Dear Me,

You know, I see you think you have it all figured out! Sorry to tell you, you just don't!
Your ideas are pretty good, but your ways need work!
You do have some pretty good kids, but they are easily to go astray! I saw you holding and cuddling Mitchell today and praying over him and leaving everything else aside, because he needed you! What about your other two kiddos?? Where have you been? You do know, they need to be cuddled, hugged and kissed too, right? You didn't forget about them, did you?
However, I also saw, your mind reeling at all the "stuff" that needed to be done!
I was watching you closely and I felt your heart jump every time Mitchy asked you to hold him!
I saw you wake up at 4:00am to kiss your husband goodbye and I felt your pain as you said goodbye, knowing all along that he wouldn't be home until late and on your day off! I heard in your heart how, it would be about what you could do to get it done and not how you could make your family feel special and desired!
I felt the pain in your heart when you said "have a good day at work" all along knowing, that the conversation between the two of you, last night, wasn't finished! I know that that is faaaar different than anything you have been accustomed to, during the time of your marriage! I have watched, many times, as the two of you have had conversations or disagreements and not ending them without being completed. I know this is a different point in your life! I want you to embrace it, take the continuing of a "conversation" or a "disagreement" as time to pray, think and ponder where it is you want to go with the conversation! Is it something that needs to be resolved? Is it something that honestly needs to be discussed? Is it something that is hurting the two of you or only one of you? Is it something that you shouldn't let go or is it something that needs to be let go?
I have been watching you and you get stressed out over the lil' stuff! I have watched as you have loved out loud and lately, I have watched as you have "held back" your love and compassion, on account of stess and anger!
I know this isn't you, I know you are learning a new routine and somewhat of a new life! Give yourself a break!
Give your family a break!
Finish the discussions that need to be finished and let those that, don't need to be completed go!
Do NOT withhold the love and compassion, you used to give so freely! That was, quite honestly, the way to be with your husband and children. Please know, that as much as you "feel" you are going through, so are they and none of them, as well as you, know how to deal with everything properly!
Chrissy, let some of the "stuff" go and hold on to the love and compassion! My goodness, don't forget to pray constantly!

His Word says, he will never leave you or forsake you, so continue to trust HIM for that!

Hey girl take it easy and give some wiggle room, for just awhile, until you and your family get used to this new "stage" in your life! Please, Please, PLEASE don't forget to enjoy it!

Let go of the details of the processes and policies for a moment, yep, I saw that today too!
I love you, I really do, I just don't like who you are right now!

What a Crazy Day

Mitchell is home from school, he and I have had the Flu Virus since Friday and it stinks! Good thing is we like each other and we like hanging out together (he is still to young to know mom's aren't cool). I have "rest days" on Sunday and Monday, now that will explain some of the rest of my storey!

Monday, get up with Windy and Adam and do the morning get ready for school routine. Windy is getting on her bus and "SLAM" there goes Hank out the door and running! My dogs have run off far too much lately, I could so beat them, but I never do, because I am so happy to see them when I find them (UGGGHHH)! Windy attempts to catch the dog, I am yelling at her "get on the bus, I'll get Hank" she reluctantly gets on the bus, my baby girl knows how hard he is to catch, but the Bus Driver is waiting! Bye Windy.

"Adam get your shoes on and help me get Hanky" I yell. I am already chasing him! Picture this, I still have my PJ's on (yes you are correct no Bra) and slippers, not even ones with rubber on the bottom, regular slippers, it has been raining and now I am running! Laugh here if you must, cause my feet are sliding and my boobs are out of control! (see the red in my face here) Adam is out and now chasing Hank where I leave off, because now I have chased him throughout half of our 12 acres and across the street, my lungs can't catch any oxygen and my boobs hurt! Adam turns around and calls to me, "Mom we need the quad Hank's running"! OK, I can get the quad, it is working now! I open the garage door and jump on the quad and it d o e s n ' t start! NOPE NOT AT ALL!

