That Darn Key

I'm leaving work
Open the car door, put the key in, start it up, tune the radio, put it in reverse and than drive and GO!
I'm fine for the time it takes me to get out of the parking lot......
As soon as I leave the gate, my heart races
I tell myself every thing's OK and begin to dial
I want to talk to one of the members of my family....anyone will do
If they answer, I KNOW, everything is OK,
I know it's late and it just doesn't matter
if they don't answer I dial again and I dial their cellular phones.....
Most days I get an answer and my heart rate slows for a moment
I drive and I turn up the radio to listen to the talk show I listen to (depending on the night of the week)
Tonight it's vinyl cafe and I love it.....I even laugh
I make it to one of my exits and I can feel myself starting to get concerned and my heart racing
(my radio talk show is over)
I resist the urge to call
and quickly find a radio station with a good up-beat song....
I don't care what station as long as I can sing-along!!  (I really need to hook up my XM radio in the car)
I pull into the driveway,
open the garage door
I feel myself start to panic
I pray......(I pray the entire way home, it's not an option, it just happens)
key in the door, this part still hurts......
I stop to take my boots off (I didn't used too, see I'm dealing better)
I head up the stairs
check in all the rooms
to find everything is OK!
I breath for the first time since I left the parking lot!
I really am getting better at this returning home thing.......It's really not as intense.
Thanks for prayers....

It's Just Me

Ever since I found out that October 5th is the MOST popular birth date in the USA, because conception falls on New Year's Eve, I have been intrigued, ahem obsessed,  with figuring out other popular birth dates and trying pin point the date that makes it popular.
Is it party season, is it a holiday, is it back to school season....etc

Anywhoo, as I called my friend yesterday to wish her a happy b-day,  laid flowers on my Step-Dad's burial site, as I FB'd several friends Happy Bday and stopped by another to wish them a Happy Bday, bought a gift for another, visited and left flowers at another friends burial site....I realized...............
This is a pretty popular week, couple of days,  for Bdays
Add 3 months.....
Now, I'm wondering......
What is it about this week in Birthdays...
Is it the Halloween celebrations?

is it the first COLD snuggle of the season?
See, your wondering now too!!
Not sure, but I still liked celebrating the lives of many of my friends and family this week.....
But REALLY what is it?
As long as your thinking like me, can you tell me what May 6th is all about?  (20 or more years ago, it was not back to school season, it was right before school season) Hmmmm, maybe one extremely HOT last roll??  IDK...........lol
At least with Hubby I know, it's New Year's Eve................

I'll Still Be Cheering

Just realized I'm going to be out of town for this kiddos first football game as a high schooler!  I can't change it and it's been planned since January.....I had no clue he would be playing football!!!!!!!!  He has suffered from Sever's Disease for the past 3 years and has not been able to play!  Thankfully he has grown beyond the Server's Disease and is ONCE AGAIN, enjoying football and for that matter anything that involves any sort of walking/running!

I'm sorry I won't be there the first game, but I will still be cheering my boy on!!!

Celebrating MO's Life

A HOME

I think Hubby and I didn't something very very right, when we bought a home, instead of renting!  I wouldn't have done it and I wouldn't have believed we could actually own a home back at the age of 21...but he did and he pushed...and we looked.....looked.....looked!
We found a home that we both felt was meant to be and meant for us....
We bid and purchased
I love that home, I love the memories and the life it helped to create!  I love that home, I love how small it was!  No one could get away!
The computer was in the dining room, connected to the kitchen (a central area in every ones home)!  There is only 1 bathroom and two kids always shared a room.....that is when we had three.....oh wait two kids always shared a bedroom, we used one room, as long as we could, for a TV room!
I had a formal living room.....as formal as you get in a 3 bedroom ranch, without a basement!
I loved that we were ON TOP of one another!
I think that that home helped to create the closeness we share as a family.....and the friendship my kiddos have!  YES THEY FIGHT!  Mostly they are friends, one is NEVER ever left out!  If they are together they are all included and they maybe fighting, but they are together and watch out for one another!
We have been working in that home as a family lately and doing  a "bang up" job!  The kiddos have put time and energy into it as well as Hubs and I!
It was alot of work, but always enjoyable to all of us!
I wonder, when my kiddos are grown up, talking to their kiddos, which house they are going to talk about as home......both houses are still a big part of their lives..........which one holds their heart the most?  Or will it be that they both hold their heart and they view both places as home and share stories about both?  I sure hope the second case scenario is it!
Truth is, when I think of home, my mind is scattered.....a home here, a home there.....a friends home here......a different friends home there.......a home in a car............a home watching a friend have a home.......a place to stay for a night or two, as a temporary home.......
Truth is, I always found a home and made a home.......but there isn't just one or two that hold my heart and honestly, when I think about home........it makes my heart hurt.....there wasn't ever really just a HOME.....sometimes, most times, it was a place to sleep!  Once in a while, my heart would feel at home!
I pray I have done better for my Kiddos and that when they think of home, they think of HOME or even two HOMES that make their heart leap and warm!  I pray maybe Hubs and I have given them that!  Hubs knows the beauty of one childhood home....wonder how our kiddos will handle the thoughts of home after they are grown.....I pray that we have given them a couple places of true home...a place they see as home, even if it is two places!

