This is just an outlet for me, to be able to get my thoughts out! I am a Woman, Wife and Mommy that also works outside the home! Just me trying to make it all work for the best for my family and myself! Just my journey!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

You can lead..........

As always, in families these days, there is a ton going on. School, homework, friends, parties, chores, you know all the norm. We rely on our parents to help us with the kids, because we both work and I am not ready to turn my oldest into a "permanent babysitter". Which now gives us other challenges, my parents are NOT nearly as "tough" on their grandchildren as they were my sister and I when we were growing up, and I am probably close to being as tough as they were on me, on my kids. Make sense, yep, you get it, my parents have changed and I have taken on their role as parent, and wanting the perfect, responsible children, and yes, they are Peeeeerfect grandparents!! This is difficult when I am not at home at night to help with homework. Most of our discussions about school and homework and chores and friends happen in the morning, when the kids are still in their sleepy fog, just going through the motions getting ready, so after school, everything, EVERYTHING, I said that morning is forgotten. My mom is pretty good about passing on information and holding them accountable, but she also helps them out, I guess that isn't a bad thing.
Now, to where all this is leading:
All my kids are finding this year to be a little bit tougher than last year and their responsibility hasn't matched what it needs to be yet. It kills me, I teach and train and preach responsibility, but when it comes down to it: "you can lead a child through homework, but you can't make them turn it in!" So when they are acing tests and acing labs and failing the class, it just makes me want to throw up my arms, but then the mom in me comes out and says "you need to responsible and turn in your work" then I say "if you get any F's I am going to ground you throughout the entire next quarter!" When I say this, I know I mean it and I know it will be tough, but I don't think Adam cares, maybe he will after week 2 of grounding, then I wonder, does he get it, does he understand grounding and report card grades and responsibility and then I remember he has been train, taught and preached to so here we go.
The other problem:
When a child is grounded so are the parents!! STINKS!!
Good thing is that even though this year is tougher for Windy and Mitchell, they do take their homework seriously and get it done and it stresses them out if they don't! Good.
Then I wonder, the two years I home schooled Adam, did that ruin him? Did it take away responsibility? Then I remember how good those two years were for all of us and how much their dad was working and how we could take off and go meet him for a long lunch or a dinner late at night, and it was OK, 'cause we could do whatever it took to ensure a good class day, the next day! OK so we have some straightening out to do and possibly alot of "home time" coming soon. Guess we will just wait and see and pray and hope and preach and teach and train for the best!!!


  1. They'll get it eventually. It's tough though. We struggle with homework here, but that it takes soooo long to do it. Bekah can't seem to focus, and it takes her twice as long to get stuff done. How do you help someone focus?? Even if you stick her in a room by herself with no distractions it still doesn't seem to make it any better. I feel you pain! If you ever want company when you are "grounded" let me know. I may need to get out of my own house!

  2. Hang in there it does get better. They get older and "get it" one day, how I don't know they just do.