee shop, like I did today!
That being said, I believe EVERYTHING happens for a reason and yesterday just wasn't the day to post!
For 38 years Windy has been my best friend and I am lucky enough to call her my sister.  Although,  she was taken from us when I was only 15 she continues to challenge me to succeed!

For a while my success was really, just breathing!  I wanted the pain of missing her to stop and the only way I knew how was to stop breathing.....Windy stopped me!  Many of times I would hope for life to end and every time I thought it, I could hear my sister telling me "NO"!  and everyday she challenged me to get out of bed!  Always reminding me "I wouldn't want things that way"!  I can still hear her lil cartoon character voice "Christine, get out of bed and quit hiding behind me"!  Some days, I would lay in bed just a lil longer, reminding myself how much Windy enjoyed her rest and sleep!
But everyday she made me get up!  My thoughts of her and my memories compelled me to carry on, more than her loss made me want to give up.
Her go get-it attitude and her "true-to-herself" ways, forced me to head back into life, right back where her and I left off!
The hallways of high school!
When I entered the high school, I realized how much she was loved by everyone and her life HAD to be celebrated, even though it was a short life!  Her personality and her truthfulness, coupled with her great heart for people, her friendliness and her smile....needed to carry on!
But there I stood, no one to hide behind any more, no more coat tails to ride on!  I had to make my own friends and find my own way.......  insert HEART DROPPING here!
Eventually, I realized, Windy had been my "go-to" my friend maker and my confident, but she was also my teacher!  As time went on and I got out of bed each day "just because that's what Windy wanted" I was making my own way, her friends were not just her friends they were mine too and I had friends that were my friends and her friends too!  She had taught me a life lesson in our short time together! 
She continues to teach me every day, she continues to help me grow into a better person every day!  She continues to be a reason why I get up each morning!  She taught me about sweet success in our time together and that my friends is what pushes me forward and on and past.....but it isn't that alone, it isn't even a smidgen of the's relationships with people that move me.....Windy taught me how to have friendships, strong friendships!  That's what moves me past and onward
I wait for the day when I can actually hear her voice tell me she's proud of me, but I am not in a hurry!  I have alot to do and Windy keeps propelling me forward, reminding me that "I wouldn't give up, I'd keep going forward to the next success".   My friend and my sister is gone from the earth but NOT gone from my life, she is a HUGE part of who I am today......
So for 38 years she pushes me onward
I have so many friends and family to thank, throughout the years, their generosity with love has been overwhelming.....much as yesterday was......
Just when I allow myself a lil pitty party, someone steps in and tells me a great memory or that her smile made their day or that she was "just nice" to them.  I am so thankful for all of these wonderful memories and thoughts, it's really the "small stuff" that makes a difference!
and YES some days I just lay in bed and enjoy my rest, because that's what Windy would do!

Monday, October 11, 2010

The Apology

Why are apologies so hard?  It shouldn't be, it's apart of living life.  We are taught in our early ages how to why is it so hard?
I think it's because I have to admit I'm wrong and I hate being wrong, I HATE doing something wrong.  It leaves a pit in my stomach and an ache in my heart.
Even more difficult and heart-wrenching is apologizing to my children.  I'm supposed to teach them right all the time and when I do wrong and I realize it, the guilt is horrendous..........and then to make it right and show them right, I have to admit the wrong and ask for their forgiveness and honestly, I have to be willing to accept that, my child/children may not be ready to accept the apology or forgive me!
Now that's tough stuff!
The positive kiddos are usually very forgiving and today wasn't any different!
More created a new openness in our family, another channel to open up through.
My oldest kiddo has always been extremely (really extremely) open with me.  I want that with all my kiddos.  Lately, my oldest kiddo has begun to close himself in.  I've tried to pull, I've prayed and I've even tried to wait on him.  I pray the waiting is over and I have my openness back with my oldest!
Only time will tell.
Y'know I knew that as my kiddos got older the things they deal with would get more difficult, but I didn't want them to go through it, I didn't want them to have to deal with that difficult stuff.  Truth is, they have too.....they have to learn how to cope, they have to learn how to solve problems and if Mom's always "jumping in" they won't learn any of that!
I'm learning how to take the back seat in my kiddos lives, I'm learning how to wait on them, I'm learning how to let them pray their own prayer......but it's hard......I want to take care of everything for them.  I know that, if I do that, I'm doing them an injustice and I'm  NOT training them up in the way the should go!  I have to learn how to let them "own" their mistakes and "own" the solution (even if it's the wrong one).
After all that's been said, I need to learn how to apologize gracefully and own my mistakes with them, even if it's apologizing for the mistake I made, after I apologized for the first mistake!!!!  UGH
I'm so thankful that, even as a parent, I'm allowed to apologize and that I'm allowed to be forgiven and that I CAN be taught the right way to parent.  I'm also thankful that my kiddos know that I DON'T have it all figured out..........I hope, they have at least learned "the apology" from me!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Small Stuff, REALLY.....

