Label Me a Positive Outcome of Surving or Just Plain a Success

the word "SURVIVOR" pisses me off!!
Surviving is good..don't get me wrong!!  Surviving anything is quite amazing!
But there comes a point when you no-longer want to be known as a "survivor" you want to be known as a positive outcome of surviving!!
Does that make sense?
I want to be a success of surviving!
I have survived many of things...but I have succeeded in being a positive outcome of surviving sexual abuse, molestation!!  Incest,,  call it what you want, it's all gross and all nasty!
It just angers me to hear the words "survivor" and then it just stops!!  SURVIVOR, really??  that's it, that's where it ends???  Ummm, I don't think sooooooo!!!!
To me, survival means, making it through!  Surviving!
NOT ENOUGH!
That's not the PROMISE I received!
My PROMISE, THE one I received, says "success"!
God doesn't tell me when the ultimate success comes, but let me tell you, just SURVIVING isn't enough!!
YES, at the beginning, SURVIVING IS ENOUGH!  
At the beginning of being abused, realizing the abuse or facing the abuse, SURVIVING is enough!
SURVIVING IS MORE THAN ENOUGH
But there comes a point, when you no longer see yourself as a "survivor" and don't want to be labeled a 'survivor" any longer!
There comes a point when you want to labeled as a 'success' at surviving!
If you're one of the few that have never been abused, this may confuse you.  But if you are a survivor of any kind of abuse, I believe, you 'get' where I'm coming from!
I no longer want to be known as a survivor
HavE YOU WATCHED THE SHOW SURVIVOR???  Those people survive through there time on the show! Much as a survivor of sexual abuse!!  During the abuse and the facing the abuse, we merelly survive!
I'm no longer OK with the label as 'survivor'!
so when you introduce me to someone or you bring me to a meeting to speak or you think of me,
PLEASE, allow me to be labeled 'a positive outcome to surviving sexual abuse"!
 I need that, I need to be success of surviving!  NOT JUST A SURVIVOR!!

ONE CONTRACTOR.....PLEASE!

Some advice for having work done in your house!!
  Hopefully a way to get it back sooner, from a woman that has been without for 4+ months!!

GO WITH AS LITTLE CONTRACTORS AS POSSIBLE!!
If you can use one, USE ONE!!

I can tell you, our contractor has already requested to go with one contractor on his own home (fire issue)!!  Uh-hummm, he learned from me, THANK GOD!!!

If I could have learned this from someone before me, I would've been thankful!!

It's different when your contracting to "build" your own home, from when you are repairing your own home!!
For some reason, everyone thinks you'll be ok, NO MATTER how long it's been, that you have been without!  Because, your not out of a home, they honestly figure your ok!!

Lettme tell you.......being without a kitchen for over 4 MONTHS is INSANE!!!!!!!!!  TOTALLY INSANE!!

We have remodelled a kitchen and we were without it for just under 3 months and that was CRAZY INSANE, BUT THIS IS WORSE!!
Having a family, having one person, in a home without a kitchen is CRAZY!  Then you add in the time.....then you add in the missed bed times, the missed dinners, the half-assed washed dishes, the NO KITCHEN thing and it's totally INSANE!!
Think about purchasing a home without a kitchen....you wouldn't even do it!!!  Because it's STUPID!!

I was so close to having my house back, including my kitchen!!  But STUPID me decided we needed a dishwasher to match!! 
God has blessed my family every step of the way, from the moment I heard "MOM, FIRE"!
  My entire family walked out fine and was able to grab clothes and able to grab different shoes and NONE of my photos were ruined beyond recognition!  Now some of them were burned and my heart is heavy and will never be the same, none the less, GOD has blessed us every step of the way!

Nason's, however has messed us up!!  Maybe they've saved me money!!  But they messed us up!!  I paid cash for my appliances.......and I didn't make Nason's wait for my insurance....I'll wait for my insurance!! WRONG, WRONG, WRONG......wait for your insurance!!  Let them pay what they would've and make the appliance company wait for your insurance!!!  Order early and make them wait!!  I ordered early and paid......should've made them wait for the insurance to pay......then we would have received all 4 appliances at the same time and they would have been installed by the SAME , only ONE Contractor, I hired in the beginning!!
]Needless to say, I am going to get my money back for my dishwasher tomorrow and at that time I will also fight the "installation" charge........I guess installation and delivery are the same thing these days!!  Because this Nason's just dropped and I paid for installation and guess who did the installation???
OH YEA, your right............ME the HOMEOWNER!!  
GO WITH ONE CONTRACTOR, WALLS, FLOOR, APPLIANCES, PAINT, INSTALLATION, CARRY AWAY....ALL OF IT, GO WITH ONE CONTRACTOR, INSIST ON IT!!!!!!

