This is just an outlet for me, to be able to get my thoughts out! I am a Woman, Wife and Mommy that also works outside the home! Just me trying to make it all work for the best for my family and myself! Just my journey!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Dishin' Dirt

So much going on, so much I can post about......
My MIL has had back surgery and is recovering!  She is not recovering as quickly as she would like to, but she is recovering!  God has had her hand (body) right from the start!  I've HEARD, I haven't talked to her, that her check-up today went well and everything is where it needs to be!  Wow, that's OUR GOD!!  He guides us and holds us and leads us to where we need to be!  He holds our bodies (when we allow Him) and brings us to where we need to be!  It's all a matter or trusting that He has created us and has done so WONDERFULLY AND FEARFULLY!  From the top our head to the tip of our toes!  And He has and MIL does trust that He has been there and has had  the CONTROL all the way!  Pray with me that God continues to bless her with awesome healing and my MIL is up and where she wants to be shortly!
I could be posting on REAL DIRT!  But that is said and done!  Whew!  The biggest thing is that we are in COMPLIANCE and back on track!  I could tell you that I used my connections and my connections didn't realize it until we were back in compliance!  Yep, God is GOOD!
Right now, the dirt is that my anxiety is overboard..........concerned about my MIL, upset with my neighbor (land rights owner, not real owner), WORK, I love being in compliance and it brings me to the edge (I have been told I have done wrong and it was never my intention)!
I am always worried about not being the best parent I can be!  It brings tons and tons of anxiety when I look around at my friends and it appears their children are so compliant and do so well (I want the same for my kiddos) it makes me feel like a failure whenever they fail!  Whenever they bicker, whenever they miss a homework assignment or tell a lie or when they are not compliant in any way!
It stresses me out to realize that I'm not the most supportive wife or that I'm not the most understanding or that I may put my feelings before his!  BECAUSE THAT STUPID ANXIETY OVERTAKES!
My 20 year reunion is right around the corner and I am afraid not everyone will be represented, I really think we were all so close (there was less than 200 in my class)!  If it weren't for all these people, amazing people, I wouldn't be where I am today and I desperately want the chance to thank them!  Many will be there, many will represented during the reunion.....but my worry is that not ALL of them will be there or at lest represented!  Call me selfish if you want!  But I want everyone represented!  I want the chance to thank everyone!  I want the chance to hug everyone and celebrate everyone!
STUPID DIRT!  BRINGS OUT THE BEST AND THE WORST IN ALL OF US!!  It's my real dirt right now, without detail.......this is just a taste of my stupid dirt!!!

1 comment:

  1. You've got good kids, Chrissy! And you're a GREAT mom! Last week I heard an amazing quote. It said something to the effect, "God has provided everything you need to be YOU. If there's an area of lack in your life, first check if you're trying to be someone else." Ooh...let me tell you, that stung me. I'm always comparing myself with others (especially "the fun moms" of which I've been told I am most definitely NOT.) But, I know I am who I'm supposed to be, and my kids are who they're supposed to be, and we are ALL imperfect in many, many ways.
    Love you, Girl...stay strong!