This is just an outlet for me, to be able to get my thoughts out! I am a Woman, Wife and Mommy that also works outside the home! Just me trying to make it all work for the best for my family and myself! Just my journey!

Thursday, December 30, 2010

The Busy-ness is fun---BUT!!!

I didn't take pictures
and I wish I did!
But I'm a lil embarrassed that I used the refrigerated cookie dough!
(and in my mind I say "get over it honey, it's better this way)
But I had a friend that offered her kitchen!
Mine is still burnt and showing only signs of remodeling 'on the way'!
I wanted to bake cookies
I missed baking cookies, this holiday season...... I really did! 
My friend invited me over to bake cookies to use and abuse her kitchen!!
and I jumped at the thought!
Even more, I thought of how fun it would be to spend the day together!
I took home about 7 dozen baked (store bought, proportioned) cookies!
I spent the entire day with my friend and her son!
My kiddos enjoyed it!
We took the invite and
We ran with it!!  We used it kinda as intended
and then we furthered it!
I got to spend part of the holiday with a friend!
Crazy thing is, we're usually too busy for this kinda fun stuff, during the holidays!!
HMMMM, Another note to Chrissy!!
Time with family and friends and not being stressed about what "needs" to be done or what "should" be done!!
This is it!!  We've been missing this stuff!!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Bestie's Exist?

I have a friend I can tell anything!!!!  I mean anything and everything!
If it's  that I'm mad at my hubby, I can tell her......and she'll love him tomorrow, just like me!  She'll totally agree with me, what an a-hole he is and tomorrow she'll love him, the same as she ever did, or maybe she loves me and he is part of my package, but either way, she still loves him!! 
I have a friend I can tell my deepest darkest secret too and she's still there when I'm finished telling her my secret!
I have a friend I can tell about my children, when they are good, when they are bad and when they are horrible.....I can tell her and she still loves them and me afterwards!
I have a friend that cries with me......that hurts when I hurt and I hurt when she hurts!
I have a friend who accepts me and alll allll allllllll my mistakes and even after she knows all about them, she loves me and she still my friend!
She's the friend that meets me for coffee
that meets me to help me with a child
that listens to me when I'm rambling and doesn't stop me, she helps me continue....she helps me get to the bottom of my rambling.
I have a friend that has the same concerns I do!
She wants her children to be raised properly and to be successful!!  We both want ALL of them set-up for success!
She tells me the truth, even when it hurts!
She'll meet me for chatting when we can make it work!
She cries with me when I cry for my family and I believe she feels my pain!
You know, I feel all the same for her, I hope I am there for her as much as she is me, I hope she can tell me everything and anything!
I'm not sure, but I think this is what "they" call a bestie........I haven't ever been able to entertain the idea, but today I am! 
Is that what your bestie is like?  Is it true, is there really another bestie, after you have lost your bestie, does God really fill that vacancy?  I think He does.......I've never looked at it this way, because 23 years ago my bestie passed away and I knew I would never have another one like her, but I didn't stop to think that God would fill that void of a "bestie"!
It's always been kind of a sweet thought and  a jealousy I've held against my friends........but tonight I stopped to really look at my relationship and I prayed and I asked God, is this it, is this the relationship of a "best friend"?  I want that, I want my daughter to have it and I think she has found it, but my oh my, did I find it for myself?  Has it been under my nose all this time?
I heard God answer me, in my prayer He said, "what does your heart say?" 
I knew, I knew........

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Looking From the Upside.......

I should have been back here much sooner, like the next day!  So that I could tell you, the next day was much much better (as it always or usually is with parenting).
We are headed in a slightly new direction now.  Not off course, but on course, in a new direction (hopefully, the right direction)! 
We sought help and found that there's a different way, that hopefully, will work better, with our oldest.
So, praying and hoping that all goes well, maybe, just maybe the path we are headed down with our oldest will be the right one, for all of us, but most of all, the right path for him.
It isn't the easiest thing to do, asking for help, but raising a teenager isn't easy either.  I can't see just letting things happen, however they happen, I can only see trying new things, getting help and continuing to work! 
The next few weeks is a trial, from there we tweak and change...I guess that's not really different from the parenting we've been doing, just with a little more advice from the outside.
Since raising children isn't something we were born knowing how to do, we're on a learning curve!  Good part is, both Hubby and I are willing to take part and try new things, neither of us are willing to throw our arms up and just let the raising happen, however it happens.  So with much prayer and much love, a ton of research and reading and seeking out help and support, I think we'll find our way through it.....I think, HOPE, we come out on the other side and all of us, the entire family, looks back and says:
We're in a better place now!
See, there's always an UPSIDE, when your down!!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Life Feels Sooo Upside Down......

