This is just an outlet for me, to be able to get my thoughts out! I am a Woman, Wife and Mommy that also works outside the home! Just me trying to make it all work for the best for my family and myself! Just my journey!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Clarification, I Hope

After I posted the last post, Makin' Me Laugh, and receiving a few comments and after rereading it, I realized, it honestly didn't all come out how I wanted it too!
A lil explanation here, maybe it will clarify it for me!
There are two different stories in side that post!
The first was how such a small little gesture of such a small boy, Mitchy, cracked me up and created a good memory, in the midst of what I thought (at the time) was heart-wrenching!
The second part, which I really didn't get out at all, was that it was a beginning to a new beginning! A new outlook! A fresh approach! I was ready for it, I just didn't realize it at the moment! I let my "hurt feelings" get in the way of what was honestly beginning!
At that time in my life, I was soooo busy "creating the picture" that I forgot to really live! Honestly, live! I used to try to keep up with, what I thought, I was supposed to do and missed out on what I needed to do! I used to allow the "perfect picture" drive me! Oh and it drove me, quite insane at times! My family, was picture perfect! (ugh, gag me)!! Seriously, I thought I had it all together and could do it all, alone or with a partner, it didn't matter! I had a picture of strength I needed to keep up! See that whole "creating a picture" thing! At the time, when these incidents were going on, I was seeing myself as fragile! I really didn't like what I saw, but it was real! The beginning of a new beginning for me! I went home and started, very honestly, putting my family first! Even if that meant skipping church! Don't get me wrong skipping church service has absolutely nothing to do with praying, reading and hearing from God! I continued at church, when we could go and it didn't hurt anyone to go! We even began to enjoy this thing they call "sleeping in"! It was beautiful and we have grown closer as a family because of it! The "picture" is not as much of a drive for me anymore, living life is a DRIVE, a real drive! I enjoy hearing what's really going on, not only in my life, but in my children's lives and in my husband's life! I slowed down and started living! I put the Polaroid away and began painting my own picture of life! My prayer is that my children continue to "paint" their own picture in life and not try to live up to someone Else's thoughts and ideas for life and that they don't get caught up in the "perfect picture" problem!
On a side note: This is for me too! So many times, when my children were small, I took them tons of places by myself! Many times struggling to keep them altogether or having two of them, even all three at times, fall asleep! One mom carrying two/three children, is not really something that can happen! It's OK to ask a parent if they want help with their children! It's really OK, to help a Mom or a Dad to their car with their children! It's OK at the grocery store parking lot, to stop someone else's child from running in front of a car! It's ok! If they don't want your help, they will tell you!

1 comment:

  1. I really love this post Chrissy. Sounds so familiar when my kids were small. It's like I was trying to please everyone else when the most important people I should have been worried about were right under my roof. I tried so hard to make my house look picture perfect and be at church when the doors opened every service and going thru the motions of life. I feel that I missed out on so much, but no more! I love how you do it all and are still raising a wonderful family. And, I love your uplifting comments on my blog.