I miss blogging!
I miss thinking about what to blog about!
I miss journaling my day and my time!
I miss the comments!
I miss you...but I haven't left!
I'm just to doggone tired to think!
When I'm less tired, I'll blog, journal!
I really will!
I think that the stuff my kiddos and myself and hubby are going through, are typical of most US families!
So I know you understand!
I MISS YOU!!!!!
Friday, May 20, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
I WISH
I haven't blogged lately, on account of, the stuff, on my mind, I can't share!
I mean I could share, but my kiddos are getting older and that means there's less I can share!
But the victories are so much sweeter and they let me share those!
When I started blogging, my kiddos had no clue and didn't even know what a blog was! Since 2007 they have learned and been through quite a bit!
Not all of it is pretty and fairy tale like!
There isn't always a rainbow involved!
Rest assured, there is always a lesson involved!!! A BEAUTIFUL, HEARTFELT, lesson!! I love sharing lessons!
And I will, as soon as my kiddos can read it and approve it, or make changes to it and then approve it, I will share it!
Their hearts are still beautiful, their love is still amazing!
But they still need guidance and I'm finding, as they get older, they need more guidance and they are less than willing to accept it right away!
Oh how I miss the two year old that kept me a 'not so pretty, hot-sweaty mess' all the time!
My 'not so pretty, hot-sweaty mess' is now kept on the inside and sometimes, I wish someone could see it and other times I'm thankful that no one can!
I know we will make it through this stuff and I know we will ALL be better for it!
But right now, I wish I was that 'not so pretty, hot-sweaty mess' Mom, of a two year old again! It wasn't so bad!!
But you know, I love how God is working in them and inside their hearts! I love the who they are turning out to be! I love their hearts!
You know, the cool thing is, their hearts', are ALWAYS, in the right place!
Unfortunately, it doesn't always match the action!
I WISH it were easy, but I'm thankful for the path we are on!
It's not always easy, BUT it's RIGHT!
I mean I could share, but my kiddos are getting older and that means there's less I can share!
But the victories are so much sweeter and they let me share those!
When I started blogging, my kiddos had no clue and didn't even know what a blog was! Since 2007 they have learned and been through quite a bit!
Not all of it is pretty and fairy tale like!
There isn't always a rainbow involved!
Rest assured, there is always a lesson involved!!! A BEAUTIFUL, HEARTFELT, lesson!! I love sharing lessons!
And I will, as soon as my kiddos can read it and approve it, or make changes to it and then approve it, I will share it!
Their hearts are still beautiful, their love is still amazing!
But they still need guidance and I'm finding, as they get older, they need more guidance and they are less than willing to accept it right away!
Oh how I miss the two year old that kept me a 'not so pretty, hot-sweaty mess' all the time!
My 'not so pretty, hot-sweaty mess' is now kept on the inside and sometimes, I wish someone could see it and other times I'm thankful that no one can!
I know we will make it through this stuff and I know we will ALL be better for it!
But right now, I wish I was that 'not so pretty, hot-sweaty mess' Mom, of a two year old again! It wasn't so bad!!
But you know, I love how God is working in them and inside their hearts! I love the who they are turning out to be! I love their hearts!
You know, the cool thing is, their hearts', are ALWAYS, in the right place!
Unfortunately, it doesn't always match the action!
I WISH it were easy, but I'm thankful for the path we are on!
It's not always easy, BUT it's RIGHT!
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Label Me a Positive Outcome of Surving or Just Plain a Success
the word "SURVIVOR" pisses me off!!
Surviving is good..don't get me wrong!! Surviving anything is quite amazing!
But there comes a point when you no-longer want to be known as a "survivor" you want to be known as a positive outcome of surviving!!
Does that make sense?
I want to be a success of surviving!
I have survived many of things...but I have succeeded in being a positive outcome of surviving sexual abuse, molestation!! Incest,, call it what you want, it's all gross and all nasty!
