This is just an outlet for me, to be able to get my thoughts out! I am a Woman, Wife and Mommy that also works outside the home! Just me trying to make it all work for the best for my family and myself! Just my journey!

Saturday, June 13, 2009

This is Not How it Was Planned.....Part 1

If someone would have told me 25 years ago, that I would have 3 children and a husband of 15 years and be working for the Railroad (playing with locomotives), I would have never believed them, not even God!
Almost 25 years ago, in July, my family and I sat around a table at Giovanni's, sharing a pizza and discussing every one of our futures.
Dad's Stained Glass business would be thriving
I would be a Master Chief
Windy would be a Photographer
Mom would be helping us all!
So NOT how it turned out, but that night, it was so fun planning it. Listening to Windy tell me "I'll take pictures for your cookbook and include dad's stained glass windows in the background"! Sounded wonderful and the fun we had planning that, is absolutely priceless!
Just 3 short years later that really changed
I don't forget that night we all shared and the planning and dreaming we did for our own future and each others! Today, it serves as an amazing memory!
I know God works everything for our good and that is exactly what He has done. But, if you would have told me, that I would be looking forward to 10 hours on the railroad until I was off for 47 hours! I would have laughed in your face!
I love the life that I have. I do not love how I got here! I can't stand the day that changed my life so much.
I don't like that our family trip in 84 was the last of it's kind, and if someone would have told me that it would be our last as a whole family, I would have called them a liar.
A change of events over the years have brought me to this point. A change of dreams and plans. Dreams and plans that in 1985 seemed so real and true. Nothing could break them.
I can also remember, adjusting my dreams again in 1987, to keep, what part I had in Windy's dream, to make her proud. I would have done anything to keep her memory alive and many times still do.
I kept my mom very close and always adjusted to what she needed at the time. If mom was unhappy with what was going on, I changed it!
I kept my mom and family close. These times were tough and life changing, the amount of changes that took place is astounding.
My plans, my dreams and even more so my heart changed.

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