This is just an outlet for me, to be able to get my thoughts out! I am a Woman, Wife and Mommy that also works outside the home! Just me trying to make it all work for the best for my family and myself! Just my journey!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

That Darn Key

I'm leaving work
Open the car door, put the key in, start it up, tune the radio, put it in reverse and than drive and GO!
I'm fine for the time it takes me to get out of the parking lot......
As soon as I leave the gate, my heart races
I tell myself every thing's OK and begin to dial
I want to talk to one of the members of my family....anyone will do
If they answer, I KNOW, everything is OK,
I know it's late and it just doesn't matter
if they don't answer I dial again and I dial their cellular phones.....
Most days I get an answer and my heart rate slows for a moment
I drive and I turn up the radio to listen to the talk show I listen to (depending on the night of the week)
Tonight it's vinyl cafe and I love it.....I even laugh
I make it to one of my exits and I can feel myself starting to get concerned and my heart racing
(my radio talk show is over)
I resist the urge to call
and quickly find a radio station with a good up-beat song....
I don't care what station as long as I can sing-along!!  (I really need to hook up my XM radio in the car)
I pull into the driveway,
open the garage door
I feel myself start to panic
I pray......(I pray the entire way home, it's not an option, it just happens)
key in the door, this part still hurts......
I stop to take my boots off (I didn't used too, see I'm dealing better)
I head up the stairs
check in all the rooms
to find everything is OK!
I breath for the first time since I left the parking lot!
I really am getting better at this returning home thing.......It's really not as intense.
Thanks for prayers....

1 comment:

  1. prayers are always with you...I cannot even begin to imagine this fear that you have...I know why you have it and I hate that you have to carry this with you...its unfair to you and to her and the rest of your family...what happened is horrible and I pray that everyday God hold you a little bit closer to keep you smiling and keeps your family safe...I love you Chrissy...keep being a light of encouragement for others.