It just angers me to hear the words "survivor" and then it just stops!! SURVIVOR, really?? that's it, that's where it ends??? Ummm, I don't think sooooooo!!!!
To me, survival means, making it through! Surviving!
NOT ENOUGH!
That's not the PROMISE I received!
My PROMISE, THE one I received, says "success"!
God doesn't tell me when the ultimate success comes, but let me tell you, just SURVIVING isn't enough!!
YES, at the beginning, SURVIVING IS ENOUGH!
At the beginning of being abused, realizing the abuse or facing the abuse, SURVIVING is enough!
SURVIVING IS MORE THAN ENOUGH
But there comes a point, when you no longer see yourself as a "survivor" and don't want to be labeled a 'survivor" any longer!
There comes a point when you want to labeled as a 'success' at surviving!
If you're one of the few that have never been abused, this may confuse you. But if you are a survivor of any kind of abuse, I believe, you 'get' where I'm coming from!
I no longer want to be known as a survivor
HavE YOU WATCHED THE SHOW SURVIVOR??? Those people survive through there time on the show! Much as a survivor of sexual abuse!! During the abuse and the facing the abuse, we merelly survive!
I'm no longer OK with the label as 'survivor'!
so when you introduce me to someone or you bring me to a meeting to speak or you think of me,
PLEASE, allow me to be labeled 'a positive outcome to surviving sexual abuse"!
I need that, I need to be success of surviving! NOT JUST A SURVIVOR!!
Surviving is good..don't get me wrong!! Surviving anything is quite amazing!
But there comes a point when you no-longer want to be known as a "survivor" you want to be known as a positive outcome of surviving!!
Does that make sense?
I want to be a success of surviving!
I have survived many of things...but I have succeeded in being a positive outcome of surviving sexual abuse, molestation!! Incest,, call it what you want, it's all gross and all nasty!
It just angers me to hear the words "survivor" and then it just stops!! SURVIVOR, really?? that's it, that's where it ends??? Ummm, I don't think sooooooo!!!!
To me, survival means, making it through! Surviving!
NOT ENOUGH!
That's not the PROMISE I received!
My PROMISE, THE one I received, says "success"!
God doesn't tell me when the ultimate success comes, but let me tell you, just SURVIVING isn't enough!!
YES, at the beginning, SURVIVING IS ENOUGH!
At the beginning of being abused, realizing the abuse or facing the abuse, SURVIVING is enough!
SURVIVING IS MORE THAN ENOUGH
But there comes a point, when you no longer see yourself as a "survivor" and don't want to be labeled a 'survivor" any longer!
There comes a point when you want to labeled as a 'success' at surviving!
If you're one of the few that have never been abused, this may confuse you. But if you are a survivor of any kind of abuse, I believe, you 'get' where I'm coming from!
I no longer want to be known as a survivor
HavE YOU WATCHED THE SHOW SURVIVOR??? Those people survive through there time on the show! Much as a survivor of sexual abuse!! During the abuse and the facing the abuse, we merelly survive!
I'm no longer OK with the label as 'survivor'!
so when you introduce me to someone or you bring me to a meeting to speak or you think of me,
PLEASE, allow me to be labeled 'a positive outcome to surviving sexual abuse"!
I need that, I need to be success of surviving! NOT JUST A SURVIVOR!!
Saturday, April 9, 2011
ONE CONTRACTOR.....PLEASE!
Some advice for having work done in your house!!
Hopefully a way to get it back sooner, from a woman that has been without for 4+ months!!
GO WITH AS LITTLE CONTRACTORS AS POSSIBLE!!
If you can use one, USE ONE!!
I can tell you, our contractor has already requested to go with one contractor on his own home (fire issue)!! Uh-hummm, he learned from me, THANK GOD!!!
If I could have learned this from someone before me, I would've been thankful!!
It's different when your contracting to "build" your own home, from when you are repairing your own home!!
