5 years ago, I just wanted a job. Something to bring in money in order to help our family move and maybe take some of the stress off of my husband!
When a friend said "apply at the railroad"! Ha, I laughed and then I applied and I applied and I applied, I just wanted a job, any job that would give us health insurance and pay a couple of bills! That's it!
4 years ago, I received that job! I was hired as a coach cleaner and I was elated! I was blessed. I really think I could have stayed in that position. I could have done my job and come home, not striving for any more and not proving anything to myself or others. Scratch that last statement, yes I could have stayed in that position, but without striving for more, I would have been miserable! Thankfully, I am surrounded by family and friends that cheer me on and I work for a company that believes in growth.
3 1/2 years ago, I was accepted into a program that trains, up and coming first line supervisors! wohoo!
2 years ago, I was finally given a First Line Supervisor position. I was now a foreman on the railroad! Wohoo!
Yesterday, I felt stagnate and eroding. I set out for more in the beginning, so why in the world am I standing by, just going through the motions of my position.
Today, I realize, I'm BORED!
I set out for more, I set out to prove something to myself! Sure it would be nice to prove it to others, but quite honestly, it doesn't mean as much as when I say to myself, YOU DID IT!!
Yesterday, I took time to reevaluate where I am going and how I am going to get there! Now, in this career I am not quite sure where exactly I want to end up, but I know it's not where I am at right now! I am positive it is not, not learning anymore about cars/locomotives and it's not, not learning any more about being in a leadership position, that being said, I know I want to learn and be taught more more more, I want to take all the training and education in I can!
I would loooove to prove something for myself and other women, because I am really so tired of the phrase "it's hard for him to accept you because, quite honestly, your a female"! REALLY REALLY!! I thought we lived in 2010, and then I am reminded that I work with people that are dinosaurs!
Today, I realize, I am not finished and I still have potential and I am NOT stagnate! Today, I realized I am going to move forward and though I may not change things for women, I will change things for me and best of all I will prove to myself, that I really can do this! I AM doing this and I WILL do this better!
I think the hardest thing is proving things to myself!
SERIOUSLY, can we get rid of the "dinosaur thinking" already! I'm done, I'm so done just fighting to prove, that I can do it and that my mistakes are no more and no less than any other person in my position, I am equal. Guess what, when I get mad I'm still gonna cry and I'm still going to use my form of 'curse words', yep I'm still gonna say "it sucks rocks" and I am not going to use those crazy curse words the dinosaurs use (it's really ugly), but these things don't make me any less of a leader than a man in my position.
I really wish we weren't still at the stage (I really thought we passed this up a loooong time ago) where people thought women weren't capable of being good leaders, I really thought we were past that!
My dinosaur friends: It is time to accept and help or it is time to RETIRE!