it's the time we are walking through Walmart and Larbo grabs my hand.........
it's the one more quick kiss before the lil one catches the bus
it's the co-worker that says thank you......
it's the big one that takes an extra minute on getting his hair just right
it's the text from a friend that says "I miss you".......
it's the extra quick kiss from hubby before he walks out the door for work......
it's the girl bouncing down the stairs feeling confident cause she feels good..
it's the venting with a cousin
it's the chatty Kathy the big one turns into when he feels good about him
it's the donuts Papaw brings by in the morning just because
it's the wink from across the room, from hubby
it's the pot of coffee that's already made in the morning
it's the hug from a friend
it's the kissy kisses Grandma gives on the phone
it's the flea market find Grandpa drops off on the porch when we're not home
it's the niece/nephew that says something sweet
it's the positive comment on a facebook status.......
it's the concern I hear in someones voice
it's the phone call that says, hey, how are you?
it's the quick cup of coffee I can share with anyone close
it's the dog that curls up on my lap just to get pet
it's sun on the porch on a warm autumn day
it's the "dinners so good mom" I hear
it's the celebration of a good grade I get with any of my children
it's the instructor during workout that makes eye the contact, that says, good job
it's the email that says "good job"
it's the text from a friend that says "WE did it"
it's the <3 on a text or fb post
it's the "I love you" that's spoken at the end of a phone conversation
it's the "kiss the kids for me"
it's the laughter shared with a friend, anytime
it's the email forward, I received
it's the reminder I get about a friend, from another friend.......
it's the extra snuggle at night, just because
it's the compliment when it isn't expected
it's the small positive stuff that makes all the difference in the world!  It's the stuff we don't sweat and just do that  makes the difference,  for me!!!!
I never really thought about it until my coworker (really employee) walked in this Friday and said to me: "Chris you can sleep well tonight"!  I didn't talk about it much at work, but the lunatic on the loose that was shooting people had me crazed and insane and my some of my coworkers realized that and this gentleman, took the moment to come in, before our shift (I'm already working) to smile at me (that I understand you smile) and let me know, he knew I was hurting on the inside!
Then I realized how much the "small stuff" the stuff that doesn't take any time or any effort, how much that stuff really means!  What a difference the small stuff makes!
So as we are not supposed to "sweat the small stuff" what a difference the "small stuff" makes in our lives!!
For me, it's just that moment where you know someone is thinking about you and takes the moment to express it.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

20 Years Waiting - Almost 2 Years in the Making

I think this was a retake of a prom
A prom I wasn't able to attend
SO happy to be apart of it this time!

  I was worried, concerned, nervous, crazed, excited and overwhelmed all at the same time!
I just wanted it to go right!

Then, set-up was done early and we were waiting for classmates and guests to arrive!! 

All the worry, concern, nervousness, craziness were all unnecessary!!  The excitement was right on!  Overwhelmed changed to a different overwhelm, the kind where your just overjoyed! 

Classmates started filtering in little by little!  
a friend a I that reconnected
during the planning stages
The room went from a semi-quiet with a few busy classmates and their spouses setting up, to a room full of talkative, hugging, photographing, catching up classmates! 
Hubby and I. 
I thought we took a pretty good photo


I enjoyed every minute of it!  Even the first part where I was nervous, crazy, concerned and overwhelmed!

It was our first class reunion in the 20 years we have been out of high school!
The almost two years of planning was soooo worth it!  I'm so glad I didn't waste my time and my friends time planning it!!

My husband and I went to high school together and we were in the same class.  We were not high school sweethearts, but we were friends in high school!  When I saw him, having a good time and enjoying himself and catching up with classmates, I REALLY relaxed!  It was right!

