Today I am posting what I wanted to post yesterday! Internet went down at home and the phone company is still in the process of repairing and I didn't have time to hit a coffee shop, like I did today!
That being said, I believe EVERYTHING happens for a reason and yesterday just wasn't the day to post!
For 38 years Windy has been my best friend and I am lucky enough to call her my sister. Although, she was taken from us when I was only 15 she continues to challenge me to succeed!
For a while my success was really, just breathing! I wanted the pain of missing her to stop and the only way I knew how was to stop breathing.....Windy stopped me! Many of times I would hope for life to end and every time I thought it, I could hear my sister telling me "NO"! and everyday she challenged me to get out of bed! Always reminding me "I wouldn't want things that way"! I can still hear her lil cartoon character voice "Christine, get out of bed and quit hiding behind me"! Some days, I would lay in bed just a lil longer, reminding myself how much Windy enjoyed her rest and sleep!
But everyday she made me get up! My thoughts of her and my memories compelled me to carry on, more than her loss made me want to give up.
Her go get-it attitude and her "true-to-herself" ways, forced me to head back into life, right back where her and I left off!
The hallways of high school!
When I entered the high school, I realized how much she was loved by everyone and her life HAD to be celebrated, even though it was a short life! Her personality and her truthfulness, coupled with her great heart for people, her friendliness and her smile....needed to carry on!
But there I stood, no one to hide behind any more, no more coat tails to ride on! I had to make my own friends and find my own way....... insert HEART DROPPING here!
Eventually, I realized, Windy had been my "go-to" my friend maker and my confident, but she was also my teacher! As time went on and I got out of bed each day "just because that's what Windy wanted" I was making my own way, her friends were not just her friends they were mine too and I had friends that were my friends and her friends too! She had taught me a life lesson in our short time together!
She continues to teach me every day, she continues to help me grow into a better person every day! She continues to be a reason why I get up each morning! She taught me about sweet success in our time together and that my friends is what pushes me forward and on and past.....but it isn't that alone, it isn't even a smidgen of the reason....it's relationships with people that move me.....Windy taught me how to have friendships, strong friendships! That's what moves me past and onward
I wait for the day when I can actually hear her voice tell me she's proud of me, but I am not in a hurry! I have alot to do and Windy keeps propelling me forward, reminding me that "I wouldn't give up, I'd keep going forward to the next success". My friend and my sister is gone from the earth but NOT gone from my life, she is a HUGE part of who I am today......
So for 38 years she pushes me onward
I have so many friends and family to thank, throughout the years, their generosity with love has been overwhelming.....much as yesterday was......
Just when I allow myself a lil pitty party, someone steps in and tells me a great memory or that her smile made their day or that she was "just nice" to them. I am so thankful for all of these wonderful memories and thoughts, it's really the "small stuff" that makes a difference!
and YES some days I just lay in bed and enjoy my rest, because that's what Windy would do!