This is just an outlet for me, to be able to get my thoughts out! I am a Woman, Wife and Mommy that also works outside the home! Just me trying to make it all work for the best for my family and myself! Just my journey!

Monday, December 17, 2007

My head is going to explode!

Here it is as of today:

I work alllllll of the upcoming holidays! Not til afternoons, but that leaves little time for celebration, like I enjoy with my family. This is what I get for trying to go beyond!

I was and am sooo oooo ooo thankful that I made it home last night, safe and sound. Hindsight says I really should have gotten a hotel room. 2 1/2 hours later after leaving work says I was sooo happy to be home in one piece! I haven't ever prayed with so much intensity while driving! God is GOOD!

It is winter in NW Indiana!

Why did we get rid of the snowplow on the truck? (something about plowing being hard on the truck and damaging it, whatever)

Shoveling is not so much fun, or as my Hubby would say, Not-so-much-so-good!!

I read the sweetest email tonight, it actually made me cry! It was one of those that everyone passes around! I really don't like crying at those!

That reminds me I need to order more meds! I take daily scripts to fight depression and anxiety, I know alot of us are on them and find it to be a good thing. It did take me a long time to admit it is a script I need and that it helps me just to be me. Much of the need is associated with post-traumatic-stress-disorder (everyone can relate). Because I can never know when it is going to hit hard, I am on a strict script for probably the rest of my life. Not something that has been easy to admit. One woman explained it to me as though it were a script for glasses or diabetes meds, and you know she was right, I do need these and I am now ok with saying that!

I have toooooooootally fell off the diet wagon! Exercising is great, but when I am not eating right it sure does take a toll! (The cruise added 3 pounds also).

I am not sure about work, I know I can do it, but I don't know if I will help the employees any better than the supervisor they have! I really believe they have been beat up on for a long time and hope to help rebuild morale, but I am worried that things won't go the way I want!

I sure do love waking up with my children in the morning and helping them to get the right start to their day. This is something I truly miss!

I can always here these words coming out of my mouth: I was a stay-at-home mom for 12 years!!! This is one thing I am sooooooooo proud of.

I just wish I could make my children tell me what is going on all the time! They came home with not so great progress reports and I couldn't help but ask myself: How am I failing them to make them fail? and discovered that they just needed even more strict boundaries, it is not only the parents but also the kids!

Too much rambling sorry! I do have a heavy mind and a very heavy heart! I think we all ask ourselves constantly, "am I doing the right thing?" either for myself, my marriage, my family, my friends, my life!

Gosh, am I the only one who goes through this stupid stuff!?

1 comment:

  1. Oh Chrissy, you know you're not! I'm on the meds and barely getting by right now. Once again, I took on too much, but only because I wanted to. I guess I don't know my own limitations.
    Thanks for the rambling! It makes me feel not-so-alone in my crazy thought patterns.
    We had the same problem this year! Great grades up until this year. What am I doing wrong here? We have yet to figure it out. All I know is nothing can be done until I get a chance to regroup over Christmas break. I'm about to break and can't handle much else.
    Sorry for the long comment. Maybe we could go out for breakfast while the kids are out on break (all of, me, and kids.)