This is just an outlet for me, to be able to get my thoughts out! I am a Woman, Wife and Mommy that also works outside the home! Just me trying to make it all work for the best for my family and myself! Just my journey!

Saturday, October 13, 2007

I cannot believe it has been 20 years.....

So it is October 13, 2007.
20 years ago I lost my sister because someone made the choice to take her life!
Yes, it still hurts, and yes I still miss her! Yes, I think about her daily. We were 13 months apart and even closer as friends and as sisters! I think we shared an awesome relationship. I am thankful for the 15 years I had with her and for her 16 years on the earth!

No, I don't think God did this to me. Yes, I think God worked things for GOOD!!!
So today I kept my family close. Took them shopping and out for lunch for Pizza!! No, the kids didn't know why they weren't allowed to go on with their friends, all they knew was mama wanted them close. My husband knew and my mom who was with us needed this closeness also! I talked with my dad today, he just kept busy, very busy! I know it hurts him and I wanted him with us today, but God had other plans for him and as long as God is keeping him close and Dad is keeping Him (God) close, my dad will be fine!!
We shopped, they bowled, we took pictures, we ate and they acted silly and even got a little serious once!! The dog even got in on it!!
I am still a mom, I am still a wife I am still a child of God I am still a sister to Windy and still a daughter to my mom and dad. I still have so much to be thankful for and so much to look forward to. Life is awesome and can be sad, one thing for sure, God's love is forever and always His love is through it all!!!!!!!
One song kept popping in my head today: Don't Blink There is another one I think of often, it was the song Windy was named after by the Association (an oldy) and always brings tears of joy to my eyes!
I know life would not have ended up the same but I wish she was here to enjoy it with me. I wish I had a sister to share with I wish so many things.... I do not have to wish for the closeness of family and family and friends I think of like sisters and enjoying watching my children call people aunt and know that I absolutely feel they are my sisters and they are their aunts! God can redeem all for good.
I remember my sister's First Communion that meant so much to her, I remember watching her make her Confirmation and her friend Kelly standing in with her, the way she answered the Bishop's questions with confidence! I remember the first time, the only time, she told me she was in love!! I remember my mom teaching her how to drive and laying down in the backseat because it was a little unnerving!!
2o years and not one person can take away memories, I have them and love my memories!! Thank God for Grace and Mercy and Love!!!
Thank you to friends and family who have and continue to pray. Please pray for my mom and dad I want them to make it through the next 10 years with Grace, Mercy and Love only God can Grant!!


  1. Chrissy, on the one hand it breaks my heart to read about all the feelings that you have about the loss of your prescious sister, but on the other, I see what a powerful witness God has made of you, because of this tragedy. It is good to hear how many vivid memories you have. Windy is never totally gone as long as she lives on in those memories.

  2. I send my love and encourage you to keep writing. My prayers are with you and your family. May God continue to strengthen you. Love, Cousin Holly

  3. You write beautifully about your sister and all of your memories.
    I am glad you were able to spend this hard day with your family close.
    I just wanted to tell you I really like the name Windy.
    Thanks for visiting my blog.

  4. I had no idea your sister died so young. Keep her memory alive....


  5. what a wonderful day you made out of it...


  6. Such a sweet post Chrissy. You do have a beautiful family.

  7. Everyone is so sweet. Thank you for your comments and concerns but most of all thanks for encouragement and prayer! A thousand times thanks!

  8. Chrissy, I'm so sorry for your loss and what you've been through. Today marks eight years since we lost my stepmom. These 'anniversary' days are hard. Thank God we've got people we love to be near us and keep us focused on happiness. I'd hug you if I could!

  9. You brought tears to my eyes. You are amazingly positive and grounded in God. Chrissy, You rock:-)

  10. Dear Chrissy, it has taken us 20 years to get through this. I left my career and started working for my church, it was all I wanted to do, and really all I could do. I am grateful to God for you, and so grateful you are here. To lose two girls would have been more than April and Pat could have born. Much love to you and your wonderful little family. All my love, Granma BB