I have been doing alot of thinking, crying, laughing, celebrating and being a lil sad. October is always a difficult time for me. We are taught to celebrate anniversaries and by celebrating the good anniversaries, we also remember the one's that are not so good!
Yesterday, I was pleasantly surprised on my Facebook page to find so many people feeling as I did. It was validation, I am not crazy and yes it still hurts! As I was reading through the comments, posts, prayers and kind words, all I kept thinking is "how did I get through it?"
The poem Footprints.
The day my sister passed, I stopped believing in God, saying to myself "if there was a God, my God, wouldn't have done this to me!" So, easy enough, there wasn't a heaven or hell or God! Now, that I look back on that time, I am constantly reminded of that poem Footprints. But, when I picture myself being carried by the Father, I didn't believe in, I see so many people behind and on the sides of and in front of us! All these people, were the ones who carried my faith, for me during this time. They were the ones who continued to believe, pray and speak kindness and life into me! Maybe it is strange to you, but not to me. It makes perfect sense, because I still talk and hear from people that tell me they have never stopped praying for myself and my family, that's how I know. I wouldn't have ever come to the place of understanding as I have now, if it weren't for those that didn't give up, who at times were "carrying me" with their faith.
I am once again overwhelmed and the love and support God continues to send and the kindness in people, it is absolutely AMAZING!