This is just an outlet for me, to be able to get my thoughts out! I am a Woman, Wife and Mommy that also works outside the home! Just me trying to make it all work for the best for my family and myself! Just my journey!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

38 years

Today I am posting what I wanted to post yesterday!  Internet went down at home and the phone company is still in the process of repairing and I didn't have time to hit a coffee shop, like I did today!
That being said, I believe EVERYTHING happens for a reason and yesterday just wasn't the day to post!
For 38 years Windy has been my best friend and I am lucky enough to call her my sister.  Although,  she was taken from us when I was only 15 she continues to challenge me to succeed!

For a while my success was really, just breathing!  I wanted the pain of missing her to stop and the only way I knew how was to stop breathing.....Windy stopped me!  Many of times I would hope for life to end and every time I thought it, I could hear my sister telling me "NO"!  and everyday she challenged me to get out of bed!  Always reminding me "I wouldn't want things that way"!  I can still hear her lil cartoon character voice "Christine, get out of bed and quit hiding behind me"!  Some days, I would lay in bed just a lil longer, reminding myself how much Windy enjoyed her rest and sleep!
But everyday she made me get up!  My thoughts of her and my memories compelled me to carry on, more than her loss made me want to give up.
Her go get-it attitude and her "true-to-herself" ways, forced me to head back into life, right back where her and I left off!
The hallways of high school!
When I entered the high school, I realized how much she was loved by everyone and her life HAD to be celebrated, even though it was a short life!  Her personality and her truthfulness, coupled with her great heart for people, her friendliness and her smile....needed to carry on!
But there I stood, no one to hide behind any more, no more coat tails to ride on!  I had to make my own friends and find my own way.......  insert HEART DROPPING here!
Eventually, I realized, Windy had been my "go-to" my friend maker and my confident, but she was also my teacher!  As time went on and I got out of bed each day "just because that's what Windy wanted" I was making my own way, her friends were not just her friends they were mine too and I had friends that were my friends and her friends too!  She had taught me a life lesson in our short time together! 
She continues to teach me every day, she continues to help me grow into a better person every day!  She continues to be a reason why I get up each morning!  She taught me about sweet success in our time together and that my friends is what pushes me forward and on and past.....but it isn't that alone, it isn't even a smidgen of the's relationships with people that move me.....Windy taught me how to have friendships, strong friendships!  That's what moves me past and onward
I wait for the day when I can actually hear her voice tell me she's proud of me, but I am not in a hurry!  I have alot to do and Windy keeps propelling me forward, reminding me that "I wouldn't give up, I'd keep going forward to the next success".   My friend and my sister is gone from the earth but NOT gone from my life, she is a HUGE part of who I am today......
So for 38 years she pushes me onward
I have so many friends and family to thank, throughout the years, their generosity with love has been overwhelming.....much as yesterday was......
Just when I allow myself a lil pitty party, someone steps in and tells me a great memory or that her smile made their day or that she was "just nice" to them.  I am so thankful for all of these wonderful memories and thoughts, it's really the "small stuff" that makes a difference!
and YES some days I just lay in bed and enjoy my rest, because that's what Windy would do!


  1. Robert Duffy - Class of 1988October 14, 2010 at 4:12 PM

    Chrissy - She is a part of all of us that knew her. She will always be remembered fondly by all.

  2. Been thinking of you and praying for you.

  3. There is no friendship greater than the friendship of having a sister, but think of the many women out here who wished they had a sister like Windy. You, even for a short while shared what many will never have the chance to do. Windy was that sister to many who didn't have or wished that their own sister was like. She was a friend to me before and after my baby. Although she was taken at such a young age she had the HEART of an EAGLE. There are sisters out here looking for you to be that sister to them, Windy would want that, and she would love that. Its time you became somebody's sister. Call me sister, Because I see you as one.

  4. I am so happy and proud of what you just wrote Chrissy and honored to be your friend.

  5. Tracey (Tigner) KerwinOctober 15, 2010 at 10:12 AM

    Wow!! Sniffle, sniffle!!! I go thru this every year, and every year is just as difficult as the next but what keeps me going is the freakin hilarious times that we had together even though they weren't long enough! I just sit back and think of the day I first met her, and the day I introduced her to my brother, and certain moments like that and I just start laughing. Even though I am laughing all by myslef and people think I am crazy, I know why I'm laughing and it fills me with joy on the inside!!!! So after reading this, I can totally "see" this happenning as if she were still here. Telling you to "get up", "get motivated", "get it together", and so on! I could TOTALLY see this plain as day!! I'm here for you ANYTIME and I do believe you know this, but I will tell you time and time again so you NEVER forget it!!!! I love you Chrissy!!

  6. I agree with Keith. I too am so honored to be your friend and continue to be blown away by your strength! I love you Chrissy! Your words give me strength!

  7. What a powerful and heartfelt post. Thank you for sharing such powerful love. Keep going forward with love.