For some reason, everyone thinks you'll be ok, NO MATTER how long it's been, that you have been without! Because, your not out of a home, they honestly figure your ok!!
Lettme tell you.......being without a kitchen for over 4 MONTHS is INSANE!!!!!!!!! TOTALLY INSANE!!
We have remodelled a kitchen and we were without it for just under 3 months and that was CRAZY INSANE, BUT THIS IS WORSE!!
Having a family, having one person, in a home without a kitchen is CRAZY! Then you add in the time.....then you add in the missed bed times, the missed dinners, the half-assed washed dishes, the NO KITCHEN thing and it's totally INSANE!!
Think about purchasing a home without a kitchen....you wouldn't even do it!!! Because it's STUPID!!
I was so close to having my house back, including my kitchen!! But STUPID me decided we needed a dishwasher to match!!
God has blessed my family every step of the way, from the moment I heard "MOM, FIRE"!
My entire family walked out fine and was able to grab clothes and able to grab different shoes and NONE of my photos were ruined beyond recognition! Now some of them were burned and my heart is heavy and will never be the same, none the less, GOD has blessed us every step of the way!
Nason's, however has messed us up!! Maybe they've saved me money!! But they messed us up!! I paid cash for my appliances.......and I didn't make Nason's wait for my insurance....I'll wait for my insurance!! WRONG, WRONG, WRONG......wait for your insurance!! Let them pay what they would've and make the appliance company wait for your insurance!!! Order early and make them wait!! I ordered early and paid......should've made them wait for the insurance to pay......then we would have received all 4 appliances at the same time and they would have been installed by the SAME , only ONE Contractor, I hired in the beginning!!
]Needless to say, I am going to get my money back for my dishwasher tomorrow and at that time I will also fight the "installation" charge........I guess installation and delivery are the same thing these days!! Because this Nason's just dropped and I paid for installation and guess who did the installation???
OH YEA, your right............ME the HOMEOWNER!!
GO WITH ONE CONTRACTOR, WALLS, FLOOR, APPLIANCES, PAINT, INSTALLATION, CARRY AWAY....ALL OF IT, GO WITH ONE CONTRACTOR, INSIST ON IT!!!!!!
Hopefully a way to get it back sooner, from a woman that has been without for 4+ months!!
GO WITH AS LITTLE CONTRACTORS AS POSSIBLE!!
If you can use one, USE ONE!!
I can tell you, our contractor has already requested to go with one contractor on his own home (fire issue)!! Uh-hummm, he learned from me, THANK GOD!!!
If I could have learned this from someone before me, I would've been thankful!!
It's different when your contracting to "build" your own home, from when you are repairing your own home!!
For some reason, everyone thinks you'll be ok, NO MATTER how long it's been, that you have been without! Because, your not out of a home, they honestly figure your ok!!
Lettme tell you.......being without a kitchen for over 4 MONTHS is INSANE!!!!!!!!! TOTALLY INSANE!!
We have remodelled a kitchen and we were without it for just under 3 months and that was CRAZY INSANE, BUT THIS IS WORSE!!
Having a family, having one person, in a home without a kitchen is CRAZY! Then you add in the time.....then you add in the missed bed times, the missed dinners, the half-assed washed dishes, the NO KITCHEN thing and it's totally INSANE!!
Think about purchasing a home without a kitchen....you wouldn't even do it!!! Because it's STUPID!!
I was so close to having my house back, including my kitchen!! But STUPID me decided we needed a dishwasher to match!!
God has blessed my family every step of the way, from the moment I heard "MOM, FIRE"!
My entire family walked out fine and was able to grab clothes and able to grab different shoes and NONE of my photos were ruined beyond recognition! Now some of them were burned and my heart is heavy and will never be the same, none the less, GOD has blessed us every step of the way!
