This One Time....

There was this one time, in college, I caught on fire. Being on fire brought a total new insight to being on fire for God. All I wanted to do was put out the fire (it hurt and I knew it would kill me)! I STOPPED, DROPPED AND ROLLED AND the fire did not go out! I wanted it out though, it hurt bad, not good, BADDDDDD!

That's when I decided I didn't want to be "ON FIRE" for God, I wanted to be around a fire for God!

Makes sense to me! Hope it does for you!

Anyway, this also taught me a lesson about sticking it out! I was in my last year of college. I never knew I wanted to get married until then! Now I felt I had a decision to make! Do I stick it out and risk losing the one I love or stop going and risk losing my self respect.

Easy choice for me, at the time , don't lose Self-respect and stick out college, stick to the choice I made before hand! Don't lose your education and everything I had dreamed of, from the age of 5! I stick it out! 50% of my back burnt (I would mention here that I have keloids and they don't leave a pretty scar, but it doesn't help my story) I go on and do my internship at a Hyatt in South Carolina, oh yea, I loved it there! Had Larry not proposed, I think I would have been around the world by now, without any adventures!

Thankfully, Larry proposed (with blessings from my mom, although when I called her to tell her she didn't sound as though there were blessings, did she honestly think I would say no?) and I absolutely crying and trembling said YES, absolutely YES! Off of a cake I took my wedding ring! A couple months later I not only graduated College (something that all the counselors told my mom NEVER would happen) and I moved back to NW Indiana! The counselors and Psychiatrists and Psychologists had my mom prepared for the worst, no daughters and no grandchildren EVER! So happy, the adventures began for me and God has a bigger plan!

That is where real life began!

Scars and all! I could tell you here that I had no real good memories of High School at this time, but that leads into an entire different story! All the good memories I have now, as compared to then!

Do I want to be on fire for God? NOPE! I want to stand around His fire and allow Him to warm me and change my perspective, I want Him to help me be warm and warm to others, I want Him to burn off the UN-undoing, I want Him to burn off sin, I want Him to lead me in the ways of Him! I do NOT want to Put His fire out, I do not want to STOP DROP AND ROLL AND PUT HIS FIRE OUT! I want to stand next to His EVER warmth and bask in His Glow!

Just my perspective!

Just me being honest!

What a Crazy Day

Mitchell is home from school, he and I have had the Flu Virus since Friday and it stinks! Good thing is we like each other and we like hanging out together (he is still to young to know mom's aren't cool). I have "rest days" on Sunday and Monday, now that will explain some of the rest of my storey!

Monday, get up with Windy and Adam and do the morning get ready for school routine. Windy is getting on her bus and "SLAM" there goes Hank out the door and running! My dogs have run off far too much lately, I could so beat them, but I never do, because I am so happy to see them when I find them (UGGGHHH)! Windy attempts to catch the dog, I am yelling at her "get on the bus, I'll get Hank" she reluctantly gets on the bus, my baby girl knows how hard he is to catch, but the Bus Driver is waiting! Bye Windy.

"Adam get your shoes on and help me get Hanky" I yell. I am already chasing him! Picture this, I still have my PJ's on (yes you are correct no Bra) and slippers, not even ones with rubber on the bottom, regular slippers, it has been raining and now I am running! Laugh here if you must, cause my feet are sliding and my boobs are out of control! (see the red in my face here) Adam is out and now chasing Hank where I leave off, because now I have chased him throughout half of our 12 acres and across the street, my lungs can't catch any oxygen and my boobs hurt! Adam turns around and calls to me, "Mom we need the quad Hank's running"! OK, I can get the quad, it is working now! I open the garage door and jump on the quad and it d o e s n ' t start! NOPE NOT AT ALL!

Adam is still chasing Hank through the back 6 and I cannot get the quad started, my slippers are now ruined and I cannot walk in them! I run inside, let Mitchy (poor Mitchy is so not well and just sleeping) know that I have to chase Adam, who is chasing Hank! I throw on my outback Boots and run out the door (yes your right still in PJ's and no Bra but now I have a jacket!) I am now yelling for both Adam and Hank! I am running, slow jogging, walking, and now I am turning around defeated! Not only is our dog lost, now I don't know how far Adam has chased him (he still thinks I am coming on the quad).

I am walking, shall I say, staggering up the side of a hill on the side of our house and I look toward the back 9 and there is Adam! No Hank, but man does Adam look beat up! I check him out head-to-toe and he is soaked from his waist down! I ask or rather holler "are you OK?" his reply "yes mom, I fell in the water in the way back chasing Hank, I didn't get him"!

At this point, I don't care, I need Adam warm and dry and to check on Mitchell and to get out of public without real clothes! Adam and I walk up to the house and I tell him to get showered and changed. Now, I check for car keys, where are my car keys, they are not in my purse and they are not in the basket by the front door. Text Larry. Larry texts back, your keys are in my pocket, sorry!