You Can't Stay Here

And you can't go home!!
4 different check-ins
3 different hotels
5 days
all within 1/2 mile of each other!
What a Spring Break for the kiddos!! 
By the time the last day of the hotel came, the kiddos were begging to go home!!

On a + side, all the hotels had pools and they enjoyed their time in them!
On the - side, we just weren't HOME!!
Floors are done 
Cabinets are in and just need a few tweaks on the cabinets!! 
Painting will be starting soon!!
Appliances are ordered!!

Watching

Watching my children, doesn't mean I'm waiting for them to do something wrong......
It means I'm watching, I'm there, I'm available and I care!
Sometimes I get to watch as one of them, takes a situation and handles it. 
Sometimes I get to watch one of them care for another human being.....
sometimes, that person is even a sibling.
But I do watch and I do enjoy those beautiful moments!
I do watch and give correction and discipline when necessary!
But I'm here watching, available and caring.
I'm watching for the good, beautiful, ugly.
Sometimes, I'm just there to watch and not give any feedback.
Sometimes, I jump in right away.
Its whatever is needed in that kiddos life, at that moment!

I watched the other day as Adam took time for a child, he didn't even know and devoted time and energy to him........
I just watched and smiled!

I'm very thankful to be there to "watch"! 

I am there to watch when correction needs to take place.  I'm here and watching!

Burnt!

Stopped at the grocery store on the way home!!
Remember it's only to replace what is necessary in a house that doesn't cook, EVEN in a microwave!
Chatted with my mom on the way home and she reminded me of what was  NEEDED in our home!
Opened the garage door to bring in the groceries, that we needed!!
The moment I walked in through the garage door, I thought "whew, what's smokin'"
Oh right, the kitchen cabinets, I SET ON FIRE, are in the garage!!
When I looked up and found where the smell was coming from. all I could think was, whew, thank GOD those are out of the house!!
And then I wondered, what am I gonna smell when I open the boxes I stored stuff in!
OK!!  Let me tell you:
I have had a decent week at work!
I have been TRAINING!!!  Developing people, I LOVE LOVE LOVE, developing people!! And this people is another FEMALE (OH YEAH, we are taking over the RR too!!)
I've also heard from my niece that blesses me, I think without even knowing it!!
And I have had an interview I have BLOWN!!!!!  
 (Yep, I really think I'm staying where I am, FOR NOW)

OK, BACK ON TRACK......
I wondered what I would smell when we finally opened the boxes I have stored our stuff in!
And THEN, I walked into my UNFINISHED kitchen! 
I saw the cabinets we purchased, the cabinets to replace our cabinets!!
No COUNTER TOP IN PLACE YET! 
NO APPLIANCES IN PLACE YET!
And I stood back and admired the cabinets and how beautiful they are!
And ALL I COULD DO WAS ASK GOD......
'Why is it YOU bless me so much??' 
No answer
I thought about my night!  
A note from my Niece
A success at work 
A person who  embraces new things and doesn't complain
The call from my Hubby, telling me "my mom's going to love this" (which prepared me only slightly for what I was going to see)
A refusal to give in to stress, Thanks to another GREAT Niece!!  (oh yeah, my salad was amazing and I didn't have room for the bread)
And all I could do, was stand back and thank God for the PEOPLE in my life!!
Yes, the cabinets are BEAUTIFUL! But, the man that put them in is more beautiful!
I don't know why, God blesses a woman who has burnt her OWN kitchen, I only know that He does!
And the people he has blessed me to be around, is far more than the burnt smell I have left myself with! 