The night flew! 
The bar opened a little early, as we were ready early! 
The dance floor was used WAY MORE than I expected,
they were, I mean, we were catching up and dancing at the same time,
we have always been a class of good multi-taskers
(of course that comes from being a class of  "good" procrastinators)!! 
(I'm included in both those statements)

I saw more classmates than I expected. 
Maybe someone said something bad or didn't like something that the reunion committee had planned or did, but I didn't hear anything............

my only regret is that I didn't take my camera, I was too stressed to think about taking pictures or even taking my camera with,
I actually made the decision NOT to take it :(

Monday, October 4, 2010

He's Such A Good Guy!! A People Person!!

I can't wait to post about mine and my hubby's 20 year reunion that I stressed out so bad about!!
I can't wait to tell you that it is his 39th Birthday and me and the kiddos are sending him to work with a lemon cake with awesome lemon glaze and yes, candles!!!!!  And I know his friend (and mine) will make sure the candles are lit!!  Even if I have to call her!!
But after a great weekend and a good day, I'M TICKED!!! 

My Hubby has an awesome heart for people!!  He has a good heart in general, but when it comes to "people" he goes above and beyond!
Which is why, I was so happy to answer the phone for a person he has gone above and beyond for!!  He drywalled her house, 3 (frickin') years ago!!!!!
 My hubby gave up his drywall business that supported us for over fifteen years!!  All due to his, stick-toit-ness!!!  I love him and I love his go-getter attitude and I absolutely love and adore his heart for people!!!
This woman has been on his butt for over 3 years!!  I have let him handle it and be there for her!!  I have watched as he 'did his thing' and took care of business!!  Because that's Larbo!  He goes above and beyond always!!  He makes sure not only his friends are taken care of, but that his clients are too!!
He is an amazing man, and I do admire him!
Much the same as I do, I have discovered over the years, that he looks for me to help him keep his boundaries!!  I look at him for the same for me!!  (My times come way more often)!
My boundaries tend to be tight and Larbo loosens them, by his honest heartfelt explanations!  But tonight it was my turn to step in!
When she called me the "b" word and threw the "f" word in and challenged me that I couldn't stop her!  I  was done!!!!!!! 
My words were quite simple, 3 years later! 
"my husband has gone above and beyond and you are going to make him sick!"  Her response wasn't nice, right down to calling me a liar!!!!!!!  I AM NOT A LIAR!!!!!   I am a wife that loves her sweet husband beyond compare!!!!!!!
Quite honestly, this woman's "beef" is with the builder she had originally and with the taper she allowed in recently!!!!!  The LAST thing I'm going to do is allow my kind-hearted husband to do is to go back there!  She is a pesterer!! She has been taken care of, above and beyond (and even she can't argue with that)!  But now I'm done!  I've explained to her that my hubby's part is done!  She is not to call us any more!  That my hubby has gone above and beyond and that if it takes changing phone numbers to make her leave us alone I will!
My husband is a great guy and he was an awesome business owner and a DAMN good drywaller!!  None of that will EVER be taken into question!!  If it takes me to allow my boundaries to protect us, it's done!!  That's why we are such a good team!  He stretches my boundaries for people and I shorten his boundaries for people!!  We balance!! 
But be prepared my friends.........I am willing to turn mine and his world upside down for our protection!!!!!!!

Friday, October 1, 2010

Not Like This

One day, I'll post pics of me and my weight-loss!  One day, I'll believe it!!
I thought I would do it at 40lbs of weight loss, but I'm so close and not quite there yet!!  I'm so freaking close!!
I had a great day of great choices!!  Except, I came home and in my cabinet, on top of the plates was (I should be writing is, but it really is a was) a bear claw, with my name on it!!!!! 
MY Mom is the most awesome!!  OK, my name wasn't on it!  Maybe it was for Larbo (this is the after talking) but it was yummy!!  There's still half on the plate!!  FOR NOW!!  (Really, I've had enough)!!  But this means, I know tomorrow I won't be posting that pic of me with a 40lb. weight loss!  I'll still, hopefully be at a 38lb loss!!  OH I HOPE!! 
I could have just gone to bed and never looked!!  For some reason, I looked in the kitchen this evening, something I rarely do after returning home from work!! 
FYI:  I still don't see any loss "in the mirror" (which is maybe why I need a photo), I do see it in the sizes I'm purchasing and on the scale!! 
I just wonder, is it possible to have to good of a self image??  Is it possible that an almost 40lb weight loss can go unnoticed, even by the "loser"??  Hmmm, I don't know!  I do know, that it makes sense to me now, why losing weight has been so hard for me all this time!
Hence, the unnoticeable weight loss to me, the bear claw waiting in the cabinet and the fact that I haven't given away any clothing yet, I won't be posting a photo of me with my "supposed to be" noticeable weight loss!! 

