I'm Ready to Ramble

I sure hope your ready to read it

• I have always been ready for the opportunity to give back to those who have given so much of themselves for me....but it's never in the capacity I think it will be.....sometimes heartwarming and sometimes heart aching
• I won't get a day off this week........so stinks...
• My heart breaks for my co-worker who had to say good-bye to his dad tonight!  I am really going to miss the stories, my co-worker would share with me, about his dad.
• it is stinking hot this summer...I love it, it's a real summer!  But at work it is just HOT!!  Forget doing my hair and make-up, hair goes in a pony-tail and I don't worry about the bangs and the face.....ha, forget the make-up, it's going to sweat off 15 minutes after arriving at work, why bother!
• Adam snores.....Like his mommy, unfortunately. (yes, his mommy is me)
• Ya's looks too much like her namesake right now...it's amazing, beautiful, heart-breaking and a gift!
• Yes I cried when Ya's got her haircut and her side bangs.  I stayed in the waiting area, mostly, while she had it done and when they called me to see her.......It honestly took my breath away.
• I like explanation points, ALOT, !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• My 9 year old, the baby, still climbs in bed with me from time-to-time.  It's getting less and less frequent :(
• I thought we were done with football, I kinda liked being done with football or so I thought!  I'm so excited for Adam to be apart of his freshman football team
• owning one home is stressful, owning two is super stressful....to those who own more....wow how do you do it!!!!!!!!!!!!  Makes me crazy, the other home gets repairs before this one.
• Larbo worked 190 hours in two weeks, I have explicitly explained his address to him and I think he knows, now, that his address is our home, NOT WORK!
• I still smile when I think about the party we had on the 4th of July....makes me sad that I didn't get to visit as much as I wanted, but I was so blessed to see smiling faces everywhere I turned! Kids laughing, parents laughing, grandparents laughing, friends laughing....beautiful, everyone smiling and laughing.....I'm so blessed every time I think about it!  I can't wait until next year!
• I've been working for the railroad for over 4 years now!
• I hate the words "your a woman" or "she is a woman"!  I'm tired of it, why can't I just be a person, when you talk about me at work!  
• I let an opportunity, to apply for a promotion pass me by.....because I am involved in a good change right now, where I am and I want to see it through.
• I think it's time to shop for new jeans, my pockets are on my hips!!  That's so cool to think about, but I can't believe it's real!  I hear myself say, "OMW, these jeans have stretched again"!  I can't believe, that I can't believe that there is a difference in my size....after all 30 pounds are gone!  I need to lose another 30.....and that's gonna be rough....but I need new jeans for work for now..I can't keep relying on my radio belt to hold them up!  That's a good thing........right???? ugh, the jeans have stretched, I just need to replace them!
• My cousin and her family are going to visit this summer, I'm excited (I didn't think it would happen)!  I know it's a long drive and it's not easy on any of them, I'm so happy they do it regardless.....I'll cry when they show up and I'll probably cry alot why they are here!
• It hurts to think that some people just expect me to know........ugh!!  my words "use your words"  I'm not a mind reader and I don't "pick-up" on everything and I don't hear everything, when it's the stuff that is not directed to me!  Sometimes I completely miss it!
• Just because I don't work as a Chef doesn't mean I am not passionate about cooking!  I'm  more passionate now than ever!  I love when the kids tell me how good something is or when they are engaged in the process!  My youngest was chopping veggies (from their garden) the other night for dinner and he was so proud and so was I!  I STILL LOVE cooking good food, I think I'm more passionate about it now than ever...I think it has to do with that family thing!
• these kids just grow up too fast and right before my eyes!  I
• I like this rambling thing...but there's so much more to ramble on about that I have to make a place to stop and this is it!
• STOP

Someone Had a Really Good Idea

I had nothing to do with it!  I didn't even know they were planning it, until I was asked,

where can we put it!!

The kids and Papaw and I think, Gramma was involved too, planted a garden.  They started the seeds at Gramma and Papaw's and then brought home these plants and planted a small garden.

The kiddos take pride in the garden, checking on it and watering it everyday!  Sometimes, they ask me to come with them to check it out!  I love it!

They work together!

I'm not really involved 

Papaw and the kiddos have it handled....

 
The kiddos really do alot of it on their own, now.
So I just, sit back and relax and enjoy!  Both the kiddos and the Veggies! MMMMMM!

 
I get to see the smiles when they find something ready to pick
I get to watch them work together, toward the same goal
I just reap the benefits!

Papaw and Gramma had a really good idea!!

Battle of the Heart......

it's trying 
it's amazing
it's heartbreaking 
it's heartwarming!
I can't wait to see the next step
I can't wait to see them in the next stage
I can't wait to see them grow 
I can't wait to see them mature and grow and handle life!
I miss cuddling them as babies
I miss the way they used to attempt to try something new, without concern!
I miss them needing me all the time
I miss handling their problems for them
I love that I get to be their mom and that they 
are growing up and becoming who they need to become, I love they still let me love on them, I love that they still try new things, I love that they can problem solve and that they don't need me for every little thing!

....I love that they have an understanding of the difference of "being somebody" and "being the person God created them to be!"  

