Ladies and Gentlemen

I can get my own doors and my own seat! I am capable. I am strong and yes I am a woman!
When I am on a date with my hubby or even just out running, I don't get my own doors or seat or put my jacket on by myself! I am capable, but I chose to be treated like a lady and I like the feeling of femininity!
When I am with my boys, yes even the lil one, they get the doors. I don't ask them to help me with my coat or get my car door or pull out my seat, but they do go ahead and get the doors.
It's a bit different, these days, I guess.
My daughter allows the same, when I remind her! She is perfectly capable of getting her own doors, but when our boys are around, we do not!
It's not that my hubby is "trained" it's respect. If I didn't wait for him and got my own door, he wouldn't be offended but he would wonder what was wrong with me!
This is what is right for me! I am strong and I am capable, I am also strong enough to allow myself to be treated like a lady! I like it, it makes me feel special and shows me I deserve it!
The kids are be taught, what we feel, is the right way. My daughter is not weak or needy, she is strong and she is strong in character and strong in will and also with patience, to allow herself to be treated like a young lady.
This is what's right for us. I like that my boys know how to be gentlemen and that my daughter knows how to be a young lady! I like that they are polite and kind.
By no means, do these acts make anyone in our family weak! I believe it makes us stronger. We are living outside of the "norm" every time these things happen.
Yes, yes, yes, I do have to remind the boys "be a gentleman" and my daughter "allow yourself to be a young lady". It's part of bringing up children, it's like reminding them to do homework or to cover face when the cough! It should be done!
Is it that I have something to prove? No. Quite honestly, as I try to prove myself constantly in what is known as "a man's job" it's nice just to be treated like a lady, by my husband.
We don't "expect" this from other people! It's just what we do!
This makes me feel special and reminds me that I am my hubby's Lady! I like it!
I like that my daughter gets treated like a lady and that the boys act like gentlemen!
I like it that way and I think my hubby does too! I like that my children are respectful and remember to act as such, every time they do, I think they all show their strengths!

How Does This Happen

It's funny how this happens sometimes
I asked Mitchy if he wanted to go fly his kite. Of course he wants to go fly his kite. We grab the kite and head outside.
He's flying the kite and chatting and enjoying ourselves.
Then he passes the kite to me.....
I fly the kite for a minute and before I know it suddenly, I'm alone.
Mitchy is done and has headed inside and I am left flying a kite by myself!
How does this happen? We went to go fly the kite for him........
and now I'm flying it alone.
These kids!

Things Have Changed

I'm not done with Easter yet!
Our celebration was fantastic!
We were able to celebrate quietly and peacefully at home for the morning! Enjoying the Easter candy that was in their baskets and flying their kites and even making a dish to take to the family party!

On holidays where someone leaves a gift or two, we have a rule that everyone comes down together! That doesn't mean that I know if someone snuck down early! It means that, so Mommy can take pictures we wait for everyone! This gets more difficult as they get older and the excitement wears off :(
But they do it for my sake and I appreciate it!
The actual getting everyone to come down at the same time this year, was far different than any other year!
First, he waits.....








then she joins him (or I guess, it's they join him)............










then he has to pee and she waits alone








then that big one, who really enjoys his sleep, joins her and waits for the lil one..........










then they are all together...........finally


























Now, they can come down!










Finally, we get to play......







It's still fun, it's just different as they get older!