Adam is still chasing Hank through the back 6 and I cannot get the quad started, my slippers are now ruined and I cannot walk in them! I run inside, let Mitchy (poor Mitchy is so not well and just sleeping) know that I have to chase Adam, who is chasing Hank! I throw on my outback Boots and run out the door (yes your right still in PJ's and no Bra but now I have a jacket!) I am now yelling for both Adam and Hank! I am running, slow jogging, walking, and now I am turning around defeated! Not only is our dog lost, now I don't know how far Adam has chased him (he still thinks I am coming on the quad).

I am walking, shall I say, staggering up the side of a hill on the side of our house and I look toward the back 9 and there is Adam! No Hank, but man does Adam look beat up! I check him out head-to-toe and he is soaked from his waist down! I ask or rather holler "are you OK?" his reply "yes mom, I fell in the water in the way back chasing Hank, I didn't get him"!

At this point, I don't care, I need Adam warm and dry and to check on Mitchell and to get out of public without real clothes! Adam and I walk up to the house and I tell him to get showered and changed. Now, I check for car keys, where are my car keys, they are not in my purse and they are not in the basket by the front door. Text Larry. Larry texts back, your keys are in my pocket, sorry!

Now, I yell up the stairs at Adam "your home today, no keys"! I call Mitchell off school and immediately call Adam off of school. 3 hours later, Windy's school calls she is ill and needs to come home! Thanks to Aunt Polly Windy Makes it Home!!

This is all on Monday

Back to Hank

I have no keys for the car, I am 1 sick mama and I have 1 sick boy and 1 boy who is not doing so good and to boot he fell in water!

VOILA, the quad starts. I am looking for Hank again (with real clothes and even a bra on) man it is cold and I am not wearing gloves! I ride my quad through the back 9 and onto everyone Else's open property all the way to the Tree Farm, NO HANK! What else to do, but drive on the streets on a quad without my license! I can't find Hank! I drive through the neighborhood on the side of us, no Hank! Now I have given up and call Schererville Animal Control! HA, someone has Hank and he'll be home in a minute!

Animal Control Lady is where Hank visits when he gets out! I don't even have a chance to find him!

NOTE TO SELF: Next time, every time, take care of your babies and call animal control for everyone else!

My Youngest isn't A Baby Anymore

If I could only get that baby pic to post, give me a few weeks, I'll get it. Gramma you know the one! He was in a blanket a blue sleeper, looking so innocent!

Last week my youngest turned 8. After this, turning 8, I realize. I no longer have a baby. But maybe I do. Mitchell is something else. He brought this element of spontaneity to our lives as a family. The Dr. told me I was either 4 months pregnant or I was having twins. I told him I am 4 months pregnant. At that moment I accepted that I was pregnant, Mitchell started teaching me about life. He taught me not to take myself so serious and how to laugh. Mitchell also taught me how to stop and think, "really, if I go crazy over this, what are the consequences and is it really worth it?" Mitchell, has brought out that "belly laugh", I forgot I had and I am so thankful for him. I love that Larry and I didn't plan him, he was planned without our input or our "OK" and that he was planned, perfectly by God, he fits in our family and we would not be complete without him and He, God, definitely didn't need our help. I would have never planned Mitchell, but I cannot imagine my life without him, goes to show, God knows what he is doing!! He was the "perfect" boy on the day of his arrival, like every newborn is.

Mitchell has added so much to our family. I already told you about the power of the "belly laugh" he brought back, we didn't even know we were missing out on that, until Mitchell was born. He also brought to me, the power of slowing down. Best most awesome item I was missing, was slowing down and enjoying life. As soon as I found out I was pregnant with Mitchell, I realized I hadn't slowed down to enjoy life in a long time and I was missing out! I was so busy, trying to keep up "Our Image" (a entirely different post, but a good one) that I was missing out on the lives of my children, I was taking good care of them, but not enjoying them. Mitchell has been a lover and a charmer from day 1! He immediately taught me the joys of laughter and slowing down. I am so thankful for him every day.

As much as Mitchell is spontaneous, he is very diligent, he has a routine and a plan and follows it to a "T". When he gets up in the morning, there isn't any reason to prod him along, it is just his routine and stay out of his way, he knows what he has to do. He is the same diligent young man, after school, first child I ever let do homework in front of the T.V. I know, I know all the horrible mother things. I realized a while ago, that he needs the noise, he has never been in a silent home and when he has noise in the background he can actually focus, if he chooses. Mitchell is also not afraid to ask questions and find out why, in this aspect he is just like his father, Larry wants to know why and how something works and can do it no matter what noise is going on!! Amazing little man Mitchell is.