Nason's, however has messed us up!! Maybe they've saved me money!! But they messed us up!! I paid cash for my appliances.......and I didn't make Nason's wait for my insurance....I'll wait for my insurance!! WRONG, WRONG, WRONG......wait for your insurance!! Let them pay what they would've and make the appliance company wait for your insurance!!! Order early and make them wait!! I ordered early and paid......should've made them wait for the insurance to pay......then we would have received all 4 appliances at the same time and they would have been installed by the SAME , only ONE Contractor, I hired in the beginning!!
]Needless to say, I am going to get my money back for my dishwasher tomorrow and at that time I will also fight the "installation" charge........I guess installation and delivery are the same thing these days!! Because this Nason's just dropped and I paid for installation and guess who did the installation???
OH YEA, your right............ME the HOMEOWNER!!
GO WITH ONE CONTRACTOR, WALLS, FLOOR, APPLIANCES, PAINT, INSTALLATION, CARRY AWAY....ALL OF IT, GO WITH ONE CONTRACTOR, INSIST ON IT!!!!!!
Monday, March 28, 2011
You Can't Stay Here
And you can't go home!!
4 different check-ins
3 different hotels
5 days
all within 1/2 mile of each other!
What a Spring Break for the kiddos!!
By the time the last day of the hotel came, the kiddos were begging to go home!!
On a + side, all the hotels had pools and they enjoyed their time in them!
On the - side, we just weren't HOME!!
Floors are done
Cabinets are in and just need a few tweaks on the cabinets!!
Painting will be starting soon!!
Appliances are ordered!!
4 different check-ins
3 different hotels
5 days
all within 1/2 mile of each other!
What a Spring Break for the kiddos!!
By the time the last day of the hotel came, the kiddos were begging to go home!!
On a + side, all the hotels had pools and they enjoyed their time in them!
On the - side, we just weren't HOME!!
Floors are done
Cabinets are in and just need a few tweaks on the cabinets!!
Painting will be starting soon!!
Appliances are ordered!!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Watching
Watching my children, doesn't mean I'm waiting for them to do something wrong......
It means I'm watching, I'm there, I'm available and I care!
Sometimes I get to watch as one of them, takes a situation and handles it.
Sometimes I get to watch one of them care for another human being.....
sometimes, that person is even a sibling.
But I do watch and I do enjoy those beautiful moments!
I do watch and give correction and discipline when necessary!
But I'm here watching, available and caring.
I'm watching for the good, beautiful, ugly.
Sometimes, I'm just there to watch and not give any feedback.
Sometimes, I jump in right away.
Its whatever is needed in that kiddos life, at that moment!
I watched the other day as Adam took time for a child, he didn't even know and devoted time and energy to him........
I just watched and smiled!
I'm very thankful to be there to "watch"!
I am there to watch when correction needs to take place. I'm here and watching!
It means I'm watching, I'm there, I'm available and I care!
Sometimes I get to watch as one of them, takes a situation and handles it.
Sometimes I get to watch one of them care for another human being.....
sometimes, that person is even a sibling.
But I do watch and I do enjoy those beautiful moments!
I do watch and give correction and discipline when necessary!
But I'm here watching, available and caring.
I'm watching for the good, beautiful, ugly.
Sometimes, I'm just there to watch and not give any feedback.
Sometimes, I jump in right away.
Its whatever is needed in that kiddos life, at that moment!
I watched the other day as Adam took time for a child, he didn't even know and devoted time and energy to him........
I just watched and smiled!
I'm very thankful to be there to "watch"!
I am there to watch when correction needs to take place. I'm here and watching!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Burnt!
Stopped at the grocery store on the way home!!
Remember it's only to replace what is necessary in a house that doesn't cook, EVEN in a microwave!
Chatted with my mom on the way home and she reminded me of what was NEEDED in our home!
Opened the garage door to bring in the groceries, that we needed!!
The moment I walked in through the garage door, I thought "whew, what's smokin'"
Oh right, the kitchen cabinets, I SET ON FIRE, are in the garage!!
