This is just an outlet for me, to be able to get my thoughts out! I am a Woman, Wife and Mommy that also works outside the home! Just me trying to make it all work for the best for my family and myself! Just my journey!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Words Of A New Day

the worst words I ever heard:
A few other words were exchanged and I defended my choices and I knew my choices were in alignment!
Of course, as soon as I walked away, I questioned me, my choices and my life.
I couldn't believe I allowed someone to make me question me!
 I came home a sobbing mess!
Met hubby at the door and all he could say was:
Heather (my Just a Good Neighbor) was waiting!
I sobbed some more, stupid stuff and hubby shoved, literally shoved me out the door!
I DON'T NEED SHOVING!  I go out with a smile, it doesn't require movement from someone else.
I was settled in for the "no fruit and bed thingy" (I just wanted to run from everything) and Larbo said goodbye!
Even better was my friend who said "hello and we're leaving"!!!
Then  the words " does she know what your doing?  Does she know who you are?"
I couldn't even answer.......
all I could do was pick up my glass and take a swig
I took stock!  With the help of my friend I looked at me,
I looked at my life, I looked at my family and I looked at my friends
all was in CHECK!!!!!!
My life was in good alignment (mostly)
I backed off of myself
I repeated the scripture, that was NOT part of my daily scripture vocabulary:  He who does the will of my Father in Heaven will enter.  I was calming and finding peace again, in who I was and who I was becoming!
My friend, was allowed, even further into my heart and my life at this time, I really heard what she was saying.  I allowed her to see me hurting and NOT being positive and I was OK, I was better than ok, I was me, really me and she didn't run and she didn't leave, she stayed and she listened and she loved me for me!
The most hurtful words that had ever been spoken to me, threw me in a different direction and they turned out to be a beautiful blessing, I became me!
Best of all, those hurtful words showed me the friend I had that was there all along!
Making the judgment of fruit or no fruit is not for someone else to do, it's a very personal prayer between yourself and God!!
Believe half of what you see and  none of what you hear!!!

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