I love being apart of their lives.......

I Call It

a few weeks ago, the laptop finally just wasn't enough!  I enjoy being able to sit on the couch and be on the Internet....I get to watch a movie and surf the net at the same time, kinda cool!  But it just wasn't cutting it any more!  I gave in and purchased a new computer......at the direction of a friend and much thought and tons of question and answer sessions....we went with a MAC.
I'm so thrilled with this thing......
So are the kiddos and the hubby.....
It's working out pretty good, the support is awesome and it's fast (any new computer would have been fast) and we like fast!!
It took two minutes to set-up and the kiddos were surfing the net......ahem, right after my session!!
I heard my youngest saying "wow, this is cool", then he hollered to me "Mom, Mom, this thing is fast"!  Well obviously he is thrilled! 
Ever since the date of purchase and set-up,
every morning....EVERY MORNING, I hear the youngest coming down the stairs, he doesn't even have his glasses on or the sleep out of his eyes, I'm not even sure if his eyes are even open yet!  I think he is still trying to wake up......
He says, loudly:

"I CALL COMPUTER NEXT"

(hmmmmm, maybe we have a problem!!)

Only at the Job

I'm excited
nervous
excited
someone started a new position tonite
even though I wasn't a huge part of it
I'm still excited
and nervous
I'll sleep with my phone
I'll hope for the best
I'll pray ALOT
I'll probably call and check on him
he'll probably be annoyed by me, but he'll answer his phone anyway
he will do a fine job
I'm not the only one standing by my phone
it's so exciting to be apart of someone headed toward a goal
it's nerve racking......and crazy
I love it!
I love seeing people and being apart of them move toward their goal
I'm excited
nervous
excited
I'm apart of it, only a little!  I'm still apart and my phone is on and on loud (I never do that)
I'm ready and waiting.....
but mostly, I don't think I'll hear from him tonite!
I do think I will read an email about his successes this evening, tomorrow! 
I'm excited
nervous
excited
I'm blessed to get to be apart of a new beginning for someone.....even if it's only at the job!!!

Love Lives Here..........

I walked into ......
the kids did their chores but didn't complete them
I found, they tell me it's done on the phone and when I get home.......
and walla      NOT DONE........it's so easy to say it's done, when there's no followup (immediately)!
I got upset, angry and aggravated
I then said, forget it and I'll do it myself
and then I realized, I was letting them "off the hook"
No Way Jose!!!!!
Get on it, get it done, do your part, make things happen, make your house a home, c'mon everyone pitches in and there's no argument about it......you wanna argue?  Good I'll add more
I'm frustrated, aggravated and disappointed in myself.....I wonder why I can't get a better hold on my kids, I get mad at myself for not catching the not done so-well, on the phone
I realize, I was on the phone
I'm aggravated, angry, mad and disappointed, all with myself
Then I remember,
A home I watched, hung out at, felt at home at, wanted to have for myself, enjoyed for myself,
while I was a young.
She was a young mom with kiddos, a few of them and she got it right..she made others feel at home, her home was always moving and working and it was more about the people than it was the clean!!!!
I remember feeling at home in that home!
a place of
LOVE LIVES HERE, Please come in..........
I feel like I'm doing something right, I feel like we are moving toward the place I see..
unfortunately, for my hubby, it isn't a place of immaculate keep it cleanness, it isn't a place where a clean freak with tons of energy lives (I wish I had tons of energy), and it SURELY isn't a place of spotlessness!!!!!
maybe one day I'll find that for him...(I'll keep trying)
It is a place of:
always working toward a goal
always trying to move in the right direction
It is a place of:
Trying to keep up
Trying to promote the positive
making people feel welcome (even if it means moving a pile of clean folded clothes off the couch, so they can sit)
It is a place of:
Everyone pitching in and everyone helping
But mostly,
It's a place of
LOVE LIVES HERE, PLEASE COME IN......
That's my goal, that's the life I've been chasing.......That's the feeling I want to produce.... That's how I wanna ROLL!!
I found it so long ago and I'm amazed that it took me this long to realize what I was looking for:
My Home to say:
LOVE LIVES HERE, PLEASE COME IN!!!!

Happy Birthday

To my Dad!!!

His heart is golden and his love is sweet!  I love you Dad!!!!

My cousin joined us.....I was so happy and so was Dad!!

Let's take a picture Dad

Stop chewing and let's take a pic Dad!  Man, he does enjoy food........good food!!

One more time PLEASE stop chewing and smile (ahem like you like me)!   I'll take it water spots and all!!!

We don't get many pics together Dad, this is ok!  Now, you can go back to eating.......Enjoy your Birthday dinner!!

Hey Dad, Let me get one of you and the kiddos before we leave............

Looks pretty good, 

Let me take one more

I'll tak'em both.........

You have to know that Aunt Polly was trying to get them to "give up" their to-go boxes, right before this pic!  Made me laugh, they didn't wanna give them up!  Even the kiddos enjoy good food!

I had to STOP the oldest from ordering lobster!  What have I done!!

Happy Birthday DAD!!!!!  Enjoy your day today and make it alllllllllll about you!  

I love you DAD!!!