Monday, September 27, 2010


So, I'm totally freakin' out!  I've been planning my 20 year high school reunion with about eight other girls!  It's been in the process for about 1 year and 10 months!  Might I add, that this is our FIRST REUNION EVER!!  We have finally reached 100 guests and I am amazed!  This has to go well!  It has to go right!  The "STUFF" isn't done yet!  I have so much more to do, to make it right!!  I'm totally excited, I'm totally stressed!! It's going to happen, done or undone!  This is where the "rubber meets the road"!  I decide what's important enough to stress about and what's not important enough, so I can let go of it!

Classmates get together (we have a place)
They have an ice-breaker (We have speech's, memorabilia, and a  bar)
We have worked very hard
there are over 75 classmates showing up!!!
I'm excited and so are the rest of the girls on the committee!  (I think our support groups are too)!

Doesn't matter!!  We've covered the important.  Anything else is "over the top"!

The part that bother's be most:
We haven't been able to contact everyone!  (no changing that)  We've worked hard at finding everyone and have made every effort!  (gotta let it go, but it's still gonna bother me)!!

Thanks for letting me share, because I have been able to remind myself of what's important!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

God Did Something Right...........AGAIN

I jump up!  Wake up my Adam and then head back to my bed, not to fall asleep but to pretend to!  I yell from my bed "are you up?".  He moves around a bit and finally answers (in THAT teenage voice) "yes Mom, I'm up"!
I hug and try to kiss him good bye a few moments later and if I don't, he comes to my room and makes sure to tell me good bye and maybe a hug and possibly a kiss!  I think here, in this moment MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, we did something right!!!  Thank God we are not left to our own devices of raising children and that He isn't afraid of raising teenagers, cause God has done amazing things right in this kiddos heart!  He is PASSIONATE!!

Friday, September 24, 2010


I get up very early, by choice and I work very late, by choice!
I wake up my kiddos, one-by-one, for school and I get to enjoy a moment with each one of them alone in the morning!  I'll take that and I'll thank God for every moment I am right in front of them to discipline, guide, listen, hug, hold, kiss, correct and lead!
Some days my body chooses to stay asleep and I fight it......"this is the only time you will see them today"!
I definitely get up!
After they have left for school......I have more choices!
Gym or sleep?  No brainer......I pick the GYM!!  I have to, without the gym (workout), I'm fried and I should just turn in the towel and be a sobbing lunatic all day!! So most days, I pick the gym!  Occasionally, I chose the bed again.  When I chose my bed again, it's because my body is screaming louder than my brain!!
After the gym, I have this crazy routine, in order to make sure dinner is made for my kiddos!!  Daddy comes home from work far too tired to make dinner, he just wants to relax!!
Sometimes the routine is a lil different but it is always multi-tasking!!
I throw in a load of laundry and then go start pulling ingredients out of the fridge!
I fold the laundry I just pulled out and then start chopping!
I start another load of laundry and then I finish chopping.
I put on a pan and usually have to heat the oil/butter, so I run through the living room/computer room and pick up!
I throw something in the pan (usually the ingredient that has to cook the longest).
I run up the stairs and start my shower
Run back down the stairs to check the pan.......lower the heat
run back up the stairs and scrub my funky butt as fast as I can!
Jump out of the shower and semi dry off and wrap that towel around me and run downstairs to check on the pan!
This routine continues, up, down, up, down, dressed,  not dressed, dressed,  half dressed, up, down!
Finally, I am dressed and dinner is complete (usually)!
Strap on the boots, cover the dinner, make sure  I haven't forgotten anything for work, make a mental note of the chores that still need to be completed in the house and what each one of the kiddos can handle and then BLAST out the door!
It's going so fast and life seems to go faster now!  I have choices in front of me every day and I try to chose what's right for me and for them!
But some days the choice is back to bed, a long shower and an ordered pizza!!
Good thing is:  The kiddos enjoy these days of different choices!!
I love having choices and choosing right for me and for my family!!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

