It is Not For Me to Understand

As Larry and I plan for tomorrow and plan for our future, my heart constantly breaks for my friend who has lost her husband! It is not mine to understand, as much as I want to, it is mine to help and give where I can. I pray constantly for her and her two children! Ron was a great man, husband and father! A neat young man, who, in my opinion, is just gone too fast (this is where I try to understand that it isn't mine to understand)! A one of a kind Ron! Ronnie would stop and check in on Larbo and I from time-to-time, he would call and make sure that we as friends were able to get together and enjoy each others families! It sucks, it soooooo sucks that he is gone! Neat part of Ronnie's life was watching him as a husband to his "high school sweetheart" and then to get to see him as a dad! Absolutely amazing!

Tomorrow we get to go and celebrate his life with his wife Wanda and other friends and family, some we have met and some we have the honor of meeting tomorrow! I am looking forward to the "stories of Ron" I will hear tomorrow!

Truth of it all though, my heart never stops hurting for his passing and for his family and friends that desperately miss him! I honestly believe that I'll wake up and find it is all a bad dream! I know the grieving process and I understand it, what I don't understand is why it was "his time"! This is the moment I understand that it isn't mine to understand or make sense of! It is mine to love, pray and give!

I pray often for understanding, even though I know it isn't mine! When I dream, even though I hate it, I can see Ron and I can see him giving of himself to all of us the way he did, my heart believes I am going to wake up and get a call from Ron, my mind knows different!

I am thankful, very very thankful for the Ronnie in my life! The way he taught me to be a better friend! I honestly, believe that the way we carry some one's good legacy is to show it in their families life, to make sure, absolutely certain, they are as well cared for as if Ron was still alive and taking care of Wanda and his children himself!

So tomorrow, Larry and I will go celebrate Ron's life and legacy with his family and friends and whoever else will join us!

I know I am a better person because of Ron! I pray that his legacy lives on through his wife and children, just as he wanted!

It doesn't make sense and I don't understand it, but it is not mine to understand!

The hardest parts in life are the parts we don't understand!

I didn't want to believe it

So, I went to another mom and confronted her with some serious stuff, and I wasn't yelled at and I wasn't rejected, and she didn't even get mad at me. This was so hard. I told her that I thought her son stole from our house. This young boy is a friend of my son, so it hurt to have to go to his Mom with this issue. My heart has been broken and continues to ache! My allegation was confirmed, by the boy's mom. Confirmation only made it hurt more. Then Adam came home from school and I needed to tell him that what I thought was true. Adam was hurt and he got angry, and then he was hurt again. I talked to him about this situation and explained what the other boy's mom had told me as a tear rolled down his cheek and couldn't help but to hurt for him! Why wasn't I wrong this time? I really really wanted to be wrong. I have been in touch with the parents of my son's friend and they are hurting and trying to deal with this, however, God has been with them through all of it, they have honestly felt His presence! I think the other mom would tell you that they physically saw God!!
God has also been with my family through all of it!! God has given Adam an awesome gift of easy forgiveness and he has forgiven! My husband is an awesome leader of our family and his given us good solid direction! It doesn't stop hurting overnight and I don't stop being concerned about this young man overnight! He really is a good boy, he made a bad choice, and now I hope that this was only the start and now it is ended. With this I am confident in restoration by God!!
My Windy was upset that she would have to work off money owed to me, I reassured her that I understood and that she should consider it paid off!
I myself, was very concerned for this family. Everything has gone well for them at this point. I honestly believe that this boy will be fine!
My family really loves this boy and we have always welcomed him in our home, we still love him, so for right now there needs to be some distance. So, yep, this one cuts right to my heart.
Adam's first words when I told him I suspected his friend: "I don't think so mom, he goes to church and is involved in good organizations!"
This is the perfect time for a good lesson: "Church doesn't make a person, we still have the freedom of choice. Just because someone goes to church all the time doesn't stop them from choosing wrong." God is not into force, He is into grace, God is kind and gentle. Adam understands now when I tell him it is his choice, it really is his choice!!
Please please pray for this family and also include my family in your prayers. Adam does hurt, and is very concerned about the "what next".
My answer, the only one, "continue to pray and always tell the truth and we will PUSH past!!!