Mitchell does not sleep alone, he did when he was born until he was about 5, then he figured out how to climb in everyone Else's bed, he loves to be held while he sleeps. All of us, Myself, Larry, Adam, Windy, Nana, Grandpa Pat, Gramma and Papaw just hold him and he sleeps. Unfortunately, Mitchell has never been quiet, not even in his sleep, he snores!! He snores loud! Good thing, for at least my kids and Larry and I, we sleep hard and can sleep right through it, probably is even soothing to us!

Happy Birthday Mitchell and Thank you so much for all the JOYS you have added to our lives. I love you Baby Boy!!

Lamont!!

Here's his story and he is sticking to it!
Larry was riding around the pond on the quad (my quad). He was, in all honesty, knocking down the cattails around the pond so we could see the pond from the house (I really do enjoy the view of the pond now). While riding along the edge of the pond, that has been frozen for quite some time, on account of this cold winter, he suddenly came across an edge of the pond that wasn't frozen. The edge of ice grabbed the tire of the quad and pulled it in, Larry, thankfully, was able to jump off of the quad to safety (although, it is the edge and not real deep there at all) the quad was now half in the pond!! Now, Larry walks to the house, the pond is kind of back there, and asks (tells) our oldest son, Adam, "get your boots on we have to take the truck to get the quad out of the pond." Larry said this so nonchalantly, I really thought, No big deal. I headed upstairs to do whatever and everything and he and Adam got in the truck and headed to the pond. Now, I decide it is time to see what happened and I look out an upper-level window and watch as the truck start to pull on a tow strap hooked to the quad, and BOOM, tow strap breaks! Now, I watch as Adam and Larry get back in the truck and head to the shed. I went to meet them outside and Larry and Adam are searching for something to pull the Quad out of the pond. Adam found a couple of short tow straps. Now, I can see on Larry's face this wasn't really a good idea and I ask (because I am that sweet and that good of a wife) "do you want me to go get something, I can run to the store and buy something?" Larry replied, "no, we'll get it, we'll have to get close but, we'll get it." I walk inside and the boys take off in the truck!
Now I know, I have to be watching. So, upstairs to the window I go! Tow strap on the truck and on the quad! I see the truck starting to pull and not really going anywhere, I watch as the lights on the truck show reverse and forward, nothing moves and nothing changes. The next thing I hear, the phone ring, it is Larry "Your going to have to call a tow truck, now the truck is stuck too! Call someone close." I frantically go through the phonebook and find someone close and explain the situation. They sent out a regular tow truck!!! So not going to do anything!!! But, they give it a college try anyway! Now, they are calling for a big boy!
Thankfully the truck and the quad are out, but not without damage. The tire of the truck was stuck wedged under a shelf of ice, blowing the tire as they yank it out!! Still not sure about the quad, but it is in the garage, and when the weather warms up, maybe it will thaw out, drain and run.
Everyone in this situation was ok! Not every piece of equipment, but every person was fine.
In between all of the running and craziness, I had to take pics. This is what I saw!
Larry took everything in stride and kind of laughed about it, until it was time to pay the tow truck driver!!

If you look closely in the middle of the above picture you can see the two side tires of the quad sticking out of the water.

The truck really was half way in the pond!!!

I really wish I would have taken pictures of the first tow truck driver's truck. This man was so kind through it all!!

To quote my Father-in-Law: "What are you doing Lamont, You big dummy"!!

Too funny not to share!!