Report Cards, Again

I watch and hear and read posts about how much everyone loves seeing their children's report cards! All the congratulations all the celebration and all the joy. I do enjoy it and I do celebrate with them! I dread report card time! I HATE IT! My heart aches when report cards come out! I have two children that get great report cards and I have one, we just pray passes! That's all I want is for him to pass! He's a good boy with a fantastic heart and tons of common sense! He's a gentleman and a sweet boy!
I have no complaints about his heart and his general disposition!
We have had a difficult time with school with him. One year ago, he was diagnosed as ADD! This kids is 14, closer to 15, and has just recently been diagnosed! He has spent his school life being disciplined and grounded and hollered at and basically beat up on! All to find out he has ADD and has slipped through the cracks of not only the school but his parents all this time!
I noticed, what I thought was ADD when he was young. I asked the doctor about it and his reply was, he's borderline and you can just treat it with diet and exercise. The kid was home schooled at the time, so it wasn't a big deal. We did spelling tests on the run. We did multiplication tables while doing cartwheels in the front yard and his day of schooling was short, we got it done and moved on! For a couple of years we made it work! Well he went to school and he was ahead, so his grades weren't a problem, his boredom was!
Then everything caught up with him and caught up fast! His Guidance Counselor last year, brought up the ADD! Wow, first time I heard that in awhile! Sure enough, this kid has ADD and the medication turned the school stuff around overnight! Whew!
I thought we were "out of the woods"! Darnedest thing, he grew and grew alot! He goes to the doctor once a year, unless otherwise necessary, turns out he should be going 3 times a year, because of his growth rate! Now, he is suffering in the grades department again!
Good thing is, when I ask his teachers
"is he a discipline problem?"
Their reply is always "no, not at all!"
He asked for a higher dose of medication about 3 months ago and I asked on the phone for a higher dose, but I didn't pursue it and I kinda schlepped him off! I know better than that! I know to listen to him when he's talking about his medication, I know he can "feel" a difference and I know he likes how he feels and performs when he is on the right dose! Stupid Mom, sometimes!!! All I had to do was listen!
Here we are again! Report Cards........yes I watch online........I know what's going on in the grade area.........I don't always know what's going on in his head! Now, I do! Unfortunately, it took a call to the Guidance Counselor to get me thinking strait again. Doctor's appointment Tuesday!
He's not at risk of failing the entire year, but his self-esteem has been placed in question, once again!
My heart aches and I question myself, once again! Why don't I listen!? Why don't I believe him the first time? I think I just want him to be OK all the time and not have this ADD. But he does and I have to accept it and help him with it! It's not just a thing and it's not an excuse! It's real and it's real hard for him, VERY hard, I make it more difficult for him when I don't really hear him!
Report cards are more than just the grades around here!
Note to self: JUST LISTEN, HEAR THEM and BELIEVE THEM! Please!
Prayers, many prayers!

A Beautiful Time

Because I shop in the morning, I see mom's with their lil ones all the time. Sometimes, it makes me thankful to be done with that stage, sometimes it takes me back and sometimes I can't believe we're here!
They are big now and the only time I get them to go to the store with me, during the morning, is if they don't have school and sometimes I don't even get that any more. When they were little, it was crazy going anywhere. Just one wasn't too bad, I could carry him everywhere! I don't think I ever put him down, I think, maybe I would hand him off, but DOWN, NOT! Then we added Ya's and it was more difficult and took more effort! I quickly discovered my Snuggly (a poor example of baby wearing, but it's all I knew), I wore Ya's everywhere, except at home (because I could carry her in my arms)! The grocery store was the best place, to wear her! Adam loved to ride! He loved being in a stroller or a grocery cart or whatever as long as he was riding! But then, crazy-as-we-are we added the Lil'one and WOWEEE did the going places change completely again! Suddenly, I didn't have enough hands for all of them!
By the time we added the Lil'one, Ya's was running and non-stop, Adam was still happy to ride! If I had Internet back then I would have found out about this great, proper, baby wearing and it would have been perfect for me!
I did everything one handed! I carried a kid in one hand and worked with the other and sometimes worked with the hand holding the kid!
I can honestly say that all of them were held all day long until, at least, the age of 3!! By me! It's what they wanted (I did too and loved that they wanted) and I was capable! Sometimes I would just carry two! As I am remembering things, I can remember carrying all THREE out of church, more than a couple of times (OH MY GOODNESS, Please if you ever see a person struggling to carry more than one child out of somewhere and you have a free hand, HELP!) crazy as it sounds, I did it!
I can remember all the comments about spoiling them by holding them too much! Truth is, I spoiled myself! I miss that always carrying someone!
I sooo don't miss the hot-sweaty mess I always was back then!
I miss it, I miss the kids being young, OHHH I WON'T go back either! I really enjoyed it, most days! And I won't give back any one of those days of holding and carrying my babies and I'm not ready to go back there either, but the time I spent doing it was beautiful!
Watching those Mama's in the stores take me back to a beautiful place, I don't want to go back to!

More Than I've Told Anyone................

I really don't tell everything. I'm actually pretty private, as far as my family goes. I know that last statement is hard to believe....after all, I do post to my blog daily. I pick and choose what I post and if I'm upset or angry, alot of times I won't blog on that, I'll pick something positive, it helps me to stay positive, you know, refocus! I may post on it after everything is said and done and it is a positive. If I'm mad at Larry, you probably won't read about that here and it's rare that I'll share it with a close friend or family member. Here's my thought process on the whole issue: Chances are, I'm angry for a second and then I put it down on paper and in words (which is just the same or better/worse than saying it out loud) and in a moment I'll be over it or the issue/problem will be solved, my friend and/or family members will still be upset over whatever it was! I guess you could say that we as people, pick up each others offenses. I don't post often about my close family and friends that make me angry because me being offended all by myself is enough and when I'm over it, I want to be over it, I sure in the heck don't want someone else reminding me what I was upset about a minute ago! I know I have posted on the, they didn't do this and they didn't do that or the craziness that happens but it usually has a happy ending or a positive that I took from it. I try try try to keep positive and that means I don't tell all. I think that's a good thing, I don't think everyone needs to know EVERYTHING and especially other family members or good friends. I think sometimes, if I do happen to tell something, it ends up being so negative and goes on and on!

