This is just an outlet for me, to be able to get my thoughts out! I am a Woman, Wife and Mommy that also works outside the home! Just me trying to make it all work for the best for my family and myself! Just my journey!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Growing Pains

As I have been looking back on my last year of goal seeking and changes, I am seeing a few things I learned without even realizing it or maybe just without giving the proper thanks for the training and teaching I have received!
I know I have talked about my goals for last year alot throughout this last year and this year, but it was to become a better friend.
More reality I recently received, was that along with being a good friend to others, I need to be a good friend to me!
I am not a friend of my children and I am not sure if or when that will ever change(a reality I have always known).
A couple of my realities that I have been able to be thankful for, only recently:
Some friendships are worth the effort and others are just too high maintenance. This doesn't mean I stop loving or caring, it just means, it's time to stop putting time and effort into those relationships.
I have learned that fewer focused friendships are far faaarrr better than many "top-surface" friendships!
I have learned that just because you have a good laugh with someone, doesn't make them a "friend", acquaintance is the proper term for this kind of relationship.
I have learned that a few friendships will be there for only a time and require effort and energy and soon each of us will move on. This doesn't mean it isn't right to be friends with people just for a season! It's totally right on the mark!!! Some are only for a season and that's really OK!
I have learned that few friendships, honestly, stand the test of time and to be blessed with such a friendship is far and few between!
I have learned that girls/woman (ok me) find growth in all these different types of relationships.
I have, seen myself pull away from a few relationships, as they become detrimental to me and that's a great reality! To be able to see when a relationship is going to far one way or the other. To be able to see that, sometimes the giving becomes too much and takes away from relationships that are necessary and need that time. One year ago, this thought would have hurt me, all good realities come in due time. For me, this reality hit the mark!
As far as being a good friend to me, it was the realization that it's ok to put more into some friendships and less into others and it's ok to have a few acquaintances. It's quite honestly, ok to share a laugh and not give of my heart, to just enjoy the moment of laughter. It's ok to be a shoulder to cry on for a moment, for a friend or an acquaintance.
The biggest reality for me is that it's ok to want that friendship I used to have and know/understand it will never be replaced. That spot in my heart for my friendship with her is filled with lots and lots of great memories and it's ok to leave them there and not try to, clean it out and fill it with a different friendship. The effort and energy that has been placed in replacing that needs to go to another area. Instead of that being a part of hurt/concern, this piece of my heart becomes a place of peace, strength and enjoyment.
I am truly thankful for the direction given in this area of my life. The reality of this goal sometimes hurt and honestly, I didn't expect that! I thought this would be an all fun goal, sometimes it was fun. There were many growing pains with this goal and I am sure many more to come. I'm so thankful for this being placed on my heart and for the realities, truths, strengths and weaknesses it has brought to the front for me.

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