More of a Journal Entry

Mitchey came down this morning dressed for school and ready to cuddle up for a moment. He loves to cuddle with anyone, with Windy and Adam and even mom and dad. I asked him if he was ready for school and he was so for 15 minutes I got to hold my baby boy. I love that he loves being cuddled, I wonder if Adam would let me cuddle him. Bet, it depends on what happens in school that day.
I have a vivid memory of friends, they were all siblings, and they knew they could sit on mom's lap, no matter what their age and she would cuddle them and rock them and totally listen, I want to be that mom!
Monday last week was tough! Started out great and when I went to pick-up a "sick" Adam from school, my mom instinct told me he wasn't sick! I grilled him and explained lying (once again) to him and told him why, him and I need to be able to trust each other and in order to do that, he nnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeds to tell me the truth always, even about brushing teeth. After a few, lots'o, minutes of the grilling, on the way home in the car, he said "mom, I am not sick, I did not throw up!" I stopped the car and turned to listen. A teacher, a substitute is humiliating him and a few other students. Boy, my mom instincts kicked in HIGH GEAR, I turned the car around and marched in to talk to SOMEBODY, I didn't care who! We, Adam and I, walked back to the Guidance counselor's office and began to explain, what has been going on for quite some time. I explained, that I knew Adam is not making the best of grades, but this is unbelievable, and I am not going to stand for it. The Guidance Counselor (Good at her job) looked at me, in the eyes and stated "this is going to stop"! She then took up a conversation with Adam and they, Adam and the GC worked it out together, and then also began to work out what they, together would do about his grades! I walked out of that office, relieved and refreshed! Adam not only, received the help that he needed with a teacher, but also the accountability he needs for his grades and his homework! I felt empowered at that moment as a mom. I also felt, that Adam now trusted me more as his mom, that he knows now, not all battles are his alone, sometimes telling Mom helps!
Windy works so hard at everything she does, EVERYTHING! She works at school, being accepted by adults and her peers, she tries tries and tries! Last week, I watched her climb on top of Major (the horse she is taking riding lessons on) all by herself, no help and no ladder, pulled herself up and planted herself up there! She began to ride and question what she was doing, when the rooster and hen got loose! This turned into a game of chase them back to my brothers and without thinking she did it! No questioning what or how she would do it, she sat up straight and tall and just did it! I watched in AWE, this is my baby girl and she is doing it, without trying so hard! YES!
I absolutely still adore my Hubby! Yes, he still does a ton wrong, but he does so much right! Is it really possible to still be head over heels after almost 15 years of marriage? Maybe I am just sappy!
Note to self: I love love love all of my positions, but the one that I most love is the one where I am part of this family, as a wife and mom. Chrissy, I think your a little crazy, sappy and hormonal today, but enjoy it anyway!!

Crazy...fun... CRAZY

Adam is grounded, for grades, I sure hope this discipline works, I hope he gets the meaning. I know he is getting bored and it seems he is taking interest in his classes, something different from mom saying "I looked on edline today and.........." you may or may not know the drill, but I am sure you understand. I want to be understanding and give him the benefit of the doubt, but at some point, I just have to be MOM and say: "enough is enough"!!! YUK! I hate this part, I love that part of holding them responsible and teaching responsibility, but, I hate, HATE that they just don't get it from the start. OH YEA, I am a parent, because children need parents! Everything comes to Adam so easy, he forgets to turn in the other stuff! It kills me, he gets it, he understands it, he will succeed in life, he just needs to look at the DETAILS, just once in a while!!!

Windy started horse riding lessons and she looks so confident while doing it! I love watching my children's eyes light up because they are trying so hard to do something they love, because they "get it" not because they know it from the start, but because they get it and want to try hard at it! Her grades are good at school, she is trying so hard at school and her teacher even sees how hard she tries, Windy will accomplish anything that comes in front of her in life because she has that "go-get-it" attitude, she reminds me of her namesake! Windy, Yaya, is amazing!!!

Mitchell, his teacher called him "an old man in a young boys body" I laughed, and then it made me sad. He gets school, he is very detail oriented, he is very sensitive. He never misses a detail, but sometimes, he does miss out on the "bigger picture" he is so funny. Mitchell has always been able to make us laugh and he still likes to cuddle up with us (so does Yaya) but sometimes he so set on the details that he misses something bigger. His grades in school are great, he is a very good boy and to discipline all we have to do is raise our voice and he "gets it" but I hope he doesn't miss out on the bigger picture!

Each one of my children bring something different to my table of life, and I wouldn't be complete without them. One thing I concern, pray, focus, look at is: How am I completing their table of life, what am I bringing to it and also, Am I bringing enough?

It has been a good week...

Started out with following a Sandhill Crane that came to visit us......

He really is in there way out there in the hole you see in the brush. Mitch and I got up every morning on the weekend and searched for him, a couple of times we tried to get closer to take a better picture and we would scare him away, so we admired from afar. Sandhill Cranes migrate through this area both fall and spring more information here!

I was able to send in some pictures to his class, He had fun with that. He was able to lay the pictures out at the back of the classroom for his classmates to take their time looking at them. I was able to visit Mitchell's classroom and tell them about my "job". I think both Mitch and I enjoyed it! I was able, with help from a friend, to let them try on some of the safety "stuff" we use every day on the railroad. We passed around pictures and what was supposed to be 10 minutes turned into an hour!! Fun for both of us.

Yaya continues to find her way and where she wants to belong! I hear her talk about a couple of certain friends and the fun she has on the playground. She tells me that on some days her and about four or five friends, both girls and boys, play football. Funny, I never dreamed of Ya's going out and throwing around a football, but she does and she sounds like she enjoys the fun she has. I don't think it is something she would enjoy being structured, like a football team, but the fun in just running, and playing, maybe tackling!! Every time she tells me about it she smiles, I love that!!

Adam is struggling in school. An F on his interim report has really got us fired up, but because of that report, it opened more and different discussion between myself, Larry and him. He has a plan and seems to be working to make that plan happen. Then his Homeroom teacher called to inform us that Adam is also meeting with him and his teachers to see what and how they can help him. So with everyone on board, including Adam, maybe we will see change and maybe we will figure out what and who can help, if anyone! I know the change from child to young adult was hard, but I really thought it was supposed to be easier for boys. It doesn't seem to be easier, just a bit different. His belief of trust in us as parents is going through a huge change and finding out where that line is between, child/adult, and where he fits in, again!!! This time is a huge challenge for all of us. How much leeway is not enough and how much is too much! What is right for one child isn't right for another. This is tough, as a parent. I can't compare my childhood to his because it is so different and my husband can't compare either. We have to raise him as his own! I know I love him and don't want to steer him wrong, but I also know I love him and want to steer and guide him right!! Wow, this stuff is tough!

They really do grow up far to fast.

He hung up on me!!

OK. New one, I asked the little one to go back to the other house with me and he said NOOOOO!! I pressed and asked why about 3-4 times, he finally responded with
"that town/city is dirty I said what about (different) town/city?" to which the little one responded "I am not going it is dirty too!" the next thing I heard was nothing, a click and nothing, I said hello, like 4 times and then I heard a dial tone, guess he doesn't want to go to the old house!!

Funny thing is, that if the older two children would have done that to me I would have "ripped them a new one!!" Instead I called the little one's father and said "(Ha Ha Ha ha) he hung up on me, the little one hung up on me, he didn't want to go to the old house because, that town, is dirty!" Funny thing is Daddy laughed to! Did it hurt either of us, it wasn't going to change anything, with him, but with the first two, it would have been life changing! OK so I have changed my thought pattern a little, but not a ton!

Garage at the old house still got cleaned out, probably better with only the older two there and not having the little one! Sometimes a hang up is good!

I Think it is Worth Sharing Again

As I have pondered this post since I posted it, the second time, I have come up with a few thoughts I want to share, before you read it.

10-4 is the date, and that is great that it also means, I've got it, I understand, and OK. Now, that I use a radio at work everyday, this makes even more sense. But, here it is, even though "10-4" only happens once a year, I think it is a reminder of what God is saying to us everyday during, at the end, in the middle and quite honestly everytime we say AMEN in our prayers, or during the day when we are "praying without ceasing"!

Another thought that comes to mind is during Bill Engvall's little blurb on men and women,(where he talks about his friend getting a divorce) to me this basically states, here it is! Which is how I usually pray, here it is and God doesn't ask any questions he doesn't make any comments, He simply let's us end when we end and is already handling the situation and needs no further help on our part!!

Here's the other thought I had, and I did have several (I really am being short), we honor those who go away from the country to defend us and I think we do a decent job of it, we send them emails and video of what is going on and how we appreciate the work they are doing, but it is seldom, rare even, when we thank the police officers who protect, to the point of giving their life, us from the evils right here in our own America. Hard as that may seem, when you getting pulled over to get a ticket for speeding or not stopping completely for a stop sign, it is very true. Maybe, just maybe the next time you see a cop on the street, doing his/her job, you will thank them for their commitment to keep our Country as safe as they can! And Maybe, please maybe, you will tell them 10-4, I understand what you are doing and I support you, even if that means paying the fine I have been given, in order so that next time I follow the rules, to keep our Country as safe as we can!
My thoughts are long winded I know! On to the story.....

I posted this story last year, but it is such a good memory at a time where most of my memories are very bad, and sad so I'll post it again.

Here is a link to a story to show what is going on in Texas to honor those Officer's killed in the line of duty.

I have a story to tell,

Here goes:October 4, 1988
San Antonio, Texas During a Murder Trial Trial it was against a Serial Killer that killed a Beaumont Police Officer in early 1988.
A little detail behind:
This police officer was on his way home to his wife and two girls and he noticed a car that looked out of place, and found it had been stolen. He followed the car to a hotel, called for backup, and followed the man inside. The man (Michael Lee Lockhart) had pulled a gun on the police officer and shot him and when the police officer begged for him not to shoot again, he did, he shot again and the police officer was fatally wounded just where the bullet proof vest didn't cover. Because of him doing his job even off duty, the man who murdered my sister and another girl murdered in Florida (these are the only two he was convicted of, there are more) was caught and taken off of the streets. Some things you should know: Never kill a police officer in Texas.

Texas rocks in the death penalty, YES, I believe in the death penalty.

My mom and I were "requested" to come and testify against the murder for his "sentencing phase" and we went.

We arrived on October 4th.

I remember meeting lots of people and all very nice.

There was a man there, he was the father of the Police Officer killed in the line of duty. He was a "typical Texan" polite kind and a big man.

We had been chatting for a while and the verdict came back for the trial against the man who murdered his son.

It was guilty, the first guilty verdict that came against him for murder. This Father of the Police Officer said to me: "You know what this means?"

I replied "it means this is going the way we want it to"

His reply was, "Yes, but it also means something else"

I asked "What?"

Mr. Hulsey Sr. said to me "Today is 10-4 a sign from God, to say everything is o.k., 10-4 good buddy, I have it handled, I can do this, a real sign from God, in Police Officer language" Oh, did I mention this man was also a Police Officer?!I can't help but to smile on 10-4, no matter what is going on or how good or how bad it is, it is 10-4!!

I think they got it.....

Amazing, nine months with the same company and calling them out, time after time after time. Each time they called to say "REPAIRED" I said, "NO! Try again!" They did, time after time after time. First problem was this home is about 20 years old and I don't think anyone had DSL and I know the previous owners didn't even have a land-line, let alone DSL! Each time they repaired something and continued to adjust my account. With that all said, let me also tell you that this has been going on since we moved in, January! However, there was a full 3-4 weeks where it worked perfectly. You know, that 3-4 weeks was when it was most necessary, when my family visited. At that time, we were not only able to hook up the desk-top, but we were able to add a wireless connection, could it have been a mistake or a fluke? I think not, I think, know, that we had a little extra help at that time. As minuscule as you might think, 9 Internet people and one who benefits from it tremendously, is not a minuscule thing to me! If there was any one time I wanted it to work more than others, and as if, I could have chosen, it would have been then! Yes, so that my friends, is just another small miracle in my world!

UPDATES:
Father-in-Law doing OK as far as I have heard. I know he came home from the hospital in less than a week, after having his other kidney removed. I know I join my MIL in the concerns of dialysis, but we also rejoice in God's Blessings on both my MIL and FIL. This battle they have fought together is nothing short of a miracle. Life is never easy, but how the two of them just make it work and have been for 45+ years is absolutely amazing! They still like each other, let-alone love each other. Good, no, Great role models to have in our lives.

I live in my house and I organize as though I live in it. My mother lives in her home and organizes as though she doesn't "LIVE" in her home. Make sense? It does to me right now. I organize a functioning living home. So, if you, "just stop by" there will be baskets, of dirty sorted laundry, lined up in the hallway, and dishes waiting to be put in the dishwasher and a dishwasher washing or waiting to be unloaded (one of the kids jobs and I refuse to fire any of them). You will find shoes by the front door and backpacks throughout, even though, by the end of the night (if I am home) the shoes will be put in closet (this job belongs to one of "those" I refuse to fire) and the backpacks will be placed inside the bench by the front door(same as above, I am not the firing kind). You will also find different shoes by the back door (which none of "those" I refuse to fire are currently assigned to put away) and a few small pebbles of dog food around that area, given enough time the dogs will clean that up (everyone participates in our house) and more than likely, at least, 1 basket of clean folded laundry (realistically 2 or 3 and they could be not in a basket but on my couch). So the difference is: I need 15 minutes of "sweaty mess, everyone participates, action" before someone comes over and My mom does not, she is always ready. However, I realize her methods, will not work for me, and my methods won't work for her. Good thing is, as far as, filth-flarrin'-filth neither of us will have it.
Bottom Line: If your visiting me call 1/2 hour ahead or at least 15 minutes and if your visiting my mom give her at least a 1/2 hour to 15 minutes advance notice. The difference: She will be pressed and ready and I will be ready!
Make sense? Makes sense to me!



let's see how long this Internet thing holds up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The family went with me to where I have been working because I had to pick up my safety stuff!!!

So I can go back to the other yard! Anyway, I took advantage of the time there and showed hubby and the kids around, just a bit! I really really wanted them to get a ride on a loco but the change of shift really put a damper on things!! So I showed them around as much as I could!! Not sure but I could probably get in trouble for this stuff! When I heard my oldest say that I am sooooooo coool because I work at such a cool place, nothing else mattered!! Adam had so many questions about loco's and they way things worked, I felt proud and honored, My boy, MY BOY wanted to know about what I do!! I felt like "COOL MAMA" for a moment! Do you believe that these little faces did not want to go at all when I was trying to get them to get ready to get going! I cannot stand that, they tell you how boring it is going to be and horrible it will be! Then, you get there and you find them interested and smiling and there must have been 10,000 thank you's on the ride home! Oh, I just got another one!

I cannot believe it has been 20 years.....

So it is October 13, 2007.

20 years ago I lost my sister because someone made the choice to take her life!
Yes, it still hurts, and yes I still miss her! Yes, I think about her daily. We were 13 months apart and even closer as friends and as sisters! I think we shared an awesome relationship. I am thankful for the 15 years I had with her and for her 16 years on the earth!

No, I don't think God did this to me. Yes, I think God worked things for GOOD!!!

So today I kept my family close. Took them shopping and out for lunch for Pizza!! No, the kids didn't know why they weren't allowed to go on with their friends, all they knew was mama wanted them close. My husband knew and my mom who was with us needed this closeness also! I talked with my dad today, he just kept busy, very busy! I know it hurts him and I wanted him with us today, but God had other plans for him and as long as God is keeping him close and Dad is keeping Him (God) close, my dad will be fine!!

We shopped, they bowled, we took pictures, we ate and they acted silly and even got a little serious once!! The dog even got in on it!!
I am still a mom, I am still a wife I am still a child of God I am still a sister to Windy and still a daughter to my mom and dad. I still have so much to be thankful for and so much to look forward to. Life is awesome and can be sad, one thing for sure, God's love is forever and always His love is through it all!!!!!!!

One song kept popping in my head today: Don't Blink There is another one I think of often, it was the song Windy was named after by the Association (an oldy) and always brings tears of joy to my eyes!

I know life would not have ended up the same but I wish she was here to enjoy it with me. I wish I had a sister to share with I wish so many things.... I do not have to wish for the closeness of family and family and friends I think of like sisters and enjoying watching my children call people aunt and know that I absolutely feel they are my sisters and they are their aunts! God can redeem all for good.

I remember my sister's First Communion that meant so much to her, I remember watching her make her Confirmation and her friend Kelly standing in with her, the way she answered the Bishop's questions with confidence! I remember the first time, the only time, she told me she was in love!! I remember my mom teaching her how to drive and laying down in the backseat because it was a little unnerving!!

2o years and not one person can take away memories, I have them and love my memories!! Thank God for Grace and Mercy and Love!!!

Thank you to friends and family who have and continue to pray. Please pray for my mom and dad I want them to make it through the next 10 years with Grace, Mercy and Love only God can Grant!!