Please STOP it!!!!!!

OH MY WOW!!  That's my line and will now  be referred to as OMW!!  I really like the word wow and use it alllllll the time, to the point where, when a coworker calls on the roundhouse line and they know it's me on the other end, I hear; "WOW!! Roundhouse Chrissy, OVER!"  SEE that's me, wow!!  All I can say is Wow!!  Does anyone remember Joey, from the sitcom; Give Me a Break?  I do and Joey's lil crazy voice saying "wow" is what I hear when I say it!

Hmmm, way off track here, I digress!
Back to the task at hand!

The words "STOP IT" refer to me in so many ways right now!

I could say STOP IT to

planning
cooking
worrying
thinking
worrying (ooops I said that already)
grocery shopping
willing power in
allowing myself to become frustrated
expecting tooooo much from my kiddos
worrying
eating
jealousy
ohhh so many more!

Most of all I need to stop worrying and just wait!  My worry comes from not being in control and not being able to make things happen!
This isn't where I was going either!  Movin'on Chrissy!!

I am mostly speaking to  myself here.  But it has been a constant prayer on my heart.  I do it and I hate, really HATE, when I do it.  I compare myself and allow myself to believe the whole "I'm so busy compared to you" thing!
I tell my friends, not to compare themselves!
I NAG my kids and hubby about the entire comparing thing
and yet here I am!!!!!
Every day, I pray and I receive my answer.
My answer is quite simple:  "STOP IT"!  I also hear the explanation......your capacity is only your capacity (translation:  your busy is only your busy).  I realize, for the moment, what I am doing and where I am and I hear the words "your busy is NOT my busy"
I have heard these words spoken recently, not only by myself, but by so many others!
I PRAY AND PRAY AND PRAY!  I pray that I won't be so busy and that someone else can be busy or that, I won't be so busy "right now" and I receive that answer.................................................

STOP IT!  MY BUSY IS ONLY MY BUSY!

THE LINE

I used the line today
It was a line my Mother had used with me several times, during my youth
I have used many of "the lines" since the kiddos came into my life
But this one just never came up!
Not that I had a problem with it or that it had some horrible memory with it, just that I've never used it!
and Today............
It just came out of my mouth!

I've never used it before, so it was a big surprise to me, when it came out!

You know that line:

When I say jump, you say, how high?!!

I have to say, it was good!  Very good!  It spoke perfectly and gave a visual image to my expectations and levels of respect and obedience expected from my kiddos! 

It was "spot-on"!  

15

I still can't figure out why God allows this whole, growing up thing!!  But He does!  He let's them grow up as consequences dictate!

As much as I complain about the growing up "thing", I love who he is becoming and what he is about!

Adam turned 15 and he did it while the grace and the style of a gentleman!
I love that!!!!!!!

They grow up to fast!
I love that I am allowed to be apart of it.  I'm allowed to make a difference in his life and for that I am thankful.  I take my role seriously and I understand completely that I am apart of who he becomes! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADAM!!!!!!

DREAMING

I have heard many people, mostly women, talk about their dream house.  I've heard about cutting out pictures, usually out of magazines, of what you want in your home.  It sounds so cool and like a great way to dream and bring it all together.  It sounds like a great visual to begin bringing a dream to life. 
For years I have pondered the cutting out of pictures and I have even tried it.  I never have actually gotten around to the "cutting" part.  I enjoy looking at the home magazines and have found many things that would be cool or that I could enjoy, but never anything that I could pinpoint that I wanted for our home, nothing that said the words "dream home" to me.

This bothered me, it bothered me that I didn't know what I want.  I began to really research myself  and find out what I wanted, after all, it's always been me to know exactly know what I want, or at least to know that I don't know what I want and be searching for the answers! 

I began to question myself and find my own answers, but when it came to what I thought I really wanted, the more I realized I didn't have specifics for a home.  As I went through individual rooms and ideas, I realized all of my answers went to the same place.  First, the answers for specific details always went to my husband, what would he want and what does he like (this isn't a bad thing).  Larbo has always had an eye for design and a heart for beauty in the home, couple that with his understanding of functionality and walla.....we have a beautiful home and excellent ideas.  Second thing I realized, my answers always went to feeling.  I couldn't define a design for a dream home for our family, but I could define the feeling and the desires I have that I want my dream home to encourage and to help produce. 