That all being said..........

We have owned our own business for almost 15 years now. That means we have been in debt to the IRS for quite some time. It would have been nice to make those quarterly payments but when your raising a family and money is tight and your praying for the money to make dinner that night or at least the gas money to make it to one of the parents house for dinner for a "visit" (I NEED FOOD) and then some conversation, those quarterly payments DO NOT get sent out. We did a great job of keeping our expenses documented, which helped with the deductions and the amount we owed, some years we even got a return (on paper) and that went to repay our debt. Don't get me wrong, our business was successful and I was able to stay at home for 12 years, while my husband and I worked our business.
Anyway, all the years of owing money to the IRS means that they want their money and they want to know why they aren't getting it. Oh, and on the years where you file an extension, the IRS decides how much you made and how much you should owe (based on other taxpayers sending in the information on time)and the amount they figure is ALOT, really really ALOT.
Always owing money to the IRS means you have to deal with them, quite a bit! I have dealt with the IRS alot and let me tell you, my bad experiences are far and few between. They are people just like you and I! They don't want you to pay any more than your supposed to and they want to help. Oh yea, they are human and they don't like it when you start to cry! I have dealt with both men and woman in the IRS and on the phone and in person, I have dealt with them at their office and at my home (more than a couple of times)! I have dealt with the State Department of Revenue and the IRS! Honestly, most times it has been a positive experience.
Well, I finally don't owe them any money!
WHAT A RELIEF!
But as much as I don't tell you, sometimes I keep things from the ones I love to protect them. My husband just learned a couple of months ago, what "really" happened. No one will ever really know everything, except me, and that's the way I want it!
I remember one time, I was going to file with one of those tax-relief companies and I went to the office to talk to them about "how much we owe" and the woman, that worked for the IRS, actually pleaded with me not to do that! She said to me "if I could only count how many times people have filed and paid and nothing changed for the better, only worse". She continued "it's up to you, but I haven't seen any of those work, I have had so many people saying, they took my money and now I can't get in touch with them at all!" With those statements, I held back. I am so thankful I held back.
I had a few more visits to the office and from the office. The last visit, from my IRS friend, proved to be the kicker, the IRS agent took my paperwork, even waited for it and filed it himself! I was able to check on it the next day and everything was in order!
Anyway, here I am, I have my taxes complete and I still want to file an extension. The IRS owes me money!!! I don't even owe past taxes this year! It's my money coming back to me!
My experience with the IRS has been stressful, but not usually negative. I know some people have very negative stories and I have a few, but as many visits as I have had, a few is lil to nothing!
Quite honestly, all of my run-ins with the IRS and IDR have been positive and helpful. I always felt like these were real people I was dealing with and they were on my side!
I'll still wait until April 15th to file!
(I almost wrote pay)

Where is the Stress Coming From??

Going on week 3 of changing the kids rooms! I'm not really discouraged or worried about getting them done, I JUST WANT THEM DONE! Painting is done and they are sleeping in their rooms!
The boys are sleeping on mattresses on the floor, because I just haven't found their bed or bedding yet, not to mention I'm still painting one their dressers!
OH yea, the little one's dresser is still in the old room, ahem, Ya's room and that produces a fight daily. I'm not really sure why though, the lil one is dressed and out before Ya's even thinks of waking up and if she's awake or in there, he is NOT dressing in there!! I think Ya's just likes her room. I know Adam and the lil one, even though their mattresses are on the floor, are enjoying their room.
Everyone seems much happier, except for the waiting for the completion!
So we continue with our progress, be-it slow progress, it is still progress, moving forward. I just can't wait to have them done and be able to stand back and breath! I keep thinking that if I weren't working it wouldn't take this long, but honestly, I think it would take this long! There's so much to do.
How many times do you paint a dresser before you trash it? I think it's like a million! Paint paint paint and then strip it and stain it and start with the paint again. If it's a good working piece of furniture you just keep making it work, right?
Add in a few other things going on and wallah, you have where the stress is coming from! Truth be known, stress really doesn't have an origin these days, it's just always there!
This is our progress so far, don't mind the mess I tried to miss most of it!!