This is just an outlet for me, to be able to get my thoughts out! I am a Woman, Wife and Mommy that also works outside the home! Just me trying to make it all work for the best for my family and myself! Just my journey!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Some Days

Some days are tougher than others. Some days are easy!
Yesterday, I had one of those tougher than other days. I really really really missed my sister! What triggered it? Flowers in the grocery store. They weren't even Windy's favorite flower, they were Lilly's! They were orange and vibrant beautiful, full of spring! Easter was her favorite holiday and Orchids were her favorite flower! I haven't seen any orchids yet this year! I so hope for Mother's Day they are out! Anyway, I immediately began to well up with tears. I hate that, I can't control it! It just happens and it happens fast! I couldn't shop any longer, whatever I had, I had and if something was missing we would have to do without! No worries, I bought the flowers! Had to! Came home and sobbed to my friends and to my hubby!
Then I realized! You know, it really doesn't get easier, I just cope better! From time to time, I let down my guard and I don't cope as well!
Honestly, I'd rather have the tougher days than never to have known and loved her! Honestly, 20 years later it still hurts and hurts just like the day she was taken! My heart just aches for my sister!
I know that anyone who has gone through the loss of a loved one can totally relate!
This is my heart!


  1. Oh Chrissy, I am giving you a big hug right now, I hope you can feel it. I can't even imagine what you are feeling. I know how I feel having my sister miles away, but I still can communicate with her. You are allowed to have these days. Thoughts are with you! I think lillies are a beautiful flower....

  2. It's ok to have those days. Love you!