I am blessed, impressed, pleased, disappointed and angered by my kiddos, daily! I go from "oh wow" to "oh WOW, are you serious?" Daily.
I can be totally belly laughing and then immediately stern face disciplining (faster than a heartbeat)
It really does get to me!
I love that we get to celebrate moments and that all victories are celebrated, but it seems like every victory has a correction or two, waiting around the corner!
I miss the days of short quick discipline!
No such thing as quick and short discipline any more, in our house! Every correction needs to be corrected carefully and with the care for further in life!
These kiddos are closer to leaving home, then they are staying home! They are all closer to college than they are the days where they slept in a crib or the bassinet in my room!
There is tons of training and strict training everyday. There is tons of prayers that go up daily for my kiddos (and I'm sure from them). I wish they could just magically understand, but they don't, they have to learn! I have to teach them! The real learning comes from learning a lesson on their own! I want to protect them from that, but I know I can't and so many of times, for me, it's a watching and waiting game (lil advice here and there) and then the truth and the discipline take place. The most difficult lessons they are learning, haven't required discipline, they have required an understanding heart an open-mind and a completely open ear (so I HEAR/HEART everything).
Thus here I am, waiting for my next opportunity to help with life lessons, not always to pick up the pieces and put them back together, most of the time it's to help them sweep their pieces in a pile, scoop them into the dust pan and throw them into the garbage, just to have them start from ground zero AGAIN!
It's heart wrenching and awesome at the same time! Their moments of victory are amazing, beautiful and thrilling! There moments of correction are, amazing, beautiful and thrilling, but never at that moment, we have to get there!
My heart aches to help them grow up respectfully and my heart aches when the choice made is a bad one! My heart leaps when they make good choices and when they have their "aha" moment!
I had a friend tell me a lil over a year ago (about the lil ones they were raising), "Chrissy, this is hard, it's really hard, I didn't know it would be this hard!"
I quoted back: "just remember to enjoy it and remember lil kids, lil problems, big kids, big problems"
I don't like eating my words...........I do love the kiddos we are raising, even with their "bigger problems" and their many many MANY corrections, and I will take my other words............and I will ENJOY IT!