When I looked up and found where the smell was coming from. all I could think was, whew, thank GOD those are out of the house!!
And then I wondered, what am I gonna smell when I open the boxes I stored stuff in!
OK!! Let me tell you:
I have had a decent week at work!
I have been TRAINING!!! Developing people, I LOVE LOVE LOVE, developing people!! And this people is another FEMALE (OH YEAH, we are taking over the RR too!!)
I've also heard from my niece that blesses me, I think without even knowing it!!
And I have had an interview I have BLOWN!!!!!
(Yep, I really think I'm staying where I am, FOR NOW)
OK, BACK ON TRACK......
I wondered what I would smell when we finally opened the boxes I have stored our stuff in!
And THEN, I walked into my UNFINISHED kitchen!
I saw the cabinets we purchased, the cabinets to replace our cabinets!!
No COUNTER TOP IN PLACE YET!
NO APPLIANCES IN PLACE YET!
And I stood back and admired the cabinets and how beautiful they are!
And ALL I COULD DO WAS ASK GOD......
'Why is it YOU bless me so much??'
No answer
I thought about my night!
A note from my Niece
A success at work
A person who embraces new things and doesn't complain
The call from my Hubby, telling me "my mom's going to love this" (which prepared me only slightly for what I was going to see)
A refusal to give in to stress, Thanks to another GREAT Niece!! (oh yeah, my salad was amazing and I didn't have room for the bread)
And all I could do, was stand back and thank God for the PEOPLE in my life!!
Yes, the cabinets are BEAUTIFUL! But, the man that put them in is more beautiful!
I don't know why, God blesses a woman who has burnt her OWN kitchen, I only know that He does!
And the people he has blessed me to be around, is far more than the burnt smell I have left myself with!
Remember it's only to replace what is necessary in a house that doesn't cook, EVEN in a microwave!
Chatted with my mom on the way home and she reminded me of what was NEEDED in our home!
Opened the garage door to bring in the groceries, that we needed!!
The moment I walked in through the garage door, I thought "whew, what's smokin'"
Oh right, the kitchen cabinets, I SET ON FIRE, are in the garage!!
When I looked up and found where the smell was coming from. all I could think was, whew, thank GOD those are out of the house!!
And then I wondered, what am I gonna smell when I open the boxes I stored stuff in!
OK!! Let me tell you:
I have had a decent week at work!
I have been TRAINING!!! Developing people, I LOVE LOVE LOVE, developing people!! And this people is another FEMALE (OH YEAH, we are taking over the RR too!!)
I've also heard from my niece that blesses me, I think without even knowing it!!
And I have had an interview I have BLOWN!!!!!
(Yep, I really think I'm staying where I am, FOR NOW)
OK, BACK ON TRACK......
I wondered what I would smell when we finally opened the boxes I have stored our stuff in!
And THEN, I walked into my UNFINISHED kitchen!
I saw the cabinets we purchased, the cabinets to replace our cabinets!!
No COUNTER TOP IN PLACE YET!
NO APPLIANCES IN PLACE YET!
And I stood back and admired the cabinets and how beautiful they are!
And ALL I COULD DO WAS ASK GOD......
'Why is it YOU bless me so much??'
No answer
I thought about my night!
A note from my Niece
A success at work
A person who embraces new things and doesn't complain
The call from my Hubby, telling me "my mom's going to love this" (which prepared me only slightly for what I was going to see)
A refusal to give in to stress, Thanks to another GREAT Niece!! (oh yeah, my salad was amazing and I didn't have room for the bread)
And all I could do, was stand back and thank God for the PEOPLE in my life!!
Yes, the cabinets are BEAUTIFUL! But, the man that put them in is more beautiful!
I don't know why, God blesses a woman who has burnt her OWN kitchen, I only know that He does!
And the people he has blessed me to be around, is far more than the burnt smell I have left myself with!
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