Now, I yell up the stairs at Adam "your home today, no keys"! I call Mitchell off school and immediately call Adam off of school. 3 hours later, Windy's school calls she is ill and needs to come home! Thanks to Aunt Polly Windy Makes it Home!!

This is all on Monday

Back to Hank

I have no keys for the car, I am 1 sick mama and I have 1 sick boy and 1 boy who is not doing so good and to boot he fell in water!

VOILA, the quad starts. I am looking for Hank again (with real clothes and even a bra on) man it is cold and I am not wearing gloves! I ride my quad through the back 9 and onto everyone Else's open property all the way to the Tree Farm, NO HANK! What else to do, but drive on the streets on a quad without my license! I can't find Hank! I drive through the neighborhood on the side of us, no Hank! Now I have given up and call Schererville Animal Control! HA, someone has Hank and he'll be home in a minute!

Animal Control Lady is where Hank visits when he gets out! I don't even have a chance to find him!

NOTE TO SELF: Next time, every time, take care of your babies and call animal control for everyone else!

Not Sure Where I Want to Be on This One, maybe Venting or waiting or rambling

Being a working mom, sometimes it is just awesome. I get an actual paycheck, money in hand, for the work I do. Other days, man, I can be great at my job and just failing at home and you know what, now my position at work means NOTHING!!! Hate that. I wish I could separate work from home, but I can't! I try to find balance and make it all work. I maintain the best Positive Outlook on life that I can, I pray and I ask for direction from my Father and sometimes, I don't even feel like a measure up there, my Father always gives me direction and leads my path, even when He leads me to read off of my path. I know working at home moms fight this stuff too, I was there and I did it! For awhile it seemed, I could get positive out of work even if the positive wasn't at home and vice versa. Of course, that was in the beginning of being an outside the home working mom, now, everything still goes back, to how is this going to affect my home!

I have had a rough time of it lately! I have had too many trips out of town, away from my family, for work. I hear my husband complain about my shift at work, I work every shift every week and it does grow old! It makes it worse when my hubby hates it so much. Don't get me wrong, I've got it good, I can send my kids to school almost every day of the week and hubby gets them off the bus every day of the week, so we don't even need after school programs. There is still, something I miss about those dinners around the table at night with my family.

I know tomorrow will be a new day and God will lead me or I will wait to be led by Him, I know that He controls all things and Loves me and that He loves my children and husband more than I do! I know it and believe it, I live on that and have faith in all of it!

Some days are just tougher to convince my unbelief of that!

Keep your hands off the walls I mean..........

FEET!!

AND DON'T TEACH IT TO MIKE!!

I am always yelling at them "get your hands off the walls" I never dreamt that that wasn't the problem!!

My Youngest isn't A Baby Anymore

If I could only get that baby pic to post, give me a few weeks, I'll get it. Gramma you know the one! He was in a blanket a blue sleeper, looking so innocent!

Last week my youngest turned 8. After this, turning 8, I realize. I no longer have a baby. But maybe I do. Mitchell is something else. He brought this element of spontaneity to our lives as a family. The Dr. told me I was either 4 months pregnant or I was having twins. I told him I am 4 months pregnant. At that moment I accepted that I was pregnant, Mitchell started teaching me about life. He taught me not to take myself so serious and how to laugh. Mitchell also taught me how to stop and think, "really, if I go crazy over this, what are the consequences and is it really worth it?" Mitchell, has brought out that "belly laugh", I forgot I had and I am so thankful for him. I love that Larry and I didn't plan him, he was planned without our input or our "OK" and that he was planned, perfectly by God, he fits in our family and we would not be complete without him and He, God, definitely didn't need our help. I would have never planned Mitchell, but I cannot imagine my life without him, goes to show, God knows what he is doing!! He was the "perfect" boy on the day of his arrival, like every newborn is.

Mitchell has added so much to our family. I already told you about the power of the "belly laugh" he brought back, we didn't even know we were missing out on that, until Mitchell was born. He also brought to me, the power of slowing down. Best most awesome item I was missing, was slowing down and enjoying life. As soon as I found out I was pregnant with Mitchell, I realized I hadn't slowed down to enjoy life in a long time and I was missing out! I was so busy, trying to keep up "Our Image" (a entirely different post, but a good one) that I was missing out on the lives of my children, I was taking good care of them, but not enjoying them. Mitchell has been a lover and a charmer from day 1! He immediately taught me the joys of laughter and slowing down. I am so thankful for him every day.

