This is just an outlet for me, to be able to get my thoughts out! I am a Woman, Wife and Mommy that also works outside the home! Just me trying to make it all work for the best for my family and myself! Just my journey!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Life Feels Sooo Upside Down......

Everyday I have successes
BUT, everyday I fail!
For some reason, those failures stand out the most and cover up my successes!
I can tell you, I fail as a mommy, a wife, a friend, a supervisor, an employee.........
Y'know, I fail at everything
But I like to think that I have successes in every aspect too!
For some reason, when I fail, I feel like it's epic!
I feel as though I won't recover and the person or duty I have failed won't recover either..
I wonder if everyone goes through this...
As I disciplined my oldest and knew that it was the right thing, I couldn't help but hear that lil' failure voice in my head, telling me I was wrong or that I failed him at some other point in his life and that's why we are, where we are, right now!
Than, from somewhere in the distance, I can hear something about failures and experience....
I know, I'm not supposed to know it all and I'm supposed to learn it as I go.....
But sometimes,
when I look in the eyes of my children
and I know I have failed as a mommy,
I just want to "get it all" and "do it all" right the first time, the deserve my success as a Mommy
I don't want to learn it all, I want to do it all right the first time
The one thing, I cannot stand failing at, is being a MOM (I don't like failing at all)
Unfortunately, I fail at it daily.....
I guess the most important thing is to
learn from mistakes
apologize when needed
pray pray pray
and make sure they know I love them and that I don't want to fail them, as their mom....
I just hope it's enough!


  1. Oh Chrissy I wish I could give you a big hug. One thing that you are not is a failure. I have beat myself up many many times wondering if I could have done something different as a mom. We have to do the best we can and pray that God will direct us as a mom. I know I was a push over at times and I should have been more strict, but we can second guess ourselves until we make ourselves sick over it. I learned that taking the situation before God in prayer is the best way to handle it. I look at my grown kids today and thank God that even though I might have failed in my mind so many times, it must have not been all that bad cause they are great adults and parents and best of all serving God. Hang in there sweetie...You are a Great Mom and person. Hugs!

  2. I always feel like I am ALWAYS doing it wrong. But, we are human and as long as we are loving and have good intentions... that's what matter's more!


  3. I am so glad you were able to post your feelings. I am glad I was able to open your link and read your true feelings. I am delighted that you are a caring mom, and wife in your family arrangement. Unfortunately, so many people would love to have your life. To be able to be a wife and to have children but unfortunately they can't.The point is that you have a wonderful opportunity that many have but not all. Therefore, be happy with the opportunity you have been given. Wanting to be a great mommy is a good thing and being able to express your feelings of inadequacy to your children will help them to see that you are not perfect but you do love them and that you do want to be the best mom for them always. I truly did appreciate when my mom would talk to us about how she felt. It truly helped me to see that she was a real person and that she had feelings, and fears just like me even though she was an adult. Now that I am grown and own my own, when I run into similar situations I am able to recall how my mom felt about certain things and that it was okay to be a bit afraid. Sharing your life with your husband and your children is a very rewarding job and taking the time to discipline them out of love is a wonderful thing(Proverbs 29:15 and Proverb13:24 and your children need to know Proverbs 19:20). We know that raising children in this time is extremely difficult but making the effort to do so and to fight to save your chidren's lives is worth it. I like that you reflect on your parenting skills daily, this will only help you to get better. Also, you said the key statement, if you make a mistake saying you are sorry sounds volumes for childrena and praying to God for guidance is the sure way to get help. But God talks to us by means of his word the Bible so we have to read it in order to get God's thoughts on a matter. I know it is hard but taking it one day at a time and thinking before speaking and thinking harder before doing will help you to avoid many mistakes and it will help you to enjoy being a mother to your children. However, as you fight to be a good mother to your children do not forsake your husband. Your husband needs you too and remember your children will grow up very soon you will always have your husband so learn to attend to his needs too! Having a family discussion with your husband privately on what he would like you to improve on and vice versa then having a meeting with the whole family to see the needs of the family will greatly increase your joy and your love for each other. My husband and I have a weekly Bible discussion centered on what we as husband and wife can do better.
    We work on these things and give each other up dates throughout the week. This helps us draw closer as a family and solves any disagreements smoothly (Proverbs 31:10-12). Enjoy your family each and everyday. Continue to put your best foot forward everyday and give it all you have and at the end of the day Jehovah God(Psalms 83:18) can replenish you as you read his word the Bible . Please be comforted by doing your best, it will pay off in the end. Continue to pray for guidance and rely on God to give you strength. Have a great day! And again thank you for sharing your thought! : )