I'm Ready to Ramble

I sure hope your ready to read it

• I have always been ready for the opportunity to give back to those who have given so much of themselves for me....but it's never in the capacity I think it will be.....sometimes heartwarming and sometimes heart aching
• I won't get a day off this week........so stinks...
• My heart breaks for my co-worker who had to say good-bye to his dad tonight!  I am really going to miss the stories, my co-worker would share with me, about his dad.
• it is stinking hot this summer...I love it, it's a real summer!  But at work it is just HOT!!  Forget doing my hair and make-up, hair goes in a pony-tail and I don't worry about the bangs and the face.....ha, forget the make-up, it's going to sweat off 15 minutes after arriving at work, why bother!
• Adam snores.....Like his mommy, unfortunately. (yes, his mommy is me)
• Ya's looks too much like her namesake right now...it's amazing, beautiful, heart-breaking and a gift!
• Yes I cried when Ya's got her haircut and her side bangs.  I stayed in the waiting area, mostly, while she had it done and when they called me to see her.......It honestly took my breath away.
• I like explanation points, ALOT, !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• My 9 year old, the baby, still climbs in bed with me from time-to-time.  It's getting less and less frequent :(
• I thought we were done with football, I kinda liked being done with football or so I thought!  I'm so excited for Adam to be apart of his freshman football team
• owning one home is stressful, owning two is super stressful....to those who own more....wow how do you do it!!!!!!!!!!!!  Makes me crazy, the other home gets repairs before this one.
• Larbo worked 190 hours in two weeks, I have explicitly explained his address to him and I think he knows, now, that his address is our home, NOT WORK!
• I still smile when I think about the party we had on the 4th of July....makes me sad that I didn't get to visit as much as I wanted, but I was so blessed to see smiling faces everywhere I turned! Kids laughing, parents laughing, grandparents laughing, friends laughing....beautiful, everyone smiling and laughing.....I'm so blessed every time I think about it!  I can't wait until next year!
• I've been working for the railroad for over 4 years now!
• I hate the words "your a woman" or "she is a woman"!  I'm tired of it, why can't I just be a person, when you talk about me at work!  
• I let an opportunity, to apply for a promotion pass me by.....because I am involved in a good change right now, where I am and I want to see it through.
• I think it's time to shop for new jeans, my pockets are on my hips!!  That's so cool to think about, but I can't believe it's real!  I hear myself say, "OMW, these jeans have stretched again"!  I can't believe, that I can't believe that there is a difference in my size....after all 30 pounds are gone!  I need to lose another 30.....and that's gonna be rough....but I need new jeans for work for now..I can't keep relying on my radio belt to hold them up!  That's a good thing........right???? ugh, the jeans have stretched, I just need to replace them!
• My cousin and her family are going to visit this summer, I'm excited (I didn't think it would happen)!  I know it's a long drive and it's not easy on any of them, I'm so happy they do it regardless.....I'll cry when they show up and I'll probably cry alot why they are here!
• It hurts to think that some people just expect me to know........ugh!!  my words "use your words"  I'm not a mind reader and I don't "pick-up" on everything and I don't hear everything, when it's the stuff that is not directed to me!  Sometimes I completely miss it!
• Just because I don't work as a Chef doesn't mean I am not passionate about cooking!  I'm  more passionate now than ever!  I love when the kids tell me how good something is or when they are engaged in the process!  My youngest was chopping veggies (from their garden) the other night for dinner and he was so proud and so was I!  I STILL LOVE cooking good food, I think I'm more passionate about it now than ever...I think it has to do with that family thing!
• these kids just grow up too fast and right before my eyes!  I
• I like this rambling thing...but there's so much more to ramble on about that I have to make a place to stop and this is it!
• STOP

Someone Had a Really Good Idea

I had nothing to do with it!  I didn't even know they were planning it, until I was asked,

where can we put it!!

The kids and Papaw and I think, Gramma was involved too, planted a garden.  They started the seeds at Gramma and Papaw's and then brought home these plants and planted a small garden.

The kiddos take pride in the garden, checking on it and watering it everyday!  Sometimes, they ask me to come with them to check it out!  I love it!

They work together!

I'm not really involved 

Papaw and the kiddos have it handled....

 
The kiddos really do alot of it on their own, now.
So I just, sit back and relax and enjoy!  Both the kiddos and the Veggies! MMMMMM!

 
I get to see the smiles when they find something ready to pick
I get to watch them work together, toward the same goal
I just reap the benefits!

Papaw and Gramma had a really good idea!!