As much as Mitchell is spontaneous, he is very diligent, he has a routine and a plan and follows it to a "T". When he gets up in the morning, there isn't any reason to prod him along, it is just his routine and stay out of his way, he knows what he has to do. He is the same diligent young man, after school, first child I ever let do homework in front of the T.V. I know, I know all the horrible mother things. I realized a while ago, that he needs the noise, he has never been in a silent home and when he has noise in the background he can actually focus, if he chooses. Mitchell is also not afraid to ask questions and find out why, in this aspect he is just like his father, Larry wants to know why and how something works and can do it no matter what noise is going on!! Amazing little man Mitchell is.

Mitchell does not sleep alone, he did when he was born until he was about 5, then he figured out how to climb in everyone Else's bed, he loves to be held while he sleeps. All of us, Myself, Larry, Adam, Windy, Nana, Grandpa Pat, Gramma and Papaw just hold him and he sleeps. Unfortunately, Mitchell has never been quiet, not even in his sleep, he snores!! He snores loud! Good thing, for at least my kids and Larry and I, we sleep hard and can sleep right through it, probably is even soothing to us!

Happy Birthday Mitchell and Thank you so much for all the JOYS you have added to our lives. I love you Baby Boy!!

I have got some catching up to do...

I miss my blogger friends!

I have been crazy busy since the beginning of the year! Yes, just like all of you.

I am happy to report that my FIL had another surgery, at the end of last week, and is home, with nursing care and doing well! Thank God!

Other things that are going on:

I have been out of town far too much to be an effective parent. Homework assignments have gone in late. At least they got turned in and I think the younger ones got full credit. Adam has been placed in a program, designed to help him understand what he is learning and for help with regular assignments. Adam, has also been given a mentor, one of the teachers at the school has taken him under her wing and is there for him, almost, like mom would be if she could! Only thing better, is that this teacher is not Mom! I think it is having a positive impact on Adam. He was very proud, he didn't understand a homework assignment, but really thought he did. While in his class to help him, the teacher's discovered he was doing it wrong, they helped him correct it and he turned it in for an A-! Thank you to those who are giving extra time to my boy, it means the world to me.

I have reconnected, on Facebook, with many of my old friends! This is awesome for me! I am all about the thank-you's and the remembering when's and these are good,uplifting friends who just want the same thing! We are talking about our lives and our kids and our spouses and getting caught up. These are people that helped me through, one of the toughest times in my life, and now I get to reconnect. Because of FB, my class will actually have it's first reunion and it will be our 20 year! I am way excited.

I have been able to chat and talk more often with my cousins, who are like siblings!

In other news, my cousin Shane and the kids, oh yea, and her hubby, maybe relocating, back to the states again! This has me thrilled more than anything!

My baby girl Ava, has celebrated another Birthday! Wow, what a doll, Happy Birthday Ava, I love you and I miss you very much!

I'll update and put a real post on soon. But for now, just pray for my FIL and My MIL for a speedy recovery and rest for both of them.

Be praying that my cousin and her husband do exactly what is right for their family and that the best position for him becomes available.

And Please Wish Baby Ava a happy Birthday!

Thanks

Dumping

Lately, I have been doing alot of "dumping" on people! If you are one of those I sincerely apologize.
There used to be a day when I kept everything to myself! Wow, what happened, it has been like diarrhea of the mouth lately (sorry for the gross description, but it's is true). Someone honestly asks me how I am doing, and I fall apart, why? OK, first off, back to the gym!! I know and I talk all the time, about my workouts are not for losing weight, although it would be a nice side effect, it is for my mental status! It really produces hormones that fight depression. The fight of depression is one I have accepted! I know I fight it and usually do in all ways! Watch what I eat, take meds at same time everyday, workout, smile often, and find the funny in anything! So if I know it, why don't I do it? Because once I give in to the fight, it takes me a while to get back on track! I am sure anyone can relate: Once you start beating up on yourself, the beatings don't end easily, it just gets easier to do it!

That all said, here is the positive in my life:

I do have a great life. God has truly blessed me in so many ways it will be difficult to get them all in here! I have the promises of God, the power of prayer and still there is more! I have an awesome husband, who supports me in everything and when I dump on him, he doesn't hold it against me. He is a great father to our 3 children. Larry went to work for the mill to help our family, a selfless act, he enjoys owning his own business, but because he wanted more for us, he let it to the wayside! He fights my battles with me, and sometimes lets me fight them myself and is just there for the support. I enjoy all 3 of my children, they are good kids and want to do right (they don't always, but at least they try most of the time). All my children have teachers who act as though they really care, sincerely! I have great parents and great in-laws, they help in anyway they can! I do enjoy our beautiful home and all the property! I love to laugh and am able to do it often, even at Larry's expense! I have awesome extended family, my cousins couldn't be any closer to me and more supportive if they were my siblings! I have incredible nieces and nephews! To boot, I have two great dogs! What more could a woman want!

The "dumping" has been stopped!!