RIP RUNNIN & ROARIN

This is just an outlet for me, to be able to get my thoughts out! I am a Woman, Wife and Mommy that also works outside the home! Just me trying to make it all work for the best for my family and myself! Just my journey!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Sabotage

I have learned something new about myself lately. Maybe I have noticed it before, but now I recognize it!
I sabotage myself, constantly!
I can't believe I am actually saying this!
It's true, it's very honestly true!
I sabotage myself in going forward in so many goals!
It is beyond me, that someone who is soooo goal oriented as I am, can constantly sabotage herself!
I started to recognize this reality a little while back. To be quite honest, it is because of this "weight-loss journey" I have seen it!
A while back I got on the scale and I was only 3lbs away from goal number 1! OK, goal number one was twenty pounds, easy right? Not for me!
Any who, I was 3lbs away and two days later, I was 10lbs away! Are you frickin' kidding me!
I look back and see my exercise habits haven't changed, but my eating habits have!
OK, BACK ON TRACK! Don't get discouraged and move forward, I tell myself!
oh and I did, every time, I DID and I DO! Back on track! Back to 3lbs from goal number one! Two days later, 10lbs. away from goal one! Are you frickin' kidding me????!!
I look back on the last few days of diet and exercise and I see food has changed, exercise and goals haven't!
Wow, ohhhh wow! This has been going on for quite some time! I have been on my "weight-loss journey" since OCT-FREAKING-TOBER!
Well, now I am looking around, and I can see other areas, for myself, where I have sabotaged myself! Honestly, when it comes to hubby and the kiddos, any inkling of not meeting my standard, I get-it-together and I put my ducks in a row! No sabotage in life with my hubby and kiddos, it is only on myself! I see it in all areas that, quite honestly, pertain to me, work, prayer life, friendships, work-life, weight-loss. Of course all the previous areas, can in some ways have an effect on my hubby and kiddos, but until the changes have honestly been made, they don't really notice!
That's where I am at! I realize I constantly sabotage myself!
This is it, this is as far as I have made it. I realize I am my own problem.
Now what Chrissy? What's next? How are you going to beat your own sabotage?

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