Everyday I have successes
BUT, everyday I fail!
For some reason, those failures stand out the most and cover up my successes!
I can tell you, I fail as a mommy, a wife, a friend, a supervisor, an employee.........
Y'know, I fail at everything
But I like to think that I have successes in every aspect too!
For some reason, when I fail, I feel like it's epic!
I feel as though I won't recover and the person or duty I have failed won't recover either..
I wonder if everyone goes through this...
As I disciplined my oldest and knew that it was the right thing, I couldn't help but hear that lil' failure voice in my head, telling me I was wrong or that I failed him at some other point in his life and that's why we are, where we are, right now!
Than, from somewhere in the distance, I can hear something about failures and experience....
I know, I'm not supposed to know it all and I'm supposed to learn it as I go.....
But sometimes,
when I look in the eyes of my children
and I know I have failed as a mommy,
I just want to "get it all" and "do it all" right the first time, the deserve my success as a Mommy
I don't want to learn it all, I want to do it all right the first time
The one thing, I cannot stand failing at, is being a MOM (I don't like failing at all)
Unfortunately, I fail at it daily.....
I guess the most important thing is to
learn from mistakes
apologize when needed
pray pray pray
and make sure they know I love them and that I don't want to fail them, as their mom....
I just hope it's enough!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010


That's it, this year! 
No other trees and not even all the ornaments!
It's starting to "look" like Christmas around here! 
Not alot like a Witt Christmas, but like Christmas!
The Kiddos enjoyed it!
They put on the ornaments that are in each of their bins only!  We didn't bring out the "big" box of ornaments! 

Everything has to be ready to be moved!

Christmas decorating is very different this year.  But it's working and we're mostly, happy with it!

But there's boxes next to the tree...

Those boxes hold all our stuff!  The pictures from the walls, the lil set-outs, the candles, y'know all our "stuff"

We have to be prepared when they come in to paint and refinish the floors.

We have to be ready, to be out of the contractors way!

So we are READY (sorta) Can you ever be ready to turn your home over to a someone else?
 But, Christmas is simple this year!

The last minute shopping, which is sooooo not like me, isn't even making me crazy!

I'm under the idea, if the gift is found and purchased, it's good and if the right gift isn't found and purchase, it's good!


I won't be cooking in my home this Christmas and I'm already missing that part!
 I've discovered, there are some things that I really enjoy about the Christmas Season

I enjoy baking tons and tons of cookies!

I enjoy the "busy"of this time of year
I really enjoy that 'hustle n bustle' we sing about! But NOT the crazy busy!!

I enjoy the excitement of the kiddos!

I enjoy the cooking!

I REALLY ENJOY the decorating!
So, as we celebrate this year, VERY SIMPLE.....

I'm taking notes of what is really missed and what we can do without!

It's a good lesson for me....there's alot I can cut out and there's a few things I can put more time into!

I can chill out a lil more and enjoy the fun busy a lil more!

Next year, tons of cookies and maybe only 1 tree again, 
but ALL the decorations!!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

What to Do, What To Do

I don't have any Christmas decorations up!
I don't have any wrapped gifts out!!
I don't even have my "fake" wrapped gifts out!
I haven't made any bows!!!!
If you know me at all, you know I find comfort and stress relief, in making bows and wrapping presents!
Think I'm going to have to go dig out my ribbon and wrapping paper!
I think I may just have to put up a tree!
The other half of me says:
Deal with it!
Celebrate Christmas this year, by only being decorated in your heart!
Simply wrap, simply!
Those few gifts you have purchased, wrap them and pile them!
Teach the kiddos that Christmas isn't about the STUFF!!
Then I go back to the
other half of me:
The baking cookies, at Christmas time, bring more time together and the kiddos love it!
The kiddos love learning how to make bows and seeing the pretty presents wrapped!!!
I need my stress relief---wrapping presents and making bows!!!!!!
I love making ornaments with the kiddos and I think they like it too!
Not sure which half will win.....but I'm pretty sure,
both sides are right on and both sides are slightly "off"!!
I love that Christmas time brings on that "creating more time" for the fam!
That there are things, about Christmas and all the stuff, that we do as a family, that we enjoy!!
This figuring it out thing STINKS!
I was trying to get myself geared up to "only decorate my heart" for Christmas!
But I miss all the other stuff and each one of the kiddos, miss something about our preparations for Christmas!
Are they all necessary?  NOPE!
Will we "do" our traditions or will we spend time together differently this year!???
I don't know!
Maybe tomorrow I'll make a bow and wrap a gift and we'll all be ok!
Or maybe, I'll go buy a tree!  Maybe, we'll take over someones kitchen and make cookies!
I wish I had this thing figured out......I wish both my 1/2's lined up!

