She walked in the front door and I could see the hurt on her face..maybe she wasn't feeling well? I waited to see if she would tell me what was going on or how she was feeling...
Nothing.....just small talk.
I couldn't wait anymore so I asked, "are you OK, is everything alright?"
her reply was "I'm fine, maybe a little sick"
"OK, if that is all it is, I hope you feel better soon"
Our conversation moves to small talk and silliness, but I can still see hurt in her eyes. All I can think is how can I help? I know that look on her face, I know that in some way I have been in her place, how do you help when someone doesn't want it?
After a while, something in our conversation brought out part of an issue or hurt that was on her mind, so I continue to listen to what is going on this young woman's life. She is a newly wed, very newly wed and should be thrilled and enjoying her new life (not always true, but what I would like to believe). She is truly hurting and feels bad that she is hurting.
My experience as a newly wed was not all peaches and roses either (my memories all come back!) We jump into marriage thinking it is going to be perfect but we need to work at perfection and sometimes it just hurts.
How many times have women been here? Feeling as though maybe we are wrong for having our feelings hurt or being upset by something that happened and not having our feelings validated?
I'm not talking about abuse or abandonment, I am talking about the part of learning to be married and how to deal with each other at first and how it hurts so bad to feel alone in a marriage even though our spouses actually feel alone also!!!
I want to jump in and fix everything for her and I can't all I can do is offer a hug and a few words of advice:
Enjoy a Date night with your Husband.
Keep close friends
Enjoy being alone with you (once in a while)
Confide in your husband, do not stop talking to him, love him enough to let him in
Your feelings are real and emotions are a gift
Sometimes husbands don't hear us the same way our friends hear us and it is OK to confide in a good friend!
As a friend to me Pray for my friend, she really is learning how to be a new wife and how to be so many things at once. I almost forgot how hard the first couple years of marriage were until I saw her face, sometimes it really hurts just to have feelings!
I know there were times I wish I could have been numb. However, later in life I am so thankful for those feelings early on and that I wasn't numb and that I didn't toughen up! Thank God
"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." (2 Cor. 12:9)