My reality, I don't have pictures of a dream home and it really doesn't matter the size or the style of my home and my dream home doesn't even have an idea of square footage, it doesn't even have a specific amount of rooms or bathrooms.  I do have a few luxuries that would be nice to have but nothing that would have to be there to make it my dream home.

I like what I found, I like where this went and I enjoyed discovering myself and my reality that I have always known what I wanted.

I want a home that is family oriented and encourages dreamers with desires along with drive to get it.  My dream home is filled with love and peace.  It is filled with strong discipline and clear concise expectations, not over the top discipline or expectations, just enough to help with the proper direction for each individual in our home.  My dream home is a place to build love of family and friendships.  It's a place that is welcoming and kind.

More of my reality, Larbo and I have my dream home and we always have, even when I lived in my 1000 sq. ft. ranch.  God granted me my dream home long before I realized what it was that I wanted, long before I could put it into words!  It is the feeling and the strong desire I dream about for us that is my dream home.  I'm living in it!   My dream home isn't in the pictures of a magazine, it's in the celebrations, memories and the photo albums of the photos we have taken over the years and in the photos and the celebrations to come, it's the feeling I look for when I dream and when I wake up from my dream, I'm living it!  Even with the trials we have faced, we are still in my dream home.

The beauty of this is, Larbo has the functionality and the specifics figured and I will still look to him for the picture perfect home......right now, right where we are is my dream home, it's the feeling I look for in my dream home and not the pictures of specifics cut out from a magazine......

Back In Business

We are wired up again!  It may only be a lap top for now, but it is a computer!  I am still searching for the right desktop for our family (ahem, with the right price tag).  I really don't like the idea that they can "carry" the Internet around with them, to any room in the house, let alone the "dropping" factor!  For now, it will do.  Before school is back in session, a desktop is a necessity!

I have pictures to share and thoughts rolling in my head and even a few journal entries that I have recorded.  I don't know if I will get around to sharing them on my blog, they may have just been entries and thoughts for me, I'm still going through them and pondering them.  Trying to figure out what exactly it is I am supposed to take away from them!

Mitchy has been fighting some, what I would call, health issues.  He has been poked, prodded, run through machinery, and asked bazillions of questions.  Now, we have all the test results back, up to this point and all of them only show; he does fight migraine headaches (he's only 9) and we are thankful it isn't anything worse and we pray this is something he will grow out of.  The other results show, NOTHING!  I'm thankful for the nothing, but I wonder if it isn't still lurking in the background and if it isn't going to sneak up on us one day, makes my heartache and leaves me with a ton of concern.  What I am left with is the words "wait and see", I think every parent really hates those words, I don't want to "wait and see", I want treatment or a clear, concise, it's nothing..........yes, all tests show that it is nothing and that's what I have to go on. Then, the Doctor threw in those words "if the symptoms come back", my hope was deflated!  We pray it's nothing and that the symptoms don't come back and we continue to pray healing over him and for the migraines to be gone.  I know I need to get to the point where I'm not praying for what isn't there, where I am not praying please don't let the symptoms come back, but as a mom, that's my prayer for now!
I know you all understand where my heart and head are on this one.....

The good thing about having a computer is the amount of stuff that got done, the bad part is there wasn't a release for me, I'm not big on TV so I look forward to my Internet time and especially getting my thoughts out on a screen and the positive reinforcement and encouragement I receive from that, it also helps me to think that, maybe I can help someone else with my own realities!  Selfish........yep, I think so, but maybe just maybe in some aspects it isn't so selfish!

Anyhow, selfish, unselfish, release or no release......read or unread, I am back in business and happy to be that way!

checkin in'

Real quick!
My computer is dead
Power supply or the mother board (parts on order)
The kids are out of school for summer break
I have had a vacation
Been to Las Vegas
Went to a wedding
I have also been to a family reunion
We have been able to go camping as a family
All the kiddos have been promoted to their next grade----WHEW~
I continue to drop weight-ooohh soooo slllooowwwlly (down 25lbs total)
We have huge dirt piles in our side yard
I'm learning new stuff at work....WAY COOL!
I have tons to share and no time right now!
I miss my blogging.......it's such a great outlet for me!