1 Year

I walked by these photos last night and it stopped me in my tracks!!  These pics are from ONE year ago!!
 These photos are a little more recent!  I know they are growing fast and have changed so much, but it was last night, after coming in from work, I walked by their school photos from last year and WOW!  Such a difference in just one year!
Other Changes for this kiddo, include make-up and alot more time into her daily appearance (thank God for a late start to school for this one)! She comes bouncing down the stairs in the morning once she's ready, but don't interrupt her getting ready, STAY OUT OF HER WAY!!  She is more involvement in school and school activities!  She's way more social and outgoing!  I love it! 

This kiddo appears to be finding himself!  It's not an easy journey!  Freshman year was so difficult for me, I wish it wasn't that way for him, but I think it's that way with everyone!  It appears it's a year we DECIDE who and what we want to be and be about!  He's doing just that!!  He cares about his appearance more than ever!  Spends time doing his hair just right!  He cares more about school and is into it!  I think he has found what he enjoys in school (FINALLY)!  I am amazed at his change of perspective at exercise, he really enjoys it (I see a future workout buddy)!!

Other changes, have happened in a year!  Like this kiddo who wouldn't touch his own fish!  He is now baiting his own hook and taking his own fish off!  Woot!  This means that fishing for me is now HANDS OFF and for a woman that doesn't enjoy fishing, this means I need a better lawn chair and more good books!!  Maybe the fishing will help him to relax and stop stressing so badly!  He's still a little boy and doesn't care about his appearance and has to be reminded (told) to take a shower and brush his teeth, but I know it's only around the corner to where he'll be like the other two and my Mommy job of reminding (telling) will change to a different thing!

Such a difference a year makes!!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Dishin' Dirt

So much going on, so much I can post about......
My MIL has had back surgery and is recovering!  She is not recovering as quickly as she would like to, but she is recovering!  God has had her hand (body) right from the start!  I've HEARD, I haven't talked to her, that her check-up today went well and everything is where it needs to be!  Wow, that's OUR GOD!!  He guides us and holds us and leads us to where we need to be!  He holds our bodies (when we allow Him) and brings us to where we need to be!  It's all a matter or trusting that He has created us and has done so WONDERFULLY AND FEARFULLY!  From the top our head to the tip of our toes!  And He has and MIL does trust that He has been there and has had  the CONTROL all the way!  Pray with me that God continues to bless her with awesome healing and my MIL is up and where she wants to be shortly!
I could be posting on REAL DIRT!  But that is said and done!  Whew!  The biggest thing is that we are in COMPLIANCE and back on track!  I could tell you that I used my connections and my connections didn't realize it until we were back in compliance!  Yep, God is GOOD!
Right now, the dirt is that my anxiety is overboard..........concerned about my MIL, upset with my neighbor (land rights owner, not real owner), WORK, I love being in compliance and it brings me to the edge (I have been told I have done wrong and it was never my intention)!
I am always worried about not being the best parent I can be!  It brings tons and tons of anxiety when I look around at my friends and it appears their children are so compliant and do so well (I want the same for my kiddos) it makes me feel like a failure whenever they fail!  Whenever they bicker, whenever they miss a homework assignment or tell a lie or when they are not compliant in any way!
It stresses me out to realize that I'm not the most supportive wife or that I'm not the most understanding or that I may put my feelings before his!  BECAUSE THAT STUPID ANXIETY OVERTAKES!
My 20 year reunion is right around the corner and I am afraid not everyone will be represented, I really think we were all so close (there was less than 200 in my class)!  If it weren't for all these people, amazing people, I wouldn't be where I am today and I desperately want the chance to thank them!  Many will be there, many will represented during the reunion.....but my worry is that not ALL of them will be there or at lest represented!  Call me selfish if you want!  But I want everyone represented!  I want the chance to thank everyone!  I want the chance to hug everyone and celebrate everyone!
STUPID DIRT!  BRINGS OUT THE BEST AND THE WORST IN ALL OF US!!  It's my real dirt right now, without detail.......this is just a taste of my stupid dirt!!!