edited much later, to tell you.........
If my house were normal and I didn't have to worry about moving things for contractors, it would be, ME, decorating and baking like crazy, like every year.....
but this year, everything has to accommodate, the rest, in order to get my house in order!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010


Yesterday was my sister's birthday!
The memories of celebrating her Birthday with her, still warm my heart.  But then, they make me miss her more. 
I made my way through it, just know, they way one does every year!
There were a couple of moments that touched me deeply yesterday!
One was, my daughter left a post on my FB page and said:  Happy Bday Aunt Windy! 
So, touching!  I don't even think my daughter knows how it touched me and also, how sad it made me.  The two never got to meet........but my Windy, gets my Windy!  That's something!
The other was the phone call from my Mom, checking on me!  It's always, short and always sweet, but it's a moment where we connect and we know why and we know we need each other.
Mom always says she loves me and the phone call is ended......
Happy Birthday to my Sister!  There isn't a day that goes by that she isn't thought about, loved, celebrated or honored.....but her Birthday is still a especially special. 
Today, I am thankful, I have a sister and that I did get time to get to know her and that we shared a sister-friendship!

Monday, December 6, 2010

If We Would've Believed Our Parents!

I never believed my parents or my hubby's parents about how difficult raising children can be!
Hell, if I would have really LISTENED, we wouldn't have ever given them grandchildren!
So my thought is, they wanted us to know and they wanted us not listen.........they love love their grandchildren and I love my children!!!
But whoa, if you would've convinced me that what our parents were telling us were true it would be different today......
I'd be a parent to no one!
I'm so thankful to be a parent!!!  I love my children and they have blessed me immensely!!  I love being parent and I love my children!
My children are beautiful and a challenge!
Each one of them are different!!
Each one of them are a different challenge!
Each one of them require different challenges and different discipline skills!
It's a challenge and it isn't easy!
I'm learning and so is my hubby!
But this raising kiddos thing, ain't for the faint of heart!
Raising these kiddos requires all heart and all love and strength!
I'm thankful for my guidance in the bible, but I'm even more thankful in my guidance in prayer!
Raising kiddos takes alot out of us!!
But always worth it! 
Each one of them requires different discipline and that's what adds so much difficulty!
I think all 3 of them are great kiddos with an awesome heart!  In order to continue that....we need to continue searching for the best way to discipline each one of them, individually!
Raising kiddos ain't easy!!!!
I'm so thankful we didn't take our parents at face value and I'm so thankful we have our kiddos!!!!!!  It ain't easy, but it's right!!!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Where Are The Decorations.....

Still trying to come to grips with setting my kitchen on fire!  It's tough, it's a tough thought to know, that I caused the problem.  However, my head immediately takes over and my heart is calmed.
There's alot to be done, the fire damage is only in the kitchen, the smoke and soot damage has taken over my house!
My house is getting cleaned, every corner, every high spot and every hidden notch!  Sure, it will be nice WHEN IT'S DONE!!  We have  been sharing our home with strangers for a week now!  They aren't really strangers any more....actually, two very nice ladies and I'm happy to have the chance to get to know them!  But I am missing my time in my home!  Once the cleaning crew shows up, I try to stay out of their they can do their job!
Then we will be sharing our home with a few different contractors, that we have been meeting along the way!
There's the list, we have to list EVERYTHING that was damaged by the fire or the smoke or the soot!'s an extensive list and every time I think it's done, I come across something else!
The fire/smoke smell is still very predominant in our home!  It sucks!  Every time I open my door, before I get to look around, smell hits me and I'm reminded of what happened!  I'm also reminded of how thankful I am that I get to come home, to my HOME!
I haven't put up any Christmas decorations'll just get in the way of progress!  I like my Christmas decorations....I like the change in the house.....I like the upbeat of the Christmas Season....I love the Reason for the season.........but we're not "in it" this year, YET!
No baking cookies either!
It's tough and I've resolved myself to not having a house until after the Holidays!  That's a tough one! 
But, it does give me time to really put things into perspective....make the season in my heart and not so much the "stuff"!
It's a lesson I'm learning!  I always thought I "got it" but I'm realizing I can "get it" more!  So, I'm celebrating Christmas a new and different way!  I'm decorating my heart and rearranging and pitching what doesn't belong,  in my head......
I'm learning a new way to celebrate the Season! 
So when you see my house and there's no decorations and you wonder if we celebrate Christmas....look into our hearts, we're decorated in there!