Cutting Mustard

As I came to the computer to blog, I was prepared to write on something positive, on the differences of each one of my kiddos.  But when I sat down, this came flooding out of my fingers and I didn't stop it!
So how does everyone do it?  How do you keep a clean house?
How is it that you are a full time Mom and keep your house to perfection, including totally dusted??
(when I was a stay at home Mom, people expected so much of me and I had to tell the kiddos all the time "I'm a Mom, not a maid)
How is it that you manage a job and a household?
I really don't know how people manage both well!  If I'm doing one right, I'm doing the other one wrong!!
How is that I can walk into your house and its clean, totally clean, right down to the dusting and everything in it's place???
I CAN'T do it, it's impossible!!  Even as I sit here and blog, I barely have enough energy to blog, let alone cleaning something!!
How do you all do it??
I have been to so many, of my friends houses, that are so immaculate!!  How do you do it??
Enquiring minds want to know, or at least I do!!
And how do you do it, without the help of the kiddos??
Or do you do it with the help of kiddos??
Do your kids have chores?
EVERYDAY???!!
My kiddos have chores and please don't tell my kiddos if your kiddos do not have chores!! (That's just something they don't need to know and neither do I)!
I can't keep up, I can't keep it immaculate, even if everyone is doing their part!
It's lived in, ALWAYS, lived in!!
Even if we are planning a major party our house shows signs of LIVING IN IT!
Then you add the fact that I set my kitchen on fire, at the end of November, and we are living out of boxes and through construction!!  YEA, WE HAVE A LIVED IN HOUSE!!
There is always laundry to be done and even if I stay up to conquer all of it, someone does NOT walk out of the house in their PJ's and POOF there is a load of laundry!!
There's dog hair on the floor!  I think, dream, of not having dogs and then I'm sad!!!  My family is SAD!!  So the dog hair stays!
There is always dishes to be washed and they are on the counter, in the sink, in the dishwasher (if I'm lucky), on the table and in a room somewhere!!
There is always a sink or toilet or a shower that could use a scrubbing!!
So tell me, PLEASE, how do you do it?? 
Do you have Super Woman energy? 
Do you have Wonder Woman powers? 
Do you have Samantha's Nose??  What is it? 
Do you have an Alice?? 
Or do you deprive yourself of sleep and eating??
TELL ME!!  'CAUSE I DON'T GET IT!!!! AND I NEED TO!!

I Agreed!

I know everyone has days like this, but this the first one I have had exactly like this!
I was preparing my burnt to a crisp kitchen for the removal of the counter tops, granite counter tops that I adore, when I grabbed the broom out of the stairwell leading to the basement!  I vaguely remember my hubby telling me about a leak!
I grabbed the broom off of the wall and saw the water, downstairs!
I was still in my PJ's at 10:30 am!
I was cleaning from the moment I awoke!  I mean after I awoke and had my 2nd cup of coffee!
When I grabbed for the broom in the stairwell I peered down the stairs and realized there was water  at the end of the stairs!  In the 3  years we have been here I have never seen water at the end of the stairs!  I knew I needed to find out where the water was coming from.  I told myself that there had been alot of precipitation in the area, so I left it off to being so much water in the area.  It must have been too much precipitation in the area at the time.
I discovered a sprinkler, from the main water pipe to our home, in our basement!  Jammie's and hair soaked, but I discovered our problem!  
I walked back up our stairs, wet, in my Jammie's (mind you I am almost 40 and as much as I work out and as many push - ups as I do, I cannot fight gravity), dialed the phone to tell my husband that it was an issue of our pipes and hubby hung up to call a  plumber!
At that very moment, someone knocked on the door.  I have people replacing a pipeline on my property right now and the people at the front door had on alot of reflective gear, including hard hats!   so I answer every knock on the door, especially those with personal protective gear on (uh-hum PPE)!
Did I tell you, I'm still in my Jammie's, uh-hum, after cleaning like a fiend and finding a sprinkling pipe in the basement!  OH YEAH, I was frickin' hot, almost wet T-shirt contest hot!! Amazing even!  One boob pointing north and one south!!
I'm not quite sure who was more embarrassed, me, as I crossed my arms several times, in several different ways,  or the Contractor, that could barely look at me and apologized for catching me on a "lazy day in my Jammie's" (if he only knew) or the foreman, the gentleman he was introducing me too that couldn't even look at me (probably for fear he would ask "could you please put a sweatshirt on and we can start over")!
We finished our conversation, hubby called a plumber and I showered and put a bra on, oh yeah, and some other clothes  too!
All I can think at this time is: "when it rains it pours"  and then I told myself "God has a promise and I believe it!  and then I told myself that I needed to look forward to the "bright sunshine at the end of the rain"!  I found promise and love, in my moments of OMG!  I also told myself "as long as there are people working on the property, even in my Jammie's, I will be wearing a bra, even if that means I have to sleep in it"!
Afterward, I reflected and I prayed! God reminded me that I don't suffer without love, that my weakness is made perfect in His strength!  And then He reminded me that it was up to me, to make sure, I was wearing  proper clothing when answering a door